How to make children feel that they are loved? These 5 sentences should be said often (parents, please collect)

Author: The main creative group, Little Tomato

I've seen such a video:

A little girl "accuses" her parents with tears in her eyes:

"You use the best for me, you eat the best, you give me piano lessons and the best tutoring classes for me, and you don't let me worry about anything at home.

But I'm not happy at all, because I don't feel that you love me. ”

This scene touched many parents.

Have you noticed that many families obviously do not lack love, but children do not feel love, and their hearts are barren.

Someone once said:

"The most conquering weapon in the world is language, a word can make a person's mood fall to the bottom, and a word can also reinvigorate a person. ”

If you want your child to feel enveloped in love, parents may want to start by changing the way they communicate.

For example, these 5 mantras are often on the lips.

"It's okay"

I've seen a video:

The little boy accidentally spilled the watermelon juice and spilled a full glass of drink.

Seeing that the table was full of messes, Dad brought a tissue to wipe it down as soon as possible.

Looking at the little boy's uneasy eyes, the mother immediately comforted the child: "It's okay, it'll be fine soon." ”

The boy's face immediately returned to his smile.

Then, the mother gave her watermelon juice to the child, the father poured it to the mother, and the sensible boy gave some of the watermelon juice in his bowl to the father.

The family ate happily.

After seeing it, many netizens said that they broke the defense:

"Tears in my eyes, it turns out that you don't need to be blamed for doing something wrong. ”

"I remember once playing with a child, I accidentally hit my head against the wall, and the back of my head was broken, and my father who came not only did not comfort me, but blamed me first, which was really super sad......"

"When I was a child, I would be scolded by my mother when the food fell to the ground, and when I grew up, I would be so nervous that I wanted to vomit when I made a little mistake. ”

How many children dare not tell their parents when they encounter problems, and even when they grow up, they are not close to their parents, just because they are growing up without this sentence "It doesn't matter".

We often say that home is a warm harbor.

Family should be a place for people to relax and heal, not a place for people to be nervous.

When children make mistakes, they are often apprehensive, frustrated, or hesitant, and what they need is not your fuel or ridicule.

You might as well give him a hug, comfort him in time, and tell him that it's not a big deal, and if there is a problem, let's find a way to solve it together.

Your sentence of "it's okay" is not connivance, but understanding and care, which will give children a full sense of security and love.

"I understand you"

A few days ago, I saw such a scene in the hospital:

A father took a 5 or 6-year-old boy to the dentist, and the child was so scared that he not only did not cooperate, but also cried and made a fuss.

The father was very impatient, and while pulling the child, he reprimanded him:

"We usually have to go to work, and we finally find time to take you to see your teeth on the weekend, and you are not happy;

Such a big child, are you still afraid of this, is it a shame?"

I saw that the little boy's eyes were flashing with tears, and he looked loveless.

The Tanzanian writer Shabani wrote in his essay "Childhood":

"A child's sorrows may be insignificant to adults, but they are a great deal for the children themselves. ”

It's not just a raised slap that hurts.

The emotions of being ignored and denied are more hurtful than the slap that is raised.

Every child's emotions and feelings are important and parents should not ignore them.

Therefore, when a child is criticized, he warmly says, "I understand you, I must be very uncomfortable when I am criticized by the teacher, right?"

When your child doesn't like to eat a certain food, gently tell him, "You must hate the taste of it, don't force it if you don't want to eat it." ”

When your child has a toothache, tell him, "I understand your fears, you can cry for a while, but you can't lose your temper because you're afraid, think about why we're coming to see the teeth." ”

You must know that what children need is never the responsiveness of their parents, nor is it centered on them, but emotional companionship, acceptance and understanding.

"I've got your back"

A netizen talked about his experience:

When she was a child, she especially wanted to compete for the literary committee in her class, so she asked her mother's opinion.

Unexpectedly, my mother said: "You don't have any artistic cells to do that, besides, you are usually too stubborn and have a bad temper, there must be no classmates who choose you, so forget it." ”

Netizens were hit hard because of this, and they remembered this incident for a long time.

Every child stumbles into ignorance, and what children need to grow up is inspiration, encouragement, and unwavering support from their parents.

There was a boy in Brazil, Sivar, who showed a unique talent from his first encounter with weaving.

