Wen \ Mu Xin, Jiang Zuo Mei Niang
The answer is actually very simple, in the final analysis, because they are bound by the passive concept of love, and they often adhere to the "weak" mentality.
In the book "Women Who Know the Game Are the Happiest", the author Wu Yurong brings together countless real cases of women who miss the opportunity to be happy due to passive waiting, and teaches you how to "change your life against the sky" and make your love marriage "turn losses into profits".
Observing the mistakes of others and reflecting on them is an extremely valuable lesson for those of us who have not yet completely lost our way.
In fact, there are really many such passive concepts in the hearts of many of our women, and most of our love for men is "waiting, relying on, and demanding"! But if we can avoid these three kinds of weak thinking, we will be able to grasp the initiative in love and marriage.
As long as people are truly enlightened, their lives will really change a lot.
So today, we will use this book "Women Who Know Gambling Are the Happiest" to count the three weak thinking and give you a reminder.
01 Always want to be a man, but stick to assist men, and in the end, it is likely that both people and money will be empty
This year, Ma Nuo, who once threatened to cry in a BMW, now sits in the BMW he bought and complains: He posted 1.6 million to a man upside down, but he was not treated well.
Less than a year after Ma Nuo and Mr. Liu got married, they sold their house to pay off the debts he owed each other before marriage. After paying off the debt, Mano's house payment was only 270,000.
This money is only the tip of the iceberg, Ma Nuo bore most of the family expenses after marriage, and transferred a total of more than 1.6 million yuan to Mr. Liu.
looked at the once shrewd girl, who was posted like this in her marriage, but what she got was domestic violence by her husband 7 times in half a year, her child was beaten and miscarried, and she was threatened and slandered. Angry Mano, complained on the Internet that he had met a scumbag.
Among the women who are upside down, there are very few who have a good death. Keiko, the best friend of the author of "The Happiest Women Who Know Gameplay", is a smart girl who finds that she may post upside down and immediately stops her losses.
When Keiko yelled at her boyfriend to pay a down payment of 300,000 yuan and asked her to pay for renovation and buy a car, she realized that if she continued the relationship, she would only have to post it upside down.
She rejected her boyfriend who was waiting to get married on the spot: "Such a calculated marriage is destined to have no happy ending, don't delay each other anymore." ”
It is conceivable that if Keiko reverses the money to renovate and buy a car, will the man stop there and treat her well? You know, after people's greed is propped up, it cannot be recovered.
Therefore, the author repeatedly reaffirmed to his female compatriots: "Women must understand that there is at least one more point in the final calculation, such as the half of the name on the real estate certificate." But the result of 'upside down' may be both people and money!"
Calculation here is not a derogatory term, but a strategy of self-preservation, so that you will not be deceived by the other party's rhetoric, lose your mind, and stick money and things.
In the end, it ended up being nameless on the real estate certificate, and after being squeezed out and used up, both people and money ended up.
If Mano had half of Keiko's sobriety, he would not have put more than a million into it, and he would have strengthened the malice in the other party's human nature.
Some people say, is it true that he is so utilitarian before he gets married, and he can't support his husband after he gets married? Of course not! It's just that before marriage, let a man pay a little more, that is to increase his sunk cost, and it should be! After marriage, there must be a degree and boundary to support your husband!
In essence, she still puts herself in the position of obedience, thinking that she is a virtuous woman who achieves a man and assists a man upside down, and when her husband is developed, she is a woman who can finally enjoy her husband's blessings!
But are men all reliable? It's really hard to say, so instead of having no money and no money, it's better to invest in yourself!
02 When your husband betrays, you "fight evil with evil" and punish him with "betrayal".
I often see men cheating, but it is the woman who loses her mind first. The book "Women Who Know Gambling Are the Happiest" tells an example of a talk show:
In a family, after the man cheats, the wife is noisy and noisy in order to let the man return to the family, and the toss does not make the man retract.
The angry wife decided to fight poison with poison, and she also cheated on herself to make the man experience the same pain. It's easy for a woman to want to cheat, and soon, the scandal between her and a male colleague in the company spreads.
But the husband did not empathize, and the only remaining guilt disappeared, and he resolutely filed for divorce. What the wife didn't expect was that the relatives and friends around her actually helped her husband speak.
She couldn't get angry: "Why can't he cheat, and I can't be forgiven if I cheat?"
This is the unwritten reality, public opinion always implements two sets of standards for men to cheat and women to cheat. Men can be forgiven for cheating, but women have to be looked at with colored glasses.
This wife could have relied on the man's guilt, the peace of relatives and friends, and the community of interests that the two have intertwined for many years, to make the man change his mind.
