Text: Marriage counselor Liu Jie
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always been one of the most difficult relationships to deal with. In real life, some mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law are as close as mother and daughter, while others are as powerful as fire and water, and even directly affect the relationship between husband and wife.
Many couples have discord or divorce, mostly because of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Therefore, handling the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can often make the relationship between husband and wife more stable.
Even if the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is harmonious, there will be some seemingly inconspicuous little things that will become the fuse that detonates the conflict.
Today, let's talk about the taboos in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law that must not be touched.
01
Taboo 1: Criticize each other's private lives
Everyone has their own way of life, which is nurtured from childhood and is part of personal freedom.
Between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, especially mother-in-law, it is easy to want to interfere because they are not used to some of their daughters-in-law's practices.
For example, a daughter-in-law likes to sleep lazily on weekends, but her mother-in-law thinks that going to bed early and waking up early is a good habit, and her daughter-in-law likes to shop online, but her mother-in-law thinks it is a waste of money.
But remember, differences in lifestyle are not the criteria for judging whether a person is good or bad.
As the ancients said, "Do not do unto others as you would have them do unto you." ”
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should learn to respect each other's way of life and not try to forcibly change each other. Everyone has their own little world, as long as it doesn't affect family harmony and let each other keep a little personal space, what's the matter?
02
Taboo 2: Quarrels over children's education
Children's education is the top priority of every family. Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will always have disagreements because of different educational philosophies, which is actually very normal.
However, both parties should remain calm and rational and do not argue in front of the child, or show obvious discord.
Some mothers-in-law may stick to their own old-fashioned educational methods, while daughters-in-law are more inclined to modern educational concepts.
At this time, both parties need to sit down and communicate well to find a balance that is acceptable to both parties.
After all, children only grow up once, and any radical words and deeds may leave them with a lingering psychological shadow.
03
Taboo 3: Weigh the buck on economic issues
Economic problems are the root cause of many family conflicts, and mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are no exception.
Some mothers-in-law will feel that they have worked hard all their lives, and now it is time to enjoy it, so they have high requirements for their daughter-in-law's financial ability, and always want their daughter-in-law to buy this and that for themselves.
But the daughter-in-law thinks that it is not easy for her to take on her own small family, and she should not bear more economic pressure, and her mother-in-law should understand and help more.
In fact, when it comes to economic issues, both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should be honest and clear about their responsibilities and rights.
If possible, create a household budget that defines your expenses and savings plan for each month.
In this way, not only can disputes arise due to money issues be avoided, but also the family's financial situation can be more transparent and unnecessary conflicts can be avoided.
04
Taboo 4: Embarrass the other person in front of outsiders
Whether it is a family gathering or a dinner with friends, both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should save face for each other and avoid making each other unable to get off the stage in front of everyone.
Some mothers-in-law like to show off their family status in front of relatives and friends and shout at their daughters-in-law, while some daughters-in-law will sneer at their mother-in-law in front of outsiders and express their dissatisfaction.
In fact, these behaviors are very undesirable.
After all, the family is a whole, and one is prosperous and one is lost. Embarrassment doesn't show your status or ability, but it can strain family relationships.
Therefore, it is more important to maintain each other's feelings and dignity in front of outsiders.
In addition to the above four taboos, there are many details that need to be paid attention to in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
For example, learn to listen to the other person's voice, understand the other person's difficulties, respect the other person's opinions, and so on. Only in this way can the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law be more harmonious.
"Home and everything is prosperous", a harmonious family is the harbor that everyone yearns for. I hope that every pair of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can cherish the friendship between each other, and may every family be full of love and warmth!