He was able to weave very beautiful pieces of wool himself.

But people's objections and ridicule gradually increased, how can a boy hold a crochet needle like a girl all day long?

These malicious gossip haunted Sival for a time and made him doubt himself.

But his mother told him: "What others think is someone else's business, if you like it, do it, I support you!"

Mother's words gave Sivalmo great courage.

He continued to work on weaving, and his craft became more and more sophisticated.

In the end, he became a small Internet celebrity, and even the TV station invited him to do a show.

Parents should give their children a feeling that his feelings and choices are important, and that no matter what he wants to do, there are parents behind him who silently support him.

A sentence of "I will always support you" will give children a sense of love and belonging, and no matter what happens, they will have the courage to ride the wind and waves.

"You're the best"

Have you heard the following words from the people around you, or have you said them to your children?

A. Dumber than a pig! You won't be able to do a question after teaching it several times!

The children of the B and xx families score 100 points in every exam, what about you?

C. Forget it, I see that you will not be productive in the future.

I believe that many parents have said similar things to their children.

It is the instinct of every child to love their parents, but children will gradually lose their ability to love themselves in the continuous denial and criticism, and they will be sad and desperate for their parents.

Do you still remember Fu Yuanhui, a girl in the wilderness?

At the 2016 Rio Olympics, she won a bronze medal, and when a reporter asked her if she had any regrets, she happily replied: "I'm already satisfied!"

There was no regret in his tone that he couldn't win the championship.

Fu Yuanhui has always had a very good competition mentality, always with a smile on her face, and she can face any setbacks in her swimming career bravely.

In a variety show, Fu Yuanhui broke the news that the three most common words her parents said to her were:

"You're the best!"

"You are the best!"

"You're a genius!"

Because of the recognition and encouragement of her parents, Fu Yuanhui grew up in love since she was a child, and these loves gave her an optimistic and tenacious character.

And those parents who like to deny their children do not know how to express their love, let alone love their children well.

In "Freud's Mission", there is this passage:

A person who is undoubtedly favored by his parents will maintain the feeling of a winner for the rest of his life, and this belief in success will lead him to continue to achieve success throughout his life.

Parents should give their children warm and powerful encouragement, because that is the confidence for them to grow upward.

"No matter what, I love you"

I remember reading a news that a boy scored 630 points in the exam, was fourth in the class, and ranked in the top 20 in his grade, but he was scolded by his parents when he went home.

Parents feel that the boy does not study hard enough, and it will be better if he works hard.

The boy was particularly aggrieved, and after a big quarrel with his parents, he ran away from home, squatting on the side of the road and crying bitterly.

One can imagine how aggrieved and sad this boy was in his heart.

In his heart, he must feel that grades are the only criterion for his parents to love him, and if the grades are good, love will come, and if the grades are bad, love will disappear.

In contrast, a father's speech at the parent-teacher meeting in Changsha touched tens of millions of people.

The father said that his son did not get good grades and had no experience to share in his studies.

But he wanted to take this opportunity to tell his son: "No matter how well you do in school, I will always love you and will always be your strongest backing." ”

He also affirmed his son's merits: "Although his academic performance is not good, he is impeccable in dealing with people and things. ”

Finally, the father said that poor academic performance does not mean poor character, low test scores do not mean low ability, good grades will go far away, bad grades will be happy.

The father's speech won bursts of applause from the audience.

Presumably, when the son hears his father's words, his heart will definitely flow into a warm current.

Being excellent should not be the reason why a child is loved, but the result of being loved.

So we need to firmly tell our children, "No matter what, I love you." ”

This will let the child know that we love him as a person, regardless of whether he is good or not, and will not love him because of a test result, nor will we love him more because of good grades.

When a child understands that the love of his parents is unconditional, he will have the confidence and courage to face a complex future.

Writer Deborah Tanner once said:

"A good family of origin should not only create the world for the child to live in, but also tell the child how the world should be warmly interpreted. ”

The most important thing children need to know is that they are important to their parents and will always be surrounded by love.

This is the strongest backing for children, their courage and motivation to explore the world, and the confidence for them to get up and move forward even if they encounter setbacks.

Light up "watching", and hope that parents will support their children with love, so that every child can grow up to the sun and be rich for a lifetime.