#精品长文创作季##人物故事##跨国婚恋##远嫁德国##洋女婿#
This is the 3,618th real story we have told
My name is Mu Ziyu @ Luca, and my family is in Germany, and I was born in 1994 in a rural family in Xuancheng, Anhui Province.
C. The fragmented family made me just want to escape in fear and struggle. It wasn't until I met Eric that I felt the beauty of love and affection.
After seven months of international dating, Eric and I went both ways, got married in a third country, and then settled in Germany.
However, the naked marriage and transnational marriage made my aunt, who loved me like my own daughter, full of worries, saying that I was betting on happiness and that if I lost, I would have nothing......
(The Chinese wedding that my foreign husband gave me to make-up)
Soon after I was born, my parents were going to Shanghai to work, so they fostered me to my grandmother's house. My grandparents loved me, my aunt helped me take a bath and rubbed my back, and my aunt liked me the most, telling me bedtime stories, accompanying me with my homework, and teaching me how to draw.
When I was in elementary school, there would be naughty boys who would throw snakeskins at me and push me into a well. Whenever this happens, my aunt will hold me in her arms and comfort me, telling me to study hard and grow my skills so that I can be admitted to a university in Shanghai in the future.
When I was in the fourth grade, my aunt died of illness. My parents transferred me back to a primary school close to home with slightly better teaching conditions. I didn't know how to cook when I was young, so I took turns eating at my relatives' houses.
Because my teeth are not good-looking and I still wear glasses, the boys from the new school take turns to give me nicknames: Bucktooth Girl and Four-eyed Field Chicken. This nickname accompanied me throughout my elementary school and junior high school years, and it made me feel inferior.
(Photo of elementary school at my grandmother's house)
When I was admitted to Chengli High School, my parents transferred their seafood stall and returned to their hometown from Shanghai to rent a room near my school to accompany me.
My mom was always out and about running a fish shop, and she often belittled my dad in front of people. My dad started beating my mom when he was drunk, and they often quarreled and fought in the middle of the night.
The quarrel between my parents on the eve of the college entrance examination caused me to perform abnormally in the first exam, and the several Shanghai universities I applied for were all wiped out, and I was only admitted to Jingdezhen Ceramic University in Jiangxi. The day before I went to school, my parents got into a fight again, and I used knives, and I cried all night on the train.
People who have been drenched in the rain are more willing to hold an umbrella for others. As soon as I entered the school, I became a volunteer, often going to poor rural primary schools to teach, and I won many honorary certificates because of my participation in various public welfare activities.
(Spending time with children when teaching at university)
However, my efforts still failed to improve the relationship between my parents. When other students come home from vacation, their parents will clean the room in advance, dry the bedding, and prepare a lot of delicious food. I never enjoyed all of this, and all that awaited me was the more frequent and white-hot arguments awaited my parents.
I longed for a warm and happy family, and hoped that my parents could reconcile, but they slandered each other, and they couldn't listen to my persuasion. Before their freshman year ended, their marriage came to an end.
The feeling of powerlessness made me even more reluctant to go home, and I just wanted to run away. I often shed tears in the middle of the night, writing down unspeakable fear and pain in my diary. Every time I confide in my aunt in heaven, my heart will regain the motivation to not admit defeat and move upward.
I used the money from my part-time job to go to Huangshan Hongcun to take photographs and sketch, to Xiamen, to Thailand to see exotic customs, and to chase the Northern Lights in the Arctic Ocean. The rich experience has broadened my horizons and given me greater expectations for the future.
(Let there be light in life)
After graduating from university in 2016, I applied for a job in the planning department of a medical group in Shanghai as a film and television planner. In order to improve my English, I often work part-time at various international exhibitions and participate in various English speaking activities at the Thoma Club.
In November 2019, a friend I met during the event took me to a business networking party and shared a bar and restaurant with CEIBS international students.
Friends introduce you to each other. When it was Eric's turn, she nudged me, and when I turned around, I saw a big smiling boy standing behind me. His smile was warm and pure, like the winter sun, and it warmed me all at once.
From the brief introduction, I know that Eric was born in Germany to a middle-class family in Kochi. When he was a child, his parents often said that the hope of the future was in China, which made him full of yearning for this ancient civilization.
(Me before I met Eric)
Eric University took Chinese as an elective and spent half a year as an exchange student at Qingdao Ocean University in his freshman year. After work, he takes annual leave every year to come to China, travel to Hebei, Jiangsu, Yunnan and other places to experience the folk culture of different regions.
