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My mother-in-law's name is Zhang Shuzhen, she is 62 years old this year, and she is a traditional old man. She is stubborn and often insists on her own way of doing things, which inevitably creates a generation gap between us young people. However, her unconditional dedication and love for her family is beyond reproach.
During the nine months of pregnancy, I was at times joyful and sometimes worried. On the one hand, I am very happy that I am about to have a new life, and I look forward to the day when I will hold my child. On the other hand, I was also nervous about the hardships of childbirth and the burden of raising a child in the future.
Finally, on a cold winter day, I experienced one of the most painful nights of my life, and gave birth to my child with great difficulty. Looking at the little life crying in my swaddling clothes, my heart was filled with unprecedented happiness and responsibility. I swear that no matter what, I will do everything in my power to raise this child to adulthood.
"You're too young and inexperienced, so I'll help you. That's what my mother-in-law said.
However, my mother-in-law's way of doing things made me quite unhappy. She always took care of the children in her own way and didn't listen to us at all. For example, we insist on breastfeeding our children, but my mother-in-law blindly exemplifies the benefits of infant formula. We think that children should spend more time in the sun to supplement vitamins, but my mother-in-law always wraps her children tightly.
I argued with my mother-in-law several times, but she always nagged me back. Looking at my mother-in-law's self-righteous appearance, I couldn't get angry. Zhang Wei didn't know what to do, so he could only watch from the wall. Gradually, the differences between me and my mother-in-law grew.
One day, my mother-in-law suddenly said to me, "Yuxin, I'm here to help you take care of the children, and you can't do housework anymore." The two of you will reimburse me for all my expenses, including food, lodging, and miscellaneous expenses. "
When I heard this, I was speechless. Since her mother-in-law came, she has not done any housework except for taking care of the children. I thought it was because she was old and a little overwhelmed, so she had been quietly doing other housework. Unexpectedly, she made such an unreasonable request!
That night, I tossed and turned and couldn't sleep. I began to wonder if I had really done something wrong to annoy my mother-in-law, but when I think back to what I did, I can't think of anything I did wrong. I'm just blindly respecting and understanding my mother-in-law!
"You don't have anything for the elderly to eat at home, so it's more convenient for me to eat outside. You will reimburse me for the daily meal. The mother-in-law said confidently.
I was dumbfounded. Why does my mother-in-law want us to reimburse her for her meals, so why do she want us to reimburse her for meals? Coupled with her previous requests for not doing housework and asking for reimbursement for other expenses, I am really angry and aggrieved.
I finally couldn't take it anymore and started arguing with my mother-in-law. The mother-in-law did not show weakness, and the relationship between the two parties fell to a freezing point. Zhang Wei wanted to mediate on the sidelines, but he couldn't do anything. The contradictions between us have intensified to the point where they cannot be reconciled.
My mother-in-law made a series of unreasonable demands one after another, which completely angered me. One day, she actually said to me that she wanted us to give her a few thousand dollars of pocket money every month!
"You are salaried people, I am old and have no income, you should subsidize some of my living expenses. The mother-in-law said confidently.
I was so angry that I was trembling, and I almost wanted to list all the unreasonable things she had done in one breath and teach her a hard lesson. However, after thinking about it, she is my mother-in-law and my elder after all, and I shouldn't be so out of proportion.
So, I took a deep breath, tried to calm myself down, and then said, "Mother-in-law, what you said is too much! You are obviously here to help us take care of the children, how can you ask us for these things again and again? You are really excessive!"
The mother-in-law was not moved at all, but retorted with confidence: "I am the elder of your family, and you young people should take care of me, an old man." Besides, I'm really helping you with your children, as it should be. "
I finally couldn't hold back the anger in my heart, so I quarreled with my mother-in-law. I poured out a thousand words and resentments in my heart, and severely reprimanded my mother-in-law for being selfish and vexatious.
"Mother-in-law, you are so selfish! You came to my house to help us take care of our children, but you always blindly ask for it, and you don't care about our feelings at all. Not only do you not help with the housework, but you also want us to reimburse you for all your expenses, isn't that too much?"
"You keep saying you're here to help, but what you're doing doesn't make any sense! Are you here to help, or are you here to take advantage of us? You're so disappointed!"
I said bitterly, tears coming out of my eyes. But my mother-in-law did not show weakness and still refuted me with confidence.
"You are too young, how do you know what it means to respect the old and love the young? At my age, you young people should be more considerate of me and give me some convenience. Besides, I'm really helping you with your children, as it should be. "
"You young people are just too ignorant, you only know how to care, and you don't know how to respect your elders at all. If I hadn't been here, how could you two young people have taken care of your children?"
I was so angry that I couldn't speak, I could only stare dryly. Seeing this, Zhang Wei hurriedly stepped forward to persuade him, but he was also scolded back by his mother-in-law. In this way, we had a big quarrel with each other, and no one could convince anyone.
Just when we were arguing fiercely, Zhang Wei came back from work at work. Seeing such a mess at home, he hurriedly stepped forward to persuade him.
"Yuxin, Mom, you two calm down! Zhang Wei shouted at us.
