"Internet moms and dads are trying to put together a broken strange little broken child. ”
"Was I a slut in my last life?"
"I'm a rat in the gutter, peering into other people's happiness in dark corners. ”
Douyin bloggers Lao Pan and his wife posted a video of "Parents Take Their Daughter to the Supermarket", which received 3.1 million likes, and the comment area was full of sad messages.
● Source: Douyin blogger shares daily life with his daughter
Lao Pan and his wife opened an account in September last year, and usually posted some videos of their concern for their daughter to convey happiness to their children.
In the videos posted, sometimes I help my daughter catch up with her winter vacation homework, and sometimes take her daughter to the supermarket. The video is simple but warm, bringing more than 1 million "electronic children" to the old Pan couple.
In the comment area, the electronic children called their parents "cousins" and Lao Pan and his wife "biological parents".
The comments in the comment section are diametrically opposed to the warmth presented in the video, and most of the "electronic children" are complaining about the pain caused by their original families.
These people who have had unhappy childhoods come together, who are physically disconnected from their families and who are found to be friends online.
E-Friends, E-Pets, E-Parents, E-Female/Boyfriend...... It constitutes an important element for contemporary young people to obtain virtual pleasure.
The most common question in the comment area of Lao Pan and his wife is: Is there really such a normal parent?
The "electronic children" can't believe that there really are parents in this world who are emotionally stable, do not suppress their children, and do not disappoint their fun.
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Luo Zhenyu, the founder of Get, once said: The parents of our generation are often very disappointed, you see I am 50 years old, as long as I tell them something happy, they will immediately be disappointed.
Some netizens once made a video collection of "disappointing parents", which made people's blood pressure soar and was classified as a "mammary" video.
In the video, the 14-year-old daughter prepares a table of meals for her mother, including scrambled eggs with tomatoes, stir-fried bacon with green peppers, corn bone broth, greens and shrimp, and even thoughtfully chopped grapefruit as an after-dinner fruit.
It can be seen that the little girl is very attentive to cooking this table.
As a result, my mother took out her mobile phone to record the video, and there was a burst of yin and yang weirdness: "Do I want to praise you? You give me so many dishes? How can the two of us eat now?"
The comedian said proudly to her mother on the show: "Mom, dark skin is beautiful in America, I am a beauty." ”
Mom laughed wildly: "You have been a little black girl and a clown girl since you were a child, and you have not liked your lips since you were a child, we will say that it is a pig's arch mouth, like a pig's mouth." ”
It has been said that "parents are the first bullies of their children" because they know their children's pain points and can accurately deliver nuclear weapons.
Share the joy with your parents, the joy will disappear, share the pain with them, and the pain will increase day by day.
Children with "disappointing parents" have a haze in their childhood, with no color.
The mirror topic with "unhappy parents" is "unhappy parents", and Wang Shiling's parents are the most typical representatives.
Wang Shiling once appeared on a show when she was a child, and a little girl asked her: Does your mother often give you a lot of food? I feel that you are a little fat.
Wang Shiling lowered her head, Li Xiang noticed that she was a little unhappy, so he asked her: Do you want to answer?
Seeing that Wang Shiling didn't speak, Li Xiang began to maintain: In fact, Angela is a little fat, but because she is very young, she now belongs to the period of baby, so the road ahead is still very long, don't worry, don't eat or anything because she was very thin when she was young, okay?
It not only maintains Wang Shiling's dignity, but also educates children not to blindly pursue thinness.
"Disappointing parents" always look at their children with accusations and sarcasm.
Li Xiang's eyes when he looked at Wang Shiling were in stark contrast to the "unhappy parents", Li Xiang's eyes were always full of appreciation and love, as if he was looking at his most perfect work.
This made the children who grew up in the "disappointing parents" family sour, so "I want to be Wang Shiling in the next life" has become a hot stalk under similar topics.
There are many netizens who play memes under the topic of "unhappy parents" and "unhappy parents", but they share their "unhappy parents" more in the comment area.
"I bought a dress for my birthday, and my mother said I was like a bad guy from a nightclub. ”
"I accepted my parents' mediocrity, but my parents couldn't accept my mediocrity. ”
Whether it is the envy of Wang Shiling or the more than 1 million electronic children of Lao Pan and his wife, it shows a phenomenon that many people have not enjoyed the "unconditional love" of their parents.
● Image source "Your child is not your child", Jasmine thinks that her mother only cares about grades and does not care about herself.
The popularity of "electronic parents" just shows that "lack of love" is the childhood norm for most people.
The "unconditional love" of "electronic parents" for their children makes up for the lack of love of "electronic children" and cures their unhappy childhood.
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There is also a comment that appears highly under the video related to "e-parenting": "Am I something worth it?"
