Yesterday morning, it rained, so my son and I didn't go out for a walk, and chose to do crafts together at home.
It just so happened that he had a handiwork on the weekend, and the teacher meant that he could do hand-copied newspapers and other handicrafts, as long as it looked good.
The son plans to choose his favorite clay to make a large table of dishes, and on a large table he draws a lot of plates. The dishes on this table include scrambled eggs with tomatoes, stir-fried meat with chili, shredded potatoes with vinegar, braised fish, egg tarts, French fries...
He also made a shape for the braised fish, stuffing a "red fruit" into the mouth of the fish to make it look better, and of course sprinkled with chives.
I was doing my handiwork on the side, and suddenly he said, "My food is crooked, and I won't be able to get on the class wall." 」
I said, "It's okay, anyway, we're the happiest at the craft process." And the assignment you did today was so creative. 」
The son smiled while sticking to his "dish" and said, "Mama, you're right, I'm happy now. You see, I also made big dumplings. 」
When I was making a handbook, I pasted the material crookedly, complaining to myself, "You see I pasted the picture crookedly again." He immediately told me, "Don't you think it's beautiful even if it's crooked?"
You see, he immediately learns to use it, and when he socializes with other children, he will always comfort others first when he encounters this kind of thing.
Some children feel that they are not good enough to strive for perfection, and some children feel that they are not doing well because they are afraid of being criticized. Some children want to blame themselves when they encounter something because they want to do things well, and some children often deny themselves because of the influence of their parents.
Children are always very pessimistic when they do things, have more negative emotions, and blame themselves when they encounter problems, but as children, they will not deal with this kind of self-blame, which requires the help of parents.
⭕ Parents should be emotionally stable
Many parents often boast when their children are doing well, but when their children have problems, they begin to count their children's wrongs. Yelling, talking about the child's shortcomings, and saying things like "I'm for you...", make the child feel bad and sorry for the parents.
In such an environment for a long time, every time there is a change in the parents' emotions, the child will feel that it is his own mistake. Even in socializing with others, children tend to blame themselves for their own emotional changes in others.
⭕ Parents are less likely to blame themselves
There are a lot of parents who feel like they're not good enough, especially stay-at-home moms. When there is something wrong with the child, he complains about his failure in front of the child, feels that he is not good enough, is not a good mother, fails to bring a better life to the child, and so on.
Their attention is on the child, and the child's little problems and shortcomings will cause mothers to be anxious and self-blamed. This anxiety and self-blame can be contagious to the child.
Therefore, as the main caregiver of the child, you must recognize yourself, love the child and love yourself, and believe that what you can give the child now is the best.
⭕ Parents have less "control"
Some "perfect" parents are always critical of their children, and even control their children's "thoughts". Whenever a child has his own ideas and wants to do something according to his own ideas, parents are opposed.
Some parents even control their children and always like to add the word "must" to their children's requirements to shape their children into their ideal appearance.
This kind of control will make children feel guilty, blame themselves, and feel that they are incapable people and can't do their own things well.
Therefore, encourage your child more, praise and recognize them appropriately, and let them relax.
In addition to parents doing their best, they should also help their children recognize that the process of self-blame is not only painful, but also does not change the outcome of things. 」
You can start with small things, take your child to try new solutions, let your child make changes slowly, and when your child finds that things are better than he expected after the change, your child will be more willing to accept himself.
Allow us and our children to progress and grow slowly, with less anxiety, and it will be easier to perceive the good#春日生活打卡季! #