I was about to get angry again, but I was stopped by Zhang Wei's look. I had no choice but to hold back my anger and listen to Zhang Wei finish speaking.
"Mom, some of what Yu Xin said makes sense. You're here to help us with the kids, but you can't always ask for these things. After all, we are still young and the economic conditions are not very good. "
Zhang Wei looked at his mother-in-law and said sincerely. Then, he turned to me and said earnestly, "Yuxin, Mom is our elder after all, and you can't talk to her like this." Although Mom has some excesses, her intentions are good, to lighten our burden. "
At this moment, the mother-in-law also spoke, her tone was much softer than before, and she seemed to realize her mistake.
"Yuxin, I did overdo it before. I had good intentions to lighten your burden, but I went to extremes. I should be more considerate of the difficulties of your young people, instead of blindly asking for them. "
In this way, under Zhang Wei's persuasion, I gradually calmed down and began to reflect on my mistakes. I decided to change my attitude and respect and tolerate my mother-in-law.
After calming down this time, I finally understood my mother-in-law's original intention. The reason why she made those excessive demands was actually out of good intentions, and she wanted to do what she could to lighten our burden.
"Yuxin, you two are young people, I was afraid that you wouldn't be able to take care of the children, so I took the initiative to ask for help. But I don't want to burden you too much, that's why I make those requests. The mother-in-law explained, "I'm too stubborn, and I always think about what I do, and I don't think much about your feelings. "
I looked at my mother-in-law's sincere eyes, and my heart felt sour. It turned out that my mother-in-law was out of love for us! She was afraid that we would not be able to take care of us, so she tried everything possible to lighten our burden. It's just that her way of doing it is a little too much, which makes me have a lot of misunderstandings.
I suddenly realized that I had been too withdrawn and short-sighted. I just saw some excesses in my mother-in-law's behavior, and ignored her original intention. I should look at this with a more inclusive and broader perspective, rather than being confined to my own narrow ideas.
After this explanation, me, Zhang Wei and my mother-in-law finally reached a consensus to be considerate and tolerant of each other. My mother-in-law sincerely apologized to us, admitting that she had indeed gone too far; I also sincerely thanked my mother-in-law for her kindness and promised to try my best to consider her in the future.
"Yuxin, in the future, I will change my stubbornness and listen to your young people's opinions. You also have to bear with me as an old woman. The mother-in-law said, with a warm smile on her face.
I nodded again and again, feeling that a heavy burden had finally been lifted from my heart. From now on, I will look at my mother-in-law with a more tolerant and broader mind, and be considerate of her kindness, rather than being confined to my own narrow ideas.
Zhang Wei also echoed on the side, and said jokingly: "That's good, let's live happily with him in the future, don't quarrel anymore." "
Since then, the three of us have seen a 180-degree shift in the way we get along. My mother-in-law stopped making those excessive demands, and we stopped pointing fingers at her. Instead, we have all learned to be considerate and tolerant of each other.
My mother-in-law is still helping us with the children, but her way of doing so has changed a lot. She no longer rests on her laurels, but often listens to Zhang Wei's opinions with an open mind, and the three of us discuss all the big and small things about the child. With our involvement, the mother-in-law's approach has become more relevant to the actual needs of the children.
I no longer care about my mother-in-law's behavior, but I have learned to be tolerant and tolerant. My mother-in-law still occasionally has some overly traditional practices, but I try to be considerate of her instead of blindly blaming. Once, my mother-in-law put on a heavy padded jacket for the child, and although I was very helpless, I didn't say anything to my face.
In this way, the three of us finally regained the days of living in harmony. The family of three is happy, and the children grow up happily in this peaceful atmosphere. I often look at the child's innocent smiling face, and I will thank my mother-in-law for her persistence at the beginning. It is her arrival that makes our lives more warm.
This incident has taught me a lot of lessons and inspirations. I realized that the root cause of family conflicts often lies in a lack of mutual understanding and tolerance. People of different ages have their own set of concepts and lifestyles, which will inevitably lead to generation gaps and estrangements. However, as long as we are more tolerant and broad-minded to understand each other, we will definitely be able to eliminate the estrangement and regain harmony.
The reason why my mother-in-law makes those excessive demands is actually out of concern for us. It's just that her way of doing it too much has made me misunderstood. If I had put myself in her shoes instead of being limited to my own narrow ideas, I wouldn't have had that kind of argument.
I also realized that family members should treat each other with love and not worry too much. Although my mother-in-law has some excesses, she is really kind to us. We young people should also learn to be magnanimous and tolerant of some of the little faults of our elders. Only by treating it with love can the family be peaceful and happy.
I learned a lot from this. I have learned to look at things from a broader perspective, and I have learned to be tolerant and considerate of others. It will be an asset that I will use for the rest of my life. With this lesson, I believe that in the future, I will get along with my mother-in-law more harmoniously, and our family will definitely be more harmonious.
In short, through this experience, I not only strengthened my relationship with my mother-in-law, but more importantly, my heart was sublimated. I look forward to living a happy life with my family in the years to come.