When we broke up, Eric asked for my contact information and asked me out for the weekend. I have a crush on Eric, but there is a big difference between the two of them, which makes me a little unconfident.
Eric, however, made no secret of his love for me, saying that he liked me the first time he saw me. With the mentality of giving it a try, we dating.
On Christmas Day 2019, Eric invited me as a female companion to the "Shanghai Night" cruise party organized by the school, and he also gave me a big candy man.
("Shanghai Night" Cruise Party)
At the end of the year, Eric, who was alone in China for the Chinese New Year, invited me to go on a trip with me. We first went to Guilin, and on the second day of the Lunar New Year, we flew directly from Shanghai to Cambodia, visited the famous attractions of several major cities, and finally arrived at Westport.
There are many Chinese buildings in Westport, and many Chinese live there. The surrounding Koh Rong Saleem Island is also very beautiful, but the security is particularly bad.
Once, I was taking pictures with my phone when a young man on a motorcycle came up behind me and reached out to grab it. I shouted out and he didn't let go. Eric rushed up with the bricks, and the man was scared away.
It is said that if two people are not suitable, you will know when you go out to travel. One month of travel in Cambodia has given me a deeper understanding of Eric. We have similar interests and complementary personalities, and his kindness and courage give me a full sense of security.
(Eric took me to experience Cambodian food)
When I came back from Cambodia, I took Eric to meet his parents. They weren't optimistic about my relationship with Eric, fearing that he would leave China after graduation.
Sure enough, their fears were soon confirmed. Eric got an opportunity to go to the UK as an exchange student, and in October 2020, he insisted on going to the UK despite my objections.
I thought that with this departure, our relationship would also come to an end. Unexpectedly, after Eric arrived in the UK, he still shared everything about him with me through phone video. The short-term separation makes our relationship stronger.
Two months later, Eric invited me to Germany for Christmas, booked me a visa to visit relatives and friends, and his father issued an invitation letter and a certificate of sponsorship, and bought me a plane ticket.
(Christmas Eve dinner with Eric's parents in 2020)
In December, I flew to Germany. Eric's mother was very open-minded and kind to me. Eric's father kept his face tense all day, and he looked like no one was going to approach.
Once, when I wanted to eat fish, Eric's parents went to several supermarkets to get four fish. But when the fish was brought to the table, I lost my appetite.
Probably because of the lack of spice and the lack of scales, the whole fish had a heavy fishy smell, and I barely ate half of it, and then sandwiched the rest onto Eric's plate.
Eric asked me why I ate so little? I was worried that telling the reason in English would make his parents hear it badly and disappoint people's wishes, so I quietly told Eric in Chinese, who knew that this straight man translated my words as they were.
(Eric takes me to my uncle's birthday party)
Eric's father heard this, and said to me, "Why do you come all the way here when you can't get used to our food?"
Eric's mother hurriedly relieved him, saying that he had a good temper and became a little irritable because he couldn't travel for a long time due to the epidemic. Eric also told me that Germans are more direct, but they turn the page when they finish talking and don't hold grudges.
Perhaps to apologize, Eric's father cooked me a hot dinner, and they still ate cold and hard bread.
In order to familiarize me with the customs of Germany, Eric not only took me on tours around the area, but also often asked me to attend family gatherings.
(Eric and I are holding the marriage certificate we got in a third country)
In March 2021, I returned to China, and Eric stayed in Germany to continue looking for a job. We share each other's work and life through the Internet.
Because of the epidemic, the study and tourist visa was cancelled in China, and although Eric's study visa was valid, he could not go to China, and I could not go to Germany.
Unlike my pessimism, the optimistic Eric always thinks of a solution to a problem with a positive attitude, and he proposes that we can meet in a third country and live together, and I agreed.
My aunt was full of worries about my naked marriage, she said that I didn't have a complete family, and once I divorced my German husband, there would be no way back. My parents didn't object, they just thought that I was married so far away, and they couldn't count on me when I got old.
(Group photo in front of the world's tallest building in Dubai)
The worries of my relatives did not stop me from yearning for happiness. In October 2021, after a seven-month cross-border relationship, Eric and I set off from Shanghai and Germany respectively to Dubai.
We rented a tourist hotel, Eric rushed to cook and wash dishes, I contracted athlete's foot, he didn't dislike it, insisted on smearing me every day, he sent a lot of resumes, and took me around while waiting for news.