Many "electronic children" will think that they are not worthy of having such good parents, and this psychology can be summed up as "unworthy".
Psychologically, if a person experiences negative experiences such as bullying, discrimination, and suppression for a long time, it is easy to cause psychological trauma.
● Source: "Your Child Is Not Your Child"
In order to resist this trauma, people tend to rationalize this behavior, and the most common way is to brainwash themselves: it is because I am not good that I go through all kinds of tribulations.
When "I'm not good" is repeatedly psychologically hinted and reinforced, "low self-esteem personality" is formed.
A person who firmly believes that "I'm not good" will find ways to prove their ideas, such as rejecting friendly friends and good jobs, and subconsciously will think that "I'm not good", so "I don't deserve it", and eventually fall into endless emotional internal friction.
The opposite emotion of "I'm not worthy" is "I'm worth it", and a mother on Douyin teaches her daughter what "I'm worthy" on the spot.
The daughter asked her mother why she wanted to spend an extra 482 yuan to buy a first-class seat, she felt that it was too much of a waste of money, and she didn't want her mother to work so hard.
"Your idea is too dangerous, you deserve a first-class seat, you deserve a first-class seat. You are also worthy of the business seat, but your parents' current ability is not worthy, but this is not your problem, this is your parents' problem.
You deserve to eat well, wear well, and use well, have you remembered?"
When she said, "Do you remember?", my mother looked at the camera with tears in her eyes, as if she was talking to her former self.
● Source: Douyin bloggers Moon and Bangbang
Perhaps, it took decades for this mother to have the courage to reconcile with her awkward self: "I am worthy of all good people and things, because I am worthy." ”
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Young people who are unable to reconcile with their original families are either mired in a "toxic parent-child relationship" and unable to be self-consistent, or they choose to fly away and cut off their relationship with their parents.
Du Sujuan, a professor at East China University of Political Science and Law, once said: "Many people think that this generation of young people is indifferent and selfish, but in fact, they have strong requirements for family affection." I expressed some understanding of them online, and they called me 'Internet Mom'. Many young people will reconstruct their family relationships in virtual relationships and non-blood relationships. ”
Contemporary young people break off their relatives in reality, but turn their heads to "look for relatives" on the Internet.
At the end of 2023, an electronic dad named "October 27th" became popular on Xiaohongshu. He claimed that the ID originated from the date of birth of his daughter, who was in high school.
He would give his daughter a "dream tapir" because he thought it was good to hear that he could eat nightmares, he would ask her for leave when she had menstrual cramps, and he would take her to a beauty salon to do blackhead removal projects.
The daughter posted a sign on the door of the room that said "Study hard, don't marry or have children, and be free to move forward", he won't feel "rebellious", and he won't comfort himself with "children, change your mind in the future." ”
His idea was: "As long as my daughter is happy".
● Source: Xiaohongshu blogger October 27
Judging from the daily life shown on "October 27", this is a single father who has a successful career, respects his children's wishes, and is patient and gentle with his children.
This image has brought him 108,000 followers, almost all of whom are women. Everyone comes from all over the world, but they all call this strange man "Dad".
"October 27th" tolerated and understood his daughter, and couldn't help but make the "electronic daughters" in the comment area suffer from pink eye and shouted: "dad traffickers return my father." ”
But this perfect electronic dad canceled his account in February this year, and the electronic daughters broke their defenses one after another, and some girls cried under the "Revelation of Finding Daddy":
"Where's my e-dad? It's my birthday, and my dad forgot, so it doesn't matter anyway. I just thought of my electronic dad, and I searched the watchlist several times and didn't see anyone?"
"The e-dad account was cancelled, and I was crazy at the time!"
"October 27th" was written off, but the electronic daughters are still there.
These young people, who used to be the true feelings of electronic fathers, have formed a number of "electronic brother and sister groups" and are active on the Internet.
Although they are plain, these electronic brothers and sisters can huddle together along the network cable to keep warm.
Despite the fanatical pursuit of electronic children, many bloggers imitating Lao Pan and his wife and the "October 27th" character have appeared on the Internet.
Eventually, "electronic parents" were mass-produced, and everyone wanted a piece of the pie.
However, the affection that the virtual world brings to oneself is always fake. Put down the phone and return to reality, the sense of emptiness and loneliness has not been reduced by half a point.
Douban has a very popular post called "Raise yourself as a daughter".
Rather than "raising yourself as a daughter", it is better to "be your own parent", you don't have to feel guilty about yourself, you just try to meet your needs.
You can't get a high salary, you can't get into a double-first-class university, and you can't become a civil servant. You can not be excellent, you just need to be happy to do what you want to do, eat what you want to eat, and live the life you want.
The love of "electronic parents" is virtual, and your love for yourself is the most real. Text/Liang Siyu