A few days ago, several relatives who were relatively close to each other simply got together for a meal.
After the meal, grandma made a video with her 7-year-old niece who was far away, and grandma complained: "If you don't come back, I'm lonely." ”
Unexpectedly, Haohao, the son of the cousin on the side, was also a little unhappy, and asked his grandmother: "What about me?"
Grandma and cousin looked at each other, and then the little niece shouted:
"Isn't it Haohao? You're also beside you, my grandmother asked me to bring you Transformers when I go back during winter vacation, but unfortunately I can't go back this year, so I'll bring you next time." ”
I have to sigh with emotion, the little niece, who has a high emotional intelligence, actually saved the extremely embarrassing scene with a sentence, and at the same time comforted the two people, no one can be offended, so that I, an adult, am willing to bow down.
It is no wonder that a study at Harvard University once showed: "20% of a person's success depends on IQ, and the remaining 80% depends on emotional intelligence." ”
Now it seems that this is indeed the case, even if a child has a superior IQ, but lacks emotional intelligence, insufficient social skills, boring and boring speech, I am afraid that he will not be able to cope with emergencies, and it will be complicated.
On the contrary, if a child has a high emotional intelligence and strong expression and thinking skills, then he can easily resolve the difficult things in front of him and is more likely to gain the favor of others.
Therefore, if parents want to cultivate excellent and high emotional intelligence children, they must pay attention to these 5 aspects of cultivating children.
Children know how to speak well and make people comfortable
Cai Kangyong wrote in "The Way of Speaking":
"The more you can talk, the happier others will be, and the happier they are, the more they will like you, and the more they like you, the more help you will get, and the happier you will be. ”
I think so.
The so-called high emotional intelligence is to know how to speak well.
still remembers a variety show, actor Yang Zishan took his goddaughter to make dumplings at home to play.
When eating french fries, Dumplings praised his godmother "I feel so beautiful";
At the same time, he will also praise his godfather Wu Zhongtian's cooking skills, and his cooking is particularly delicious.
Even when her godfather deliberately "snatched" her snacks, she could say generously: "It's okay!"
And although the dumplings are young, they know how to take care of their younger brothers, and even the observers in front of the screen can't help but praise the dumplings' emotional intelligence is too high.
Anyone can speak, but if they can speak, it is a university question.
Children who know how to speak well can feel the gentle and encouraging power of gentle and drizzly in their words.
Children who don't know how to speak well have no mouth to cover, poke at people's sore spots, and make people want to retreat.
Every parent should let their children learn to speak well, learn to praise and praise others, so that people can never get tired of being together for a long time and be happy.
Children have a sense of humor and are more competitive
The English writer Oscar Wilde said, "A good-looking skin is the same, and an interesting soul is one in a thousand." ”
In Huang Bo's body, there is such an "interesting soul" hidden.
At an interview meeting, Yan Ni said to Huang Bo: "The male stars I worked with before were all handsome guys, and when I played husband and wife with you, I knew that I was going to go to the ranks of ugly stars." ”
Huang Bo immediately said: "Then I'll play with you, and I'm going to go to the ranks of handsome guys." ”
Just the right amount of humor, defusing their embarrassment, and praising each other.
Who wouldn't like someone with such high emotional intelligence?
Although the appearance is pleasing to the eye, the "sense of humor" is the greatest embodiment of a person's personality charm, and it is precisely because of this that Huang Bo's star journey can become more and more spacious.
At the same time, people with a sense of humor are also more competitive.
I once read a report that NASA recruits Martian astronauts, and there is a special requirement - to be humorous and funny.
It turns out that research has shown that any mission to Mars requires a "humorous" or "class clown" character to be successful.
And the role of these humorous astronauts should not be underestimated, they have the responsibility of inspiring the team, maintaining morale, and bringing people together.
So, having a sense of humor is an advanced social skill that is especially popular wherever you go.
Children can not be handsome, not beautiful, but not not humorous, as parents must cultivate children's sense of humor from an early age.
The child is empathetic and socially competent
still remembers the variety show "Think of a Way, Dad" I watched before, and Qi Wei's daughter Lucky's performance was very impressive.
