I was shocked when I accidentally ran into my friend Xiao Cheng on the street. She used to love to dress up, and hurriedly put on a faded coat and went out, most of the vivid look on her face disappeared, and her words were no longer as active as before.
It turned out that she was in a stalemate with her boyfriend who had been with her for three years, and the two were on the verge of breaking up.
This relationship was likened by her to a "mortise and tenon joint that cannot be bitten", which almost exhausted her.
They are all the kind of people who look very good on the surface - they are well-matched, they are equally capable, they walk together, like characters in an oil painting.
Image source: "Normal People"
However, an uncomfortable relationship is like a shoe full of bright diamonds but does not fit.
After all, getting along day after day consumes the "joy at first sight" and exposes all the ugliness in the relationship. By the end, they couldn't even sit down calmly and eat a good meal.
Xiao Cheng is a girl with her own ideas, she yearns for distant places, longs for intellectual communication, and she needs a partner who connects with her and leads her to fight side by side.
But the boyfriend's ideal is a traditional marriage model, and no matter which girl walks into this mold, it is the same: a virtuous wife, the mother of future children, providing long-term sexual services and free housework.
Image source: "Married Life"
They used to be intimate and attracted to each other – but hormones aside, the spiritual core is very different. So when it comes to future career plans, the city you want to settle in, and those things that are related to the long-term development of your relationship, you always break up unhappily.
If the shoes don't fit, how can you walk a long way?
Choosing a lover to get along with day and night is like choosing a way of life, it doesn't need so much rhetoric and decoration, but it must bring you a solid and down-to-earth feeling, suitable and comfortable, in order to get along.
As singer Li Jian described: Good love makes people feel like a tiger.
If "love has its own providence", it must be effortless.
The following assessment will measure the quality of your intimate relationship from the three dimensions of positive experience, relationship stability, and intimacy level, help you think about whether the partner around you is "suitable", and provide you with a guide to managing the growth of your relationship.
"Find out if your lover is right for you?"
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The yearning for ideal intimacy is a kind of enlightenment of modernity. Looking at ourselves and others more clearly helps us better respond to our own needs for relationships.
I hope you and I can get out of a bad and reluctant relationship and find the person who makes you most comfortable~
Author: Kitty
Editor-in-charge: kk
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