In a previous article, "Mastering the 3 Typical Differences between Men and Women's Thinking", we took you to an in-depth understanding of the significant differences in the thinking of men and women:
Most men have a single linear thinking and emphasize rational statements, while women mostly have divergent thinking and emphasize emotional communication.
When faced with problems, men habitually heroize themselves and are reluctant to show their vulnerability easily, while women are more inclined to see themselves as potential victims and do not mind showing their weak side.
As a result, men need space and solitude when they encounter stress and frustration, while women need to confide and be accompanied.
If you are not clear enough about these points, you are welcome to review that article to deepen your understanding.
So, today we will explore how to think like a man, fall in love with a man with a man's thinking, so as to easily grasp him.
1. Express it bluntly
Another visitor of mine told me about an experience when it was raining heavily outside at work one day, and she wanted her husband to pick her up.
So she sent a message to her husband: It's raining so hard that she can't get a taxi! As a result, her husband replied to her with four words: pay attention to safety.
She felt that the attitude of men before falling in love and after marriage was completely different, both lost, aggrieved and angry.
In fact, this is a typical difference in thinking between men and women.
She thought she had made it clear, but in reality, men were straight-line thinkers, and they could only understand the literal meaning, not the meaning of the implication.
If she had spoken straight and not beat around the bush, but adopted a male straight-line thinking and told her husband directly: "I hope you can come and pick me up", then the result could be completely different.
There are many more examples of this in life, such as the more common ones: "Do you know what day tomorrow is?", "Do you know why I'm angry?" and so on.
If the boy is lucky enough to answer correctly, the girl will feel that the boy loves him and takes himself to heart, so she will feel satisfied.
However, if the boy can't answer, the girl will feel that the boy doesn't understand her at all, which will lead to an argument.
Guessing once in a while can boost the relationship between two people, but if you have to guess everything, it's really tiring. I'm a counselor, and I've been with my wife for a long time, but she asked me to guess, and I couldn't guess.
So when you want a man to do something for you, you might as well be straight to the point.
Of course, you can also give hints, such as: "The weekend is our wedding anniversary, how about going to the beach together?"
Or, "I'm angry because you didn't try to coax me." Such an expression is both direct and cute, but also full of frankness and atmospheric feeling, which makes it difficult for men to refuse.
2. Don't be emotional, stay rational
In counseling, I found that most women tend to express their emotions more than logic when communicating with men.
As we said earlier, women tend to think divergently, and their thinking is very jumpy.
Some girls, when they think alone, are quite rational, have a very clear mind, and understand all the truth, but once the man fails to meet her expectations, she is particularly easy to speak emotionally, often insincerely.
If we can be as rational as men and learn to communicate with men in the way men communicate, then it will be easier for us to get what we want.
You can say something like this, "Honey, you know I like career-minded men, and you really are my type. But what I care more about is that you don't care about me, can you do what you say.
You promised to buy me a gift but didn't do it, and to be honest I'm a little disappointed.
I hope that in the future, you will either not say it, but you must do it, so that I will be happier, and when I am happy, you will be happy, right?"
Expressing to him in such a concise, clear and rational way not only makes the man understand your bottom line and expectations, but also makes him see that you are different from other women, and he will look up to you because of this.
3. Problem-solving, result-oriented
When faced with problems, many of us girls tend to pay too much attention to feelings and ignore the solution of problems. Often quarrels over trivial things, and angry over men's perfunctory apologies.
Women usually pay more attention to emotions and feelings when dealing with problems. We crave to be understood, and we want the other person to feel our loss and dissatisfaction.
Men, on the other hand, tend to be more results-oriented when faced with problems. They focus on how to solve problems quickly, rather than delving into the root cause of the problem.
When you're angry, he probably doesn't want to understand why, or to dwell on love and dislove, and he doesn't want to go over old accounts endlessly. He prefers to admit his mistakes directly so that the dispute can be settled quickly.
So, how do you balance these two very different approaches?
The answer is to learn from men and focus more on action and results. When you're feeling unhappy, try to divert your focus and do something that makes you happy.
Buying yourself a dress, buying yourself a bouquet of flowers, or throwing your child to him and going to a movie, are all good options.
When we learn to replace meaningless internal friction with concrete actions, life will become simpler and better.
There are so many joys waiting to be discovered in this vast world.
Love is only a part of life, not the whole story.
And remember, arguing often doesn't solve the problem, what we need is calm communication and practical action.