In interpersonal interactions, we will always encounter such a situation: someone hates you, and you are powerless to change, so you can only suffer in silence.
It's a very sad situation.
We all have times when we're feeling down, and even more so when we're having trouble with our interpersonal interactions.
At this time, what you need to do is to adjust your mentality, instead of blindly denying yourself.
We need to know that not everyone in life is a friend, and not everyone will like you.
If you always live in the eyes of others, you will never be truly happy.
And those who make us feel comfortable and at ease often have the following characteristics.
- Don't please others
In life, we often meet such a person, who is always afraid of losing the approval of others, and is always used to pleasing others.
We can say to people like this: "You are really great!"
But in fact, his inner inferiority complex is the root cause of his lack of confidence.
In the people-pleasing personality, they are accustomed to the fear of losing the approval of others and to the sense of security from others.
But in fact, he has no confidence in himself, always feels that he is not good enough, or even useless.
They are afraid that others will not like them and hate them, so they have been pleasing others.
They don't know how to reject others or how to express their thoughts and emotions.
They put all their energy into others. Such people can easily get bored and tired.
So we must learn to say no to others and learn to say "no". In this way, we can live in this world with ease.
- I don't care what other people think
I once saw such a story:
In a speech contest, a student took the stage to give a speech with the content of "My Mom".
The audience was cheering for her, but her mother was crying bitterly in the audience.
Because she has always cared about what others think of her children, she always lives in the eyes of others, which makes her feel very tired.
Finally, one day, she figured out that it doesn't matter what others say, the important thing is that she is happy.
So she chose to give up and never cared what others thought of her child.
Later, when she took the stage to speak again, she had become a confident, calm person.
Life is like this, out of the eyes of others, you can become your true self.
The biggest enemy of a person in this life is himself.
Living in the eyes of others can cause us to lose ourselves, and even lose ourselves.
Only if you dare to face your inner thoughts can you live the life you want.
The rest of your life is not long, don't let others define it for you. Only by living the way you want to live can you live a truly comfortable and comfortable life.
- Learn to say no
Do you feel this way?
In the face of other people's requests for help, I was obviously unwilling, but I was embarrassed to refuse.
When you can't, you're isolated by the people around you.
In fact, we should not put too much pressure on ourselves, let alone give up our choices because of the eyes of others.
Learning to say no is an essential skill for an adult.
When you learn to reject others, you will find that the world becomes simpler.
You may feel aggrieved and angry, but that's exactly what you have to go through to grow.
And when you learn to say no to others, it means you can have more freedom and happiness.
As the writer Carl Rogers said, "Don't live to please others." If you always let yourself live in the eyes of others, you will never be able to be your true self. ”
So, learning to say no doesn't mean you're not good enough, but it allows you to know yourself better and understand yourself.