But she lost control first, put herself on the opposite side of public order and good customs, and also pushed this marriage into a desperate situation, and personally gave the junior a chance to take the position.
"The Happiest Women Who Know How to Game" wrote:
"No woman can really tolerate her husband's affair, and on the surface, keeping the wind and rain unfazed is just a competitive strategy for the "little three", and it is a trick to save the marriage. ”
I deeply agree that as long as a woman adheres to the attitude of wanting a man to return after learning that a man is cheating, she cannot mess with herself and lose control first.
The rational approach is to remain forbearant and calm, observe the man's intentions for extramarital affairs, and how likely he is to return to the family, and then apply the right spell to achieve the desired result.
If you use "violence to counter violence" and "evil to fight evil", this is really the kind of weak thinking of the bottom people who "die and the net is broken", and the final outcome is most likely that the man will not forgive you, and you have also lost the "moral high ground" to check and balance him! In the end, the reality may really be: it is very unfavorable to you!
03 Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have contradictions, and expect the man to stand on your side and confront his parents
In the popular TV series "Little Days", Zhu Jincao is fair and just enough in dealing with the conflict between his mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but at the critical moment, it can still be seen that he is more towards his own mother.
For example, the mother-in-law went through her daughter-in-law's Jasmine's bag privately, searched for the invoice for the young couple to open a house, and found Jasmine to make trouble.
Obviously, it was her mother-in-law who was unreasonable first, but Zhu Jincao was selectively blind and pointed the finger at the innocent Jasmine.
What's even more excessive is that the mother-in-law suspected that Jasmine gave her a fake bag, and in front of Jasmine's parents, she directly threw the bag into the fish soup.
At this time, Zhu Jincao did not see Jasmine's anxious explanation, but once again empathized with her mother's suffering and accused Jasmine of going too far.
Although it was proved that Jasmine was not lying in the end, Zhu Jincao's headless attitude had already made Jasmine's heart begin to cool.
In the book "The Happiest Women Who Know the Game", the originator of the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is mentioned again, the drama "Double-sided Tape", Yaping's performance in protecting his mother is more obvious, no matter what his mother does, Yaping always defends him unconditionally. For the sake of his mother, he almost strangled Lijuan to death.
The TV series is the finale of reconciliation, but the prototype is that the man protected his mother and killed his wife.
In the book, the author hits the nail on the head at the root of the problem: marriage and blood are incomparable. Marriage is fragile, while blood ties are unconditional.
Countless realities have confirmed that when there is a conflict between a daughter-in-law and a blood mother, many men will automatically choose the latter.
Just because, a man's first identity must be a son first, and then whose husband is it. Deep down, he has already set his own role, which cannot be changed.
Therefore, when women encounter conflicts between their mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, they should solve it by themselves, and there is no need to involve their husbands. The result of pulling in will only double your depression.
A really smart woman will never regard love more than family affection, because she clearly knows that in a man's heart, "the wife can be changed, but the old lady can't!"
So she won't compete with her mother-in-law for favor, she knows more clearly that if a man really stands on her side and supports her, it may not be able to prove how much he loves her, but he is more selfish, or more tactful.
For example, this man may deliberately stand on her side against her mother in order to please her, but this is only temporary, but when a man really does this, don't you think it is terrible? Because he can do this to his own mother, when he turns his face with you, which onion are you? So, this kind of selfish and sleek man, do you dare to marry?
Therefore, ideally, women hope that men can stand in line with themselves and fight against their mothers, but smart women will only try to keep a bowl of water away from their mother-in-law, and will not put their husbands in a dilemma.
04. Mei Niang said
After going through countless emotional storms, we will finally understand that while it is okay to act under the aura of morality, if we lack wisdom in life, we will also fall into the abyss of misfortune.
"The Happiest Women Who Know Gambling Are the Happiest" is not only a book, but also a beacon that guides us to find an exit in the fog of feelings. It tells how we women can break out of the framework of traditional thinking and adopt more flexible strategies to win in the emotional chess game.
What the book advocates is not a simple technique or trick, but a kind of innovation in thinking, an attitude of self-perseverance and positive change in the face of challenges.
By accurately grasping the complexity of human nature, it allows us to better grasp the initiative of emotions, so as to lead us to the other side of love, marriage and happiness.
The biggest gain from reading this book is that when we encounter challenges, we no longer act blindly, but learn to dig deep into the roots, use wisdom to resolve difficulties, and make life shine with new brilliance.
I hope that every woman who reads this book can find her own strength in the book, light the lamp in her life, and welcome a bright life!
Women can't be too simple Be a smart woman who understands gambling and is sociable Enhance wisdom and strategic thinkingYS ¥39.9 Buy