#国外打拼##跨国婚恋##新加坡打拼##跨国爱情##人物故事#
This is the 3,688th real story we have told
I am Fangfang, a native of Nanchang, Jiangxi, when I was 21 years old, because my mother died suddenly, in grief, I wanted to leave the sad place and go out.
There happened to be an opportunity to work in Singapore, and I didn't hesitate to go.
I never thought that after going abroad, my boss actually arranged for me to do rough work with a group of men, and I wanted to change departments, but I was threatened to send me away if I couldn't do it.
I took the lead in accepting the arrangement, but unexpectedly my wallet was stolen and my landlord peeped at night. When I couldn't bear it, I could only hide in the toilet and cry.
Now, I have been working in Singapore for more than 10 years and have fulfilled my childhood dream of pursuing a career in an educational institution and buying a house.
Here, the most fortunate thing is to hold hands with a Malaysian as a husband, and there is also the crystallization of love. While I am grateful, I still don't want to rest on top of my laurels, but continue to improve myself.
These years of hard work in foreign countries have made me understand that women must live a sober life, and each of us truly relies on ourselves.
(Happy family of three)
In 1983, I was born in an ordinary family in Nanchang, Jiangxi Province, and my parents were workers. As far back as I can remember, they were always busy with their work and paid little attention to me.
I have a younger brother and we go to school together during the day. When night fell, we used to sit in the doorway, looking in the direction of the stairs and waiting for Mom and Dad to come home.
Although my dad rarely accompanies us, he is helpful and has a great influence on me.
Dad knows a little about traditional Chinese medicine, and after work, he often goes up the mountain alone to collect medicines, and then grinds them into powder by himself. My brother and I rarely go to the doctor, and occasionally we take the medicine powder made by my father for colds and fevers, and we can be cured quickly.
Dad would also give homemade Chinese medicine to neighbors and relatives in need, and everyone would often send things to the house as a token of gratitude.
"It is a blessing to suffer losses, and when we meet people in difficulty, we will help as much as we can. This is a phrase that my father often said, and I respect him for his generosity.
(Photo of the siblings and their mother)
I occasionally envy my friends from well-off families, but my father taught me how to be a man and my mother's selfless love for us since I was a child, which is more important than any material gift.
When I was 18 years old, I was admitted to a local junior college. I thought that after graduation, I would find a job in my hometown like my mother, and then start a family and raise children. Unexpectedly, when I was 21 years old, my life had a huge turning point.
After graduating from junior college, my mother had a serious illness, and I took my mother's place to go to work. Originally, I thought that when she recovered, she would be able to come back to work.
Unexpectedly, my mother couldn't afford to get sick and passed away a few months later.
It was a bolt from the blue, and seeing my mother end her life in such a hurry, I felt that the future was lost.
It was at this time that a friend recommended me to work in Singapore. I didn't want to be trapped in a small city for the rest of my life, working day and night every day, and spending my life in a hurry and toil, so I chose to go abroad.
(I had a huge turning point in my life)
Dad was worried about it when he found out, but at my insistence, he finally nodded and agreed.
I am very happy to have my father's support, but there is another practical problem in front of me - I need to pay 50,000 yuan for working in Singapore.
The family was not well-off, and my father sold his ancestral house to make up the expenses for going abroad.
On the day I left, there was a light rain in the sky, and I was carrying my bags on my back, excited and scared.
Before parting, I didn't dare to look at my father, turned around and walked out of the house, and then my heart began to throb a little. I secretly told myself that I must work hard and earn back the money from the sale of the house to my father as soon as possible.
At the same time, my heart is full of expectations for the future life. A fresh start, an adventurous spirit keeps me motivated.
I never thought that when I arrived in Singapore, I had a lot of discomfort in my life at first.
(Rainy sky)
Singapore has a hot climate with chronic rainfall. I didn't know much about the local weather, and I was often drenched in soup on the road.
There is also a bus in Singapore that does not broadcast the stop, and I have sat in a daze several times.
However, the streets of Singapore are very clean. Once I was walking on the road with a friend, he had an upset throat, coughed up a mouthful of phlegm, and spit in a ditch by the side of the road. Unexpectedly, a person passed by, "clicked" and took a photo, and then my friend was fined more than 1,000 yuan! I couldn't help but sigh that my friend's phlegm was really more expensive than gold.
Another time, I got wet, wiped my face with a tissue, and carefully found a "garbage can", thinking that I must not be punished for littering. Unexpectedly, I threw the paper ball into the bucket used by the local Chinese to burn paper money, and I was scolded by the other party after being discovered.
At the same time, I am surprised that many Chinese people still do not forget their ancestors when they go to foreign lands, and still worship devoutly during the New Year's holidays.
(Chinese people in other places worship their ancestors devoutly)
The most difficult thing to overcome in the early days of Singapore was the language. The English I learned in school was not used for everyday communication. Most of the people are Chinese, and the languages are diverse, most of them are English mixed with dialects, and every time I try to communicate, it takes me a lot of energy to understand and figure it out.
Although it was a long and painful period of adaptation, I was determined to work hard. I know that in the world, no one can be relied on, and the only one who can rely on is myself.
However, just as I was ready to work hard, I found that my boss had assigned me a position in the lathe department.
The department is almost entirely men, and many of them are manual jobs. I asked my boss to change departments, but I was scolded by him.
The boss had a big temper and said that if I couldn't do it, he would send me back to China immediately.
I was so frightened when I heard it, I finally came here, I didn't make enough money for my father to sell the house, how could I be sent away like this?
As soon as I gritted my teeth, I did all the hard work.
In front of people, I pretended to be strong, but I couldn't bear it, so I could only hide in the toilet and cry secretly.
(I'm determined to work hard)
When I first arrived in Singapore, I really experienced all kinds of hardships. Walking on the road, the wallet was stolen. When I woke up in the middle of the night in the rental house, I found the landlord peeking out of the window, and in a panic, I moved out of the rental house overnight. In order to save money, not only did I not dare to buy meat to eat, but sometimes the lunch was sour until the evening, and I was reluctant to throw it away, so I just ate it hard. At work, I didn't dare to take leave even when I was sick, and my life was trembling.
There is a good saying: "I believe that all encounters are not accidental, and all tests have their meaning." ”
My hard-working colleagues see me. Gradually, more and more colleagues came to help me. The inspector master of another department also noticed me, and she saw that it was not easy for me to be unaccompanied, and the workload was too large, so she offered to let me be her assistant in the testing department.
Later, when the inspector was about to retire, she asked me to take her place. At that time, I thought of the scene of my father selflessly helping others when I was a child, and I realized more deeply how precious it is to have noble people to help and help in difficult times.
(I often eat rancid meals)
After a few years of work, I learned that I couldn't just try to apply for a green card day after day.
Whether it is the strictness of the boss or the fatigue of work, I endure it silently, and I only hope to have a good performance and successfully apply for a residence permit.
Hard work pays off, and hard work pays off. In 2008, I not only sent back all the money from my father's sale of the house, but also successfully obtained a Singapore green card. Life is finally bitter.
With a long-term residence permit, I no longer have to worry about being sent away at any time if I don't have a good job, and I don't have to swallow my anger to get by.
When I was 25 years old, I quit my job after four years and started a new part-time job.
Later, I worked as an office clerk, restaurant waiter, etc., and challenged myself in different positions, and my abilities in all aspects were trained.
As my mind matured, I began to think about the future. Ever since I was a child, my dream was to become a teacher when I grew up, a career I've always wanted since I was a child.
So, in 2012, I joined an early education institution as an assistant teacher.
(Dream of growing up to be a teacher)
At that time, I thought that early education institutions are also a kind of education industry, so I wanted to follow my heart's yearning and develop slowly in the education industry.
The principal of the nursery where I work is an Indian, and she admires me very much when she sees that I work hard and work hard.
After six months there, the principal came to talk to me. She said that I had done a good job and that it was rare to get a green card, so she encouraged me to continue my studies at the training school.
After listening to her advice, I realized that if I want to develop better in early childhood education institutions, I need to keep improving my professional level. Constantly improve your talents, and only then will you deserve a better job and life in the future.
So, I used the money I had saved from working for a few years to sign up for a training institution.
When I entered the school, I heard that it was difficult to graduate, so I was prepared to study hard from the beginning. Soon after the start of school, I found a part-time job, working as a waiter in a restaurant during the day and studying hard at school at night.
Although the days are busy, I feel full and satisfied.
(I'm busy but I'm satisfied)
Of course, I was really tired at that time, I came to school after a busy day's work, and I had to concentrate on the lectures, and I had to stay up late to do my homework when I returned to the dormitory in the evening. Over time, I often can't help but take a nap at work during the day, my spirit is not good, and I have a lot of difficulty studying for a while.
To have a strong personality that does not allow myself to lag behind my classmates, I am more strict with myself. No matter how tired I am during the day, I always keep myself in good shape for class at night.
There is a good saying: "Life will never be a disadvantage to everyone who works hard." "While I'm trying my best to be a better version of myself, fate is quietly arranging for me.
Just as I was devoting myself to my studies, I was introduced by a friend and met my current husband.
His name is Ah Kam and he is Malaysian, one year older than me. He has short hair and clear eyes, giving him a sincere and down-to-earth feeling. He works as a chef at the restaurant where I work part-time.
When I chatted with him, I learned that he had shaved his hair off because he had gone to a Thai temple to practice some time ago. He was very conscientious and cared about me, and we got to know each other very quickly. At first, I was just curious about him, and gradually I developed a crush on him.
(I met a Malaysian)
Once, a Chinese came to Singapore to look for relatives, but when he arrived here, he couldn't contact his relatives for a while. When Ah Jin heard about it, he stepped forward with concern and asked for the address of the other party's relatives. After learning about the specific situation, he put down the work at hand and personally took the Chinese to find someone.
Afterwards, I asked him why he wanted to help a stranger, and he replied, "Everyone has difficulties when they go out, and when you meet someone who needs help, you can help as much as you can." ”
It's so moving, and so familiar. When I was a child, my father often said something like that. From that moment on, I was sure in my heart that Ah Jin was a man worthy of trust.
Later, we came together as a matter of course. I have a place to rely on, and I am no longer alone in a foreign country.
Just when I thought that Ah Jin and I would enter the marriage hall sweetly hand in hand, a scar on Ah Jin's chest plunged me into a deep conflict.
(I'm sure in my heart that Ah Jin is a man worth entrusting)
"This scar was left a few years ago when I had heart surgery. Ah Jin observed the change in my expression and then told me. Although the surgery was very successful, I am now having regular check-ups, and I am in good health, but if I have concerns about this matter and cannot accept him, he will respect my choice.
When my friends found out, they kindly advised me to give up the relationship. They told me that although Ah Jin's heart is normal now, no one can guarantee whether he will relapse in the future. And, even if you don't think about yourself, think about the next generation. In case it will be inherited, it will not be fair to the children, after all, marriage is a matter of two families, and it cannot be done alone.
Reason tells me that my friends' words are true, but on the other hand, I don't think I should leave Ah Jin because of his health problems.
At the same time, I would like to believe that good people will be blessed with stars. Ah Jin is an honest and kind person, and the surgery was also successful, and I believe that we will go on for a long time.
(Ah Kam has had heart surgery)
In this way, Ah Kam and I returned to our home in Malaysia to meet his parents and siblings. His family was very welcoming, and I felt like I was coming home eating the food cooked by Ah Jin's mother.
In 2015, Ah Jin and I had a wedding in Malaysia. Dad and aunt and uncle were all there for our wedding.
I held a bouquet of flowers, snuggled up to Ah Jin, looking at the relieved smile on my old father's face, and so many family and friends who toasted to send us blessings, at that moment, my heart was touched and filled with happiness, but there seemed to be an indescribable emotion surging.
After the wedding, I said goodbye to my father and aunt and uncle, and then Ah Jin and I had a deep conversation.
(I hold a bouquet of flowers and snuggle up to Ah Jin)
He wants to stay in Malaysia because it will be easier for us. After all, Malaysian families have a house and a car, and the cost of living is not as high as Singapore's, so life will be easier.
At that time, I happened to be pregnant. He wanted me to raise the baby at home with peace of mind, and told me that if I chose to stay in Malaysia, I would not have to work at all after giving birth and just take care of the baby at home.
But I knew in my heart that that was not the life I wanted, and my studies in the training institution were not over yet, so I would not give up my studies easily and only be a full-time mother.
At the end of 2015, I gave birth to my daughter and returned home to Malaysia after returning from the confinement centre.
My mother-in-law is a Malaysian Chinese from Fujian. Her thinking is very traditional, and she still worships her ancestors devoutly during the New Year's holidays. And her traditional thinking is also reflected in all aspects of daily life. During my confinement, my mother-in-law felt that it was not appropriate for the mother to be close, and all family members, including Ah Jin, were not allowed to enter my room for the time being. They wanted to see me and the child, and they were all standing in front of the window and watching through the glass.
(Home in Malaysia)
I don't understand these practices of my mother-in-law, and I will inevitably complain. But on the other hand, my mother-in-law is doing her best to take care of my daughter and me, and her concern is very heartwarming to me.
In addition, I am also a mother myself, and I can better understand the feelings of mothers who think about their children everywhere, and I am slowly relieved.
Also, I know that when faced with a disagreement with my family, a better way to solve it than complain is to respect each other and not interfere with each other.
Therefore, after recuperating my body, with my repeated insistence, Ah Jin also agreed to take me back to live in a rented house in Singapore.
I know very well in my heart that I don't want to live a comfortable life in Malaysia, I have my own studies, I have my own goals, even if I am married, I will continue to strive for a better self.
(Mother-in-law did her best to take care of my daughter)
In 2016, I graduated with the first place and then successfully joined the early education institution assigned by the school.
Of course, thanks to my mother-in-law to help me take care of the baby, Ah Jin and I can work hard without worries. When I am grateful and work hard, reality is also constantly rewarding me with good luck.
In 2021, I successfully applied for Singapore citizenship, and then bought a house in Singapore, ending my long-term rental life.
At the same time, I also took my daughter to my side. My daughter is in very good health. What makes me even more fortunate is that in the years since marriage, Ah Jin's heart has been normal every time he has been rechecked. This also made me more firm in my original belief that good people will be blessed with stars.
(Healthy and lovely daughter)
As Lu Yao said: "Life can't wait for others to arrange, you have to fight and struggle for yourself, no matter whether the result is happy or sad, but the consolation is that you have lived in this world in vain." ”
Right now, that's what I believe in my heart. Even if life is not vigorous, you must be a sober woman in the world, do not complain, do not give up on yourself, have a clear direction, and move forward bravely for a better tomorrow.
[Dictation: Yoshiyoshi]
[Editor: Mu Xiaoran]
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