When Lucky saw his friend John spill all the table tennis balls in the toy store, he couldn't help but cry, and Lucky took the initiative to help John pick up the balls;
Even when there is a conflict with a child, Lucky can have the courage to admit his mistake and apologize to the other party;
and acted as a "peacemaker" to resolve the disputes between the other two friends, so that the last few children were reconciled as before.
Even netizens in the comment area couldn't help but boast: "Lucky's emotional intelligence is too high and he is very empathetic." ”
Yes, children with empathy can put themselves in the shoes of others to perceive and understand the feelings of others, and better resolve conflict situations.
A child who knows how to empathize can understand the wisdom of "do unto others as you would have them do unto you".
If your child, in the process of getting along with his peers, knows how to take care of other people's feelings and control the balance of getting along.
Then, in the future, when facing various social situations, they will also have more calmness and leadership than other children.
Children have strong self-emotional management skills
The so-called high emotional intelligence is to be able to recognize one's own emotions, and the other is to be able to manage one's emotions well.
A friend told me about an incident in the mall, where I met a lost boy, who was about 6 or 7 years old.
Because I couldn't find my mother, I was a little anxious, and my eyes were filled with tears. But the boy still didn't cry, and calmly told his friends the cause and effect of the loss and the contact information of his parents.
In the end, I was able to contact the little boy's mother, and when the mother saw the child's strong appearance, the mother asked, "You didn't cry, why are you so good?"
The boy choked up and said, "Mom, you used to tell me that when you want to cry, when you are afraid, you can take a few deep breaths first, so that you will not be afraid." ”
I can't help but sigh that the boy knows how to regulate his negative emotions very well.
He was keenly aware of his fears, insecurities, and fears, and put them aside to solve the pressing problem of being separated from his mother at the moment.
Emotional management ability can be said to be the core manifestation of a child's high emotional intelligence.
When children know how to self-regulate their emotions, they will not lose control of their emotions because they are too impulsive.
And children who can manage their emotions well when they are young will naturally be able to control their lives when they grow up.
Children are optimistic and not easily defeated by setbacks
Children with high emotional intelligence also have one of the most obvious characteristics, that is, they can maintain a humble learning heart when they are at a high place, and they can also resist when they are headwinded, and fight back when they fall to the bottom.
Strong at heart and always with a positive attitude.
A young boy named Ling, on the last day of the kindergarten graduation ceremony, mustered up the courage to challenge the 10-dan jump box that he had been failing.
The cumulative height of the 10-stage box jump is half a body higher than others, and repeated attempts and repeated failures.
The hard work paid off, and with the help of running again, Ling attacked the 10-stage jump box, and the audience applauded.
Ling's ability to adjust his mentality in the face of setbacks, turn sadness into strength, and face difficulties deeply highlights the tenacity of children with high emotional intelligence.
When facing difficulties, children with low emotional intelligence are easy to fall into a languishing dilemma because they lack the ability to cope and adjust, and do not know how to deal with their mentality.
As parents, we must continue to cultivate children's emotional cognition and do a good job in mentality management at the most critical stage of children's personality formation, so that children have the courage to face the unknown ups and downs of life.
Daniel Gorman, the "father of emotional intelligence", once said, "A person with a high IQ may not succeed in his career, but a person with a high IQ will be able to perform extraordinarily." ”
Because children with high emotional intelligence have good personalities, good popularity, and are more popular, even in the face of failure, they have a stronger ability to heal themselves.
Compared with IQ, emotional intelligence can really determine the height of a child's life.
When the child was young, he had low emotional intelligence, which may be said to be childish and ignorant.
When he grows up, if he feels uncomfortable with others, others will quietly stay away from him.
Therefore, when the child is still young, parents have an unshirkable responsibility to educate, and parents should set an example to become their children's emotional intelligence coach.
If parents always talk to others in a complaining and sarcastic tone, then the child will also learn to be indifferent and mean;
If parents complain and lose their temper at will, then the child will also become irritable and have difficulty controlling his emotions.
However, if parents can teach their children to understand, tolerate, and empathize, then the child's world will be full of kindness in words and tolerance in behavior, and they will be able to grow into a positive and emotionally intelligent child.
IQ determines the lower limit of a child, and EQ determines the upper limit of a child.
I hope that every parent can be the best emotional intelligence teacher for their