We stood on the world's tallest building at 828 meters to watch the sunrise, watched the sailboat floating in mid-air on the Arabian Sea, watched the China-Australia football match together, and cheered for the Chinese team.
On the soft sands of Dubai, Eric took out the diamond ring he had prepared and proposed to me, giving me the most surprising and romantic Christmas present.
(Christmas Night Romantic Proposal)
In January 2022, we had a wedding for only two people in a third-country country, Seychelles, and after getting the marriage certificate, my in-laws helped me apply for a family visa to Germany.
I had no plans to have a baby, but when I returned to Dubai, I became pregnant unexpectedly. After the pregnancy slowed down, Eric took me to Bahrain, the smallest country in the Middle East, and saw the mythical Aladdin magic lamp in the lively night market.
When the visa came down, Eric also received an offer from the Swiss company EY. On May 10th, we flew from Dubai to Germany, and I didn't speak German during pregnancy, and Eric still had to work, so we stayed at my in-laws' house temporarily.
In Germany, breakfast is milk cereal, dinner is bread and butter jam, and only lunch is hot, and the main food is potatoes and various types of noodles, followed by a vegetable salad, accompanied by fish, meat and other meat dishes. Eat rice once in a while, it's still sweet.
("Best Confinement Lady" Eric, changing Luca's diaper in between cooking)
I'm not used to eating, and I really want to eat hometown food. Eric took me to Switzerland to eat Shanghai xiaolongbao. The Chinese food at this restaurant is very authentic, and I had a full meal. When I checked out, I was taken aback.
Four xiaolongbao, a plate of fish-flavored shredded pork, a plate of boiled fish fillets, plus a can of Tsingtao beer, cost 72 Swiss yuan, equivalent to more than 500 yuan. I was distressed, and Eric paid without blinking, and comforted me by saying that if I ate happily, the money would be well spent.
On September 20, Luca was born. I stayed in the family ward of the hospital for three days. My mother-in-law brought lunch, and Eric stewed chicken soup for me with the confinement meal soup packets I bought from China.
Germans don't have the habit of confinement, and two weeks after giving birth, I was held by Erecla, walking for an hour every day to get some fresh air.
(Take Lucca to enjoy parent-child time)
Eric is a competent daddy, and he takes prenatal parenting classes to him, and he learns very seriously. After Luca was born, he made milk powder, changed diapers, and coaxed him to sleep, and took care of me meticulously.
In April 2023, my in-laws spent 800,000 euros, equivalent to 6 million yuan, to buy the house next door in full, and we finally had our own new home. When it was time to move, my in-laws and Eric's grandfather and aunt came to help.
Uncle and aunt Eric are also very friendly and often invite me to their house for dinner, and the first time we met, my uncle also gave me a red envelope of 300 euros. Gifts are exchanged, and I often cook a large table of dishes for them.
(Father-in-law cooks, mother-in-law takes care of Luca)
Every Christmas, we would go to my in-laws' house to eat German hot pot, wear Chinese red, hang Chinese knots on the Christmas tree, and even play the music of the Chinese national anthem.
Eric was in charge of earning money to support his family, and I took Luca to learn German at the same time. When you take German lessons or go out, your in-laws will help you take care of the baby.
My in-laws' house is less than 50 meters from the new house, and we often go to eat, Eric goes upstairs to work, and my mother-in-law cooks. When I was doing my German homework, my father-in-law played with Luca.
Eric is very family-oriented, and on weekends, we take Luca on a tour of the surrounding area to experience different landscapes, or take Luca to the Black Forest for hiking, swimming, surfing, and balance beam practice.
(Eric takes Luca surfing in the sea)
After getting married, Eric's humorous and funny nature was vividly displayed, he let Luca ride on his body, acted as an electric crane machine, shook for a while and shouted "insufficient balance", and put coins in the carton in front of him before he was willing to continue working;
Sometimes he is very "old-fashioned", I show him the news of a man cheating on a third party and driving his wife for more than 10 meters, and then ask him if he will also cheat in marriage? He wrinkled his brows and asked me: "You have such a good personality, why do I have to find another woman?"
At the end of 2022, the domestic epidemic situation will open up, and we can finally return to China. In February 2023, I boarded a flight back home with Luca, who had been alone for more than four months. Mom and Dad waited together at the exit to pick up the plane. Eric only came to China at the end of April because of his work.
(My dad lets Luca ride around his neck)
On May 7, the in-laws also arrived. The uncle who made the water produced the idea ordered a large table of seafood hard dishes to entertain the in-laws.
We traveled with our parents and in-laws, climbed Huangshan, watched the beautiful scenery of Yanyu Jiangnan, and the family we met for the first time got along happily and happily.
Eric accompanied his father-in-law to drink liquor and eat lobster, and gave his mother-in-law a big-name French cosmetics. He also accompanied me to see my grandparents and celebrate my grandfather's 80th birthday. The picture of my grandmother teasing Luca, an old man and a young giggling non-stop, reminded me of sweet memories of my childhood.
Eric has a soft spot for village flowing water mats and Gatling fireworks, dancing dragon lanterns, riding electric tricycles and is also a good hand, and is recognized as the most down-to-earth foreign son-in-law.
(For my grandfather's 80th birthday)
On May 23rd, in the presence of our parents, Eric and I held a grand Chinese wedding at the hotel.
I am very glad that before the age of 30, I met the love of "Xu I have a phoenix crown and a xia curtain, ten miles of red makeup, and one person for a lifetime", which fulfilled my dream of longing for a happy marriage.
Two months later, we returned to Germany. I went on to take German lessons and share the local produce with my classmates, and Eric continued his life as an office worker.
We live in the southernmost town in Germany, on the border with France and Switzerland. Eric takes the train to work in Switzerland in the morning and returns to Germany in the evening. After dinner, we took Luca for a walk in the Parc de France next door, which only took a few minutes to get out of the country.
(Eric took me to a Swiss colleague's mountain house party)
Eric often takes Luca and me on holidays, to Hannover, North Germany, to see the industrial city rebuilt after World War II, to the small town of Bremen, where you can enjoy the music.
In September 2023, we traveled to Crete, the largest island in Greece, and by the way, we visited Eric's 82-year-old and made friends.
The old man, a university professor, moved from Germany to live on this island in Greece after his wife died ten years ago, and his two children have their own lives.
On the night of the Mid-Autumn Festival, Eric and I sat on the beach of the Aegean Sea, and the rolling waves evoked my homesickness and worries about my parents' later life. I am an only child, and my in-laws only have one child, Eric, what will happen to their pension problems in the future?
(National Day with Chinese characteristics in Crete)
Eric comforted me that Germany is an aging country, the pension facilities are very perfect, my in-laws can go to the nursing home, and he will accompany me to return to China for development and provide for my parents in the future.
Eric's friend drove us around the island and on my 29th birthday, the old man invited us to dinner at the best hotel on the island and bought me a birthday cake.
Eric's birthday present to me was a bag I didn't want to buy when I visited the mall before. He bought it secretly and carried it all the way to Greece.
Eric is willing to spend money on me, but he is very "picky" with himself. When I ran out of discarded toothpaste, he picked it up and squeezed it to reuse, and he took all the leftovers from me and Luca, jokingly calling himself an "eco-friendly trash can".
(Be sure to wear Chinese red for the New Year)
He could remember every word I said inadvertently and understood my homesickness better. In the Spring Festival of 2024, he will accompany me back to Xuancheng to celebrate the reunion with my parents.
Eric put on his apron as always to help with the cooking, I was afraid that the well water would be so cold that I rushed to wash the vegetables, and every time I went out, Lukka was either in his arms or on his back. After the two-week vacation, Eric had to go back to Germany.
I heard that the pajamas and bathrobes in China are of high quality and low price, and Eric wanted to sell them to Switzerland, so before leaving, he went to his uncle's garment factory to do a field trip. Since he promised me to return to China for development in the future, he began to make relevant preparations.
While sharing my daily life in Germany online, I also recommend durable and affordable products to my relatives and friends, and I have a more detailed plan for the future.
(Family photo of us and my parents)
After Luca started kindergarten in June, I was able to have more time to learn German, and I was able to get my B1 certificate as soon as possible, complete my vocational training in Chinese and foreign trade, and gain relevant experience. When the time is ripe, he will go back to Shanghai or Taicang, Jiangsu Province to open a company with Eric and do Sino-German trade.
I booked my parents to visit their families in Germany in August, and we could be reunited in Germany just in time for the Lucca kindergarten holiday. My aunt witnessed my married life and whispered to me that she was relieved.
Some people say that a happy life requires three attitudes: to be light on the past, to pity the present, and to believe in the future. I cherish everything I have now, and I firmly believe that as long as there is starlight in my eyes and dreams in my heart, the future will definitely get better and better.
(Welcome everyone to follow my account)
[Dictation: Kiziyu]
[Editor: Jun Tao]
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