A healthy body and mind is what children need.
Super fun and immersive psychological interaction exercises to comprehensively improve children's concentration, social skills and emotional self-control.
Easily obtain 15 superpowers to control emotions, achieve a strong heart, no matter how difficult it is, and really lay a good foundation for mental health from an early age.
Through 15 major themes, this book comprehensively covers a variety of psychological problems that children may encounter.
The book uses humorous and affinity language, more than 400 comic illustrations, a large number of real cases and theme exercises, to help children easily acquire 15 superpowers to control emotions, and all the exercises in the book are clear and easy to understand, and the practical operation is interesting.
There are also various interactive challenges and ultimate challenges that parents and children can complete together.
There are a total of 99 efficient psychological exercises in the book, which provides children with fun tools to better deal with learning pressure, anxiety, sadness, fear, parental complaints and other problems encountered in learning and life, comprehensively improve children's emotional intelligence and adversity quotient, and help children really lay a good foundation for mental health from an early age, achieve a strong heart, and are not afraid of many difficulties.
Many children are emotionally distressed
"Can I do it?" I don't want to play anymore" "I'm scared of my last place"
"Because I didn't do well, my mother would scold me"
.. ...
In real life, many mothers will encounter their children saying the above words, at a young age, but showing a negative and pessimistic side.
Young children do not have a clear understanding of the "world", "society", and "life", and most of them think about how to play to make themselves happier.
However, many children are "old": they look at everything as if they are "worried about the sky", and their attitude is negative and pessimistic.
For example, if a toy car has a broken part, the child will say, "It's okay, just stick it with tape."
Children with negative attitudes will say, "It's already broken anyway, and it can't be repaired, so why waste your efforts." ”
Many parents may be puzzled: why do children have negative and pessimistic emotions? There are two main reasons.
The first reason: parents often complain to their children.
When children get along with their parents, they will subconsciously imitate their words and actions or agree with their "unique opinions".
However, some parents may complain to their children and instill negative thoughts because they may not be happy with their life and career, or they may have a more extreme attitude towards life.
They will say, "The world is so dark and full of injustices, it's so boring to live." After listening to their parents' "mantras" for a long time, children will subconsciously agree with their parents' views, look at the world and things around them with pessimistic and negative eyes, and give the conclusion that it is usually "give up quickly, it's useless".
The second reason: the child has a "psychological cloud".
The writer Chesterton once said: Pessimism, like opium, is a poisonous substance. Although it can sometimes be used as medicine, it should never be used as a meal.
Children are sensitive and fragile in their hearts, and it is easy to have psychological shadows because of a special thing.
The heart is full of negative clouds, dark clouds will cover the sun, the child's psychological shadow will remain for a long time, and the attitude towards something will be negative and pessimistic.
For example, I was excessively intimidated, beaten and scolded by my parents, and I had a psychological estrangement from my parents, and shadows also appeared.
When they look at growth and parental care, they will show an indifferent and pessimistic attitude.
Don't reject any emotion
All emotions and feelings are acceptable, don't exclude any one emotion.
Only certain behaviors are unacceptable.
For children, allow them to vent their emotions.
Usually, we should also pay attention to the child's mental state, if he is disappointed and depressed, we should not talk like we usually do when we are happy.
We should be considerate of each other's emotions, so that respecting the child is also teaching him to respect others and learn to respect each other.
When we criticize a child for an annoying behavior, it is better to describe the behavior itself rather than criticize him personally.
Some children cry and scream when things don't go their way, and even throw things, splash and roll, and it is difficult to calm down, and sometimes it lasts for a long time, and it is difficult to dissuade.
If the cause of the congenital neurological type can be ruled out, the child's temper tantrum is often accompanied by the development of self-awareness.
For children with limited language skills, temper is usually caused by having a need proposition but not knowing how to express it.
When the caregiver is unable to meet the need in a timely manner or even ignores it, the temper tantrum is detonated, and for children who already have some verbal skills, the temper can be caused by negative emotions of fear, loneliness, or not being appreciated.
Learn to accept your child's emotions
Parents should first realize that tantrums are a common psychological phenomenon in the process of children's growth, and do not regard children's easy tantrums as a failure of family education.
And according to Patti, an American parent-child communication expert, tantrums are actually one of the psychological rehabilitation mechanisms of children, with the help of this process, children will vent many bad emotions, such as frustration and helplessness.
So don't just force the process to end it.
There is no such thing as a temper tantrum for no reason, and when a child loses his temper, parents should also learn to find out the reasons behind the temper.
For example, are you ignoring a particular need of your child, and is the way you handle conflict creating a sense of unfairness in your child?
Does your child experience any learning disabilities?
And so on, this kind of questioning is easier to help you prescribe the right medicine, and the child will also learn to put himself in the shoes of his parents and grow from the empathetic way of dealing with them.
Learning to accept your child's temper is important, but if you don't have enough patience to deal with your child's temper, don't hold it on, let other family members help keep an eye on the child's safety in the temper storm, go to another room to calm down, and explain it to your child before leaving.
For example, "Mom feels that her head is about to explode, it seems that Mom needs to calm down" and so on, but don't say something like "I don't like you if I cry again", "Come to me again after crying enough", we can let the child see the limit of his patience, but we can't deny the child's emotions and make the child's pain worse.
Improper parenting style. If the caregiver often uses violence in the educational process, it can have a negative effect on the child, as the child may learn this way of dealing with the problem, and the child who is beaten may take out his bad feelings on others.
Write to the end
Asking a child whose prefrontal lobes are not yet mature to think and judge like an adult will lead to confusion due to the inability to judge what others are asking of them.
The so-called "sensible" means that individuals have been fully capable of being controlled by themselves in terms of thinking, judging, deciding priorities, emotional adjustment, and controlling impulses, but it is obvious that children in childhood are not yet truly "sensible".
In order for children to become as sensible as possible, we must start with emotional management, so that they can gain more control over themselves through self-esteem and self-love.
So, in general, the education of children should be emotionally guided so that they consciously do what we want them to do.
All contrary methods, even if they can achieve impressive results in the short term, but from the perspective of the child's long-term life, it may eventually be a drop in the bucket, either plunging the child into the abyss of pain, or making them suffer from gains and losses and lose themselves, becoming an obstacle in their later life.
The so-called emotion management training is a training process in which parents learn to control their negative emotions by understanding and accepting their children's emotions and finding ways to solve emotional problems with their children.