It is difficult to take when I am a child, and it is difficult to manage when I grow up, and the children have thousands of personalities.
Parents often complain that their children are "too sensitive", get angry if they are not careful, and lose their temper if they are not careful......
Some parents also came up with ideas: if it were my child, he would not be left to "do", what to eat, what to ask for and what to do......
But in fact, high sensitivity is not a disease, nor is it a child's hypocrisy. According to relevant statistics: about 15%~20% of children in the population are born with high sensitivity.
In other words, high sensitivity is an innate temperament!
Conversely, if highly sensitive children are allowed to grow up in accordance with their natural nature, they tend to make achievements in areas such as art and science.
So, what are the characteristics of sensitive children, and how should we raise and accompany sensitive children? Today, Nuo Ma will talk to you about this topic.
01
If, you are a sensitive child......
American writer Elaine Allen has done a special study on "highly sensitive" children, and the results are published in the book "Exploring the Power of Sensitive Children".
According to the table, if your child has the above performance, then there is a high probability that the child has a highly sensitive temperament.
If you put it into categories, sensitive children generally have the following characteristics.
1) Super-peer children are "sensitive to stimulation"
Generally speaking, children's "perception" of external things develops from shallow to deep, but children with high sensitivity outperform children of the same age, and they are abnormally sensitive to sound, light, heat, cold, pain, etc. The sound is too loud, the food is too spicy, the smell is too bad, the shoes don't fit, and the clothes are a little wet...... Children are often troubled by various details of life and show unbearable feelings of pain.
As a result, "difficult to serve" has become an identity label for highly sensitive children.
2) Over-the-same children are "well thought out"
Generally speaking, children often make hasty decisions when processing information because of incomplete cognition. However, highly sensitive children will show "thoughtfulness" beyond their age in this aspect. They are very sensitive to various details, think carefully before making decisions, and are used to thinking twice.
In terms of external performance, the child may be hesitant before making a decision, but in fact, the child's heart is deeply processing the information.
3) Children of the same age are "emotionally rich"
Highly sensitive children tend to have rich and strong emotions, they have a very strong ability to empathize, can keenly perceive the emotions of others, show super empathy, and are considered "gentle children";
4) "Be careful" with children of the same age
Highly sensitive children pay great attention to details, and those small things or details that are often ignored by other children will be captured in their eyes and hidden in their hearts, looking "cautious" and "scheming". Therefore, we always pay more attention to external stimuli and other people's evaluations, and if they cannot be reasonably channeled, they are more likely to attack internally and cause psychological problems.
02
Congratulations, you have a highly sensitive child
For a long time, sensitive children have been misunderstood, crying is "hypocrisy", being unhappy is "playing tricks", and worrying is "posturing".
High sensitivity seems to be confused with "difficult children", but in fact, if you can respect the child's nature and look at the child from a different angle, it is actually a wonderful gift from God and deserves to be cherished.
I have a friend who has talked to me more than once: at home, it is not her husband who knows her best, but her son.
Since the child was sensible, every time she was in a low mood, her husband didn't notice it, but her son would thoughtfully lie on his mother's shoulder and comfort him warmly: "Mom, aren't you happy?" The depressed mood was instantly cured by the son.
As her son grows up, the child becomes her best bosom friend.
Mother and son often get up early on weekends, drive more than ten or twenty kilometers to the town to find breakfast, and then, sit side by side by the lake, one earplug per person, and eat breakfast while listening to music;
Friends said that every feeling she has can understand. The husband, on the other hand, is completely wooden.
Even once, when a friend complained that her husband was wooden and boring, her son said to her seriously: "Mom, it's okay, I will accompany you." ”
At that moment, a friend said, she almost burst into tears and felt that she had the courage to continue her marriage.
Yes, although highly sensitive children have such and such problems, the characteristics of high sensitivity also give these children their own characteristics.
They are observant, they are compassionate, and they will care for and comfort others in their own gentle way when they are not expecting them.
With the characteristics of gentleness, they are often more sensitive to the feelings of those around them, and care for and comfort others in their own way......
As it says in the recommended preface to "Discovering the Power of Sensitive Children":
"The children of the highly sensitive race are the elves who have fallen into the mortal world, and they must have gone astray, so they came to the world of Earth and were embraced by our lucky parents.
03
How to love you, my highly sensitive child......
How to raise a highly sensitive child not only requires parents to understand the characteristics of their children, but also needs more "special treatment" from parents.
1) Be a little more receptive
"High sensitivity" is not a mental illness, and "high sensitivity" is not a child's deliberate trouble, parents should first have a more rational understanding of the trait of "high sensitivity", accept the child's nature, and realize that it is actually an advantage of the child. Acceptance from the heart is the foundation of raising a highly sensitive child.
2) Be a little more patient
The newly bought clothes complained that they were uncomfortable and didn't want to wear them, the new food complained that they were not delicious and refused to eat again, but the bumps and bumps that were not much of a big deal were interpreted by him in an earth-shattering way......
When you encounter all kinds of "annoying behaviors" of highly sensitive children, don't hold back your temper: even if you don't feel it yourself, believe that they really feel it.
Be patient, agree with your child's discomfort, and be honest about how long the discomfort will last, so that your child can gradually develop the ability to wait, and give your child more time to adapt to the changes and digest themselves.
3) A little more affirmation
Give more encouragement and affirmation to your child's little progress, praise their efforts and achievements, and positive feedback, so that children can learn to deal with their own little troubles with the right ones, so as to become more and more confident children.
Weaknesses or strengths, many times, often lie in the parenting style.
Conform to the child's nature, explore the child's characteristics, and highly sensitive children can also be cultivated as satisfactory children.
I am Nuo Ma, I have a male treasure at home, and I am committed to parent-child growth research and provide valuable parenting dry goods for parents!