#挑战30天在头条写日记#
Text: Mo Lishu (Rich Book Columnist)
Have you ever met this kind of person in your life?
didn't get down to business, but because of some boring gossip, he made irresponsible remarks in front of others;
A little thing, for the sake of face, regardless of the occasion, you have to fight for you to lose and I to win;
When the ears hear a few words, they can make up a big drama in their brains;
My own life is a mess, but I always want to dictate other people's lives.
The ancients said: Learn to speak at the age of three, and learn to shut up all your life.
Speaking is an ability, and cessation is a person's wisdom.
The greatest awakening of adults begins with cessation.
If you don't know the truth, stop talking
Stopping words is not not not speaking, but not saying casually, especially when encountering things that do not know the truth, do not speak easily based on appearances.
Richard Burton: "The truth is like a mirror scattered into countless fragments, and everyone thinks that what they see is the whole truth. ”
However, what you see is not necessarily the truth, and what you hear is not necessarily the truth.
If you don't understand the cause and effect of the whole thing, and don't understand the rights and wrongs of the characters, don't comment easily.
This will only lead to endless trouble, and your conscience will never be at peace.
We live in the Internet age, the speed of information is too fast, it is difficult to distinguish between truth and falsehood, and if we are not careful, we will fall into the whirlpool of public opinion.
Last week, it was rumored on the Internet that a female teacher at a school in Jinan, Shandong Province had a relationship with her students, and the incident fermented, and soon rushed to the hot search on Weibo.
For a while, there was everything on the Internet, and a student who claimed to be the teacher made remarks on the Internet based on the chat history alone, which made the situation bigger.
The student said that the female teacher got along with a boy in the class and did unspeakable things in her boyfriend's car, and then her boyfriend found out and chased him to the school and abused the boy.
Based on what he heard and guessed, the student made up a big drama in his head and published it on the Internet.
However, is this really the case?
Two days later, the school issued a statement that the female teacher had resigned a year ago, and according to the investigation, the female teacher had no improper relationship with the student.
Subsequently, the school also said that it was the enrollment season, and it was not ruled out that peers would use competition as a means to make a fuss and damage the reputation of the school.
Although the matter has been clarified, public opinion on the Internet has not stopped for a short period of time.
The parties will still be the focus of people's after-dinner discussions.
As the saying goes: good things don't go out, but bad things spread thousands of miles.
Negative events are often more likely to attract people's attention, triggering a large number of reprints by people who do not know the truth, thus covering up the truth of the facts.
Even if it is an official certificate or a personal clarification, many people's memories are still stuck in rumors rather than truth.
And this kind of thing that comes out of nothing just by seeing or hearing is often encountered around us:
Married male and female colleagues in the company are a little closer, and they say that they have private affairs, female employees who dress nicely and say that they misbehave, and mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have a bad relationship, so they speculate wantonly, and so on.
A good word is warm in three winters, and it hurts people maliciously in June.
For unknown truths, it is better not to comment, and it is the greatest kindness to keep your mouth shut.
When you want to argue with someone, stop talking
In life, we often meet a type of person who likes to argue with others.
No matter what this kind of person is, he always argues about the occasion and inopportunely, trying to win or lose, and get a point of superiority.
Once someone else has a different opinion, they will habitually refute it and stick to their own opinion.
Meaningless arguments are just consuming each other's time, affecting their own mood, and may even cause an irreparable situation.
For those who like to brush up on their presence, smart people will only laugh it off, not argue with it, silence is golden.
Dale Carnegie, the father of modern education in the United States, told a story of his own personal experience in the book "The Weakness of Human Nature":
Shortly after the end of World War I, Carnegie, as the manager of the Australian aviator Smith, attended a banquet hosted by Mr. Smith.
Carnegie sat with his friend Jamon as a guest at the table told a humorous story and quoted a quote.
The guest pointed out that the quote was from the Bible, but he remembered it wrong.
Carnegie affirmed the origin of that sentence, and the guest insisted on his opinion, and for a moment they could not hold on.
Carnegie's old friend, Jamon, was an admirer of Shakespeare and had studied Shakespeare quite well.
So, the guests who were expecting the truth gave the question to Jamon to answer.
Jamon kicked Carnegie under the table and said in front of everyone, "Dale, you're mistaken, this gentleman is right, that quote is from the Bible." ”
After the feast, Jamon and Carnegie were on their way home, and Carnegie asked Jamon in confusion: "You know that sentence is from Shakespeare, but why do you say that my answer is incorrect?"
Jamon replied, "Your answer is correct, that sentence is from Shakespeare's Hamlet, Act 5, Scene 2, but have you ever thought that we are just guests?" ”
Jamon then said: "We are attending someone else's banquet, and you and that gentleman are only meeting for the first time, so why do you have to prove that it is someone else's fault? Why don't you save a little face for him? What is the point of arguing about the result?"
You may win the argument, but it will only be a temporary victory, and in the end you will lose the favor of the other person and the people around you.
Admittedly, there is never a winner in the debate.
Arguing with your family, you will lose the warmth of family affection;
Arguing with a lover can end up tearing the family apart;
Argue with your friends, and friendship will leave you......
Zhuge Liang, who has been eloquent all his life, said: "The highest state of debate is not to argue, and silence is the most effective way to treat people who like to argue." ”
Judge the situation and know how to stop in moderation.
Seeing through it or not saying it is leaving the other party with the last dignity.
When emotionally unstable, stop talking
People in the world say that it is rare to be confused, but in fact, it is the importance of emotional stability.
An emotionally stable person with strong self-control and will not be affected by the interference of the external environment.
Such people often do not like things, do not feel sorry for themselves, and are not shocked by humiliation.
On the contrary, people who are emotionally unstable are prone to anxiety, irritability, frustration, frustration, and even doubts about themselves.
Nietzsche said, "If a person's emotions are always out of control, then he will be caught in the emotional vortex and lose his freedom." ”
When people are emotionally unstable, their brains can't concentrate on thinking about problems, and it's easy to make mistakes in judgment, which puts things in an irreparable situation.
The most cruel way to ruin a person is to immerse someone who is emotionally out of control in their own world.
At the end of 2023, in Qingdao, a delivery man wanted to enter the community to deliver takeaways, but was stopped by the community security guards.
One wanted to enter, the other didn't let in, so the two had a fight due to emotional excess, and then the security guard killed the delivery man with a knife.
At the time of his death, the delivery man was only 32 years old.
A bloody case caused by excessive emotions made a white-haired person send a black-haired person, how distressing!
Emotions out of control, just like a reservoir flooding, pouring thousands of miles, there is no way to resist it.
In life, we often encounter irreparable regrets because of a small thing:
Couples with good relationships go overboard and break up;
Husbands and wives quarrel, and good families are torn apart;
Colleagues quarreled with each other over the unfair distribution of work, and eventually both were dismissed......
When we are emotionally unstable, staying silent can help us avoid irrational decisions driven by emotions, and avoid the consequences of decisions made on a whim.
Keeping your mouth shut when you are in a bad mood can reduce conflicts and conflicts caused by excessive words and deeds, and maintain the harmony of interpersonal relationships.
Silence is not only a manifestation of wisdom, but also the key to winning the respect and friendship of others.
As the old saying goes: If you say too much, you will lose, and disaster will come from the mouth.
Silence is a kind of self-protection, and it is also the minimum moral character of being a person.
Don't gossip about other people's rights and wrongs, criticism will only bring endless trouble;
Don't get involved in boring arguments, which will only consume your time;
You don't care about other people's lives, you just need to do your part.
Learning to stop speaking is the best practice for a person.
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