I don't know if you've ever had such an experience:
When communicating with family members, they often can't control their emotions and vent to those closest to them;
When chatting with close friends, I didn't grasp the boundaries and inadvertently hurt my friends' feelings;
When I report to my boss about my work, I always can't grasp the core, and every time I come out of the boss's office, I feel deeply annoyed by my performance.
Speaking is the most revealing thing about a person, and what you say determines your future.
Speak politely and good luck is always there
Polite language expression is a direct demonstration of personal cultivation level.
Often, saying a good word, such as a lotus flower, can be an important factor in attracting positive fortune.
Writer Liu Yong encountered an incident in which he used words to resolve a dispute.
When a friend of his was building a tool room in his backyard, his neighbors accused him of illegal construction.
In order to set the record straight, he consulted with the local construction administration and learned that only buildings that exceed the required dimensions will be illegal.
After measuring, the friend found that his project was indeed two feet out.
So, he adjusted the dimensions of the tool room to ensure that it met the legal requirements, and finally completed the construction.
After the construction of the house was completed, the friend planned to provoke the neighbor, wanting him to know that he was not easy to mess with, but was persuaded by Liu Yong
Obstruct.
Liu Yong suggested that he speak in a different way.
The friend took this suggestion and expressed his gratitude to the neighbor, because it was the neighbor's warning that made him aware of the potential legal problems and avoided possible legal risks and financial losses.
As a result, not only did he not offend his neighbors, but he also unexpectedly made friends with them.
Speaking politely brings good luck and positive socialization.
Smart people speak because they have something to say, but there are also stupid people who speak because they want to say.
There's also a joke:
One host invited four friends to the house, but only three arrived on time.
The master waited anxiously and blurted out:
"Hey, it's not here yet. "
When a friend heard this, he was displeased:
"Shouldn't I come?"
So, he immediately got up and said goodbye and left.
Seeing this, the master became even more anxious:
"What shouldn't have gone is gone. ”
Another friend also got angry when he heard this:
"Am I the one who should go and don't?"
After saying that, he also left.
The master smiled wryly and said to the only remaining friend:
"They misunderstood, and I didn't mean them. "
However, the friend also said angrily:
"If it's not about them, it's about me. "
Before the owner could explain, the friend left, leaving the owner remorseful.
The joke conveys the message that a person who speaks casually without thinking about it can get into trouble.
In this joke, the host thinks he can adjust the atmosphere, but because of his impolite words, the guests misunderstand.
It can be seen that in daily life, it is one thing to talk a lot, and it is another thing to be able to speak.
Being able to speak and say polite words not only helps us build social relationships, pass on information, express thoughts, but also bring good luck.
Speak humorously and laugh with each other
I once read a story about Socrates, and his wife, Xantibey, was given the nickname "Fierce Woman".
Once, when Socrates was discussing academic issues with his students, his wife rushed in angrily and yelled at Socrates.
After that, he brought a bucket of cold water and poured it directly on Socrates.
All the students present thought that Socrates would angrily rebuke his wife, but he touched his soaked clothes and humorously said:
"I know that after thunder there will be heavy rain. ”
Why did Socrates choose such a woman?
Here's what he said:
"Equestrians have a penchant for riding fierce horses, and once they get used to it, they can easily tame other horses.
If I can deal with this woman, there will be no one in the world who is difficult to deal with. ”
For Socrates, humor was not only a way of speaking, but also a way of looking at life.
Socrates' humorous language made his wife's anger change from "thunderstorm turning cloudy" to "cloudy and sunny", making onlookers laugh.
Humor is a lubricant, which can not only reconcile family conflicts and relieve the awkward atmosphere, but also achieve good advice in upward management.
During the Southern Tang Dynasty, the tax was very heavy, and the Jingshi area was in drought for many years, and the people were struggling to make a living.
Once, Liezu held a grand banquet in the North Garden of the Imperial City and asked the ministers a question:
"It's raining everywhere, but it's not raining in the capital, what's the reason for that?"
Official Shin responded humorously:
"The raindrops did not dare to enter the city for fear of being taxed. ”
As soon as these words came out, Liezu couldn't help laughing, and immediately announced the abolition of some excessively heavy taxes and miscellaneous taxes.
From this story we can see how great the power of humor is.
In laughter, it is easier for people to communicate and communicate, so that things can go in a more ideal direction, and good luck will follow.
will say praise, and life will be "open"
I remember when I first started my career, the company welcomed two interns, but there was only one position in the end.
These two interns have their own characteristics.
Although one has mediocre ability, he is good at communicating, and his words are pleasing and convincing;
The other is talented, with an outstanding image and excellent business level.
At that time, they were all front desks of sales.
The sociable intern is comfortable with clever words in any situation and situation.
Although his sales performance is not outstanding, he follows the leader every day, serves the leader, and even can understand what to say and do next only through the eyes of the leader.
Another talented intern, who travels every day to find customers and distribute flyers along the street, has achieved certain results.
When it comes to deciding who to keep, there is a preference for better-performing interns.
In the end, however, the leader chose an empathetic intern.
What is even more surprising is that soon after the departure of the director of teaching and research, he was directly promoted to the position of director of teaching and research, and we, the old teachers, became his subordinates.
It's clear that in the workplace, the power of praise cannot be underestimated.
It satisfies people's emotional needs, which in turn influences the decision-making of leaders.
As Lincoln said:
Everyone needs compliments, and you and I are no exception.
If you give praise to others, they will give you many opportunities in return.
In the workplace, being able to say compliments will often make your career hang.
In family, friends and workplaces, the importance of effective communication cannot be overstated.
Here are some suggestions on how to ensure that our communication is appropriate and effective:
First, if you don't have enough wisdom to use good language, then keep silent.
In particular, when the content of the communication is irrational, the most appropriate strategy is to avoid speaking.
Second, when emotions are out of control, stay calm and restrained to avoid destructive remarks that lead to adverse results.
If you really can't contain your anger at that moment, the best thing to do is to calmly observe what kind of virtue someone is when they are angry.
Third, even if a loved one makes a mistake, speak well.
Everyone makes mistakes, but the courage to admit them is not everyone's reach.
We can't project our worst emotions onto those closest to us because of their faults.
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Language is both thought and action.
It can determine the direction of your destiny, make your life happy, and have a stable career.
As Venerable Xuecheng said:
"What you say is actually what others think of you.
Everyone wants to change their fate, and to speak well is to change their fate. ”
Author | Shiman Liu Yun
Picture | Submitted by poetry and photography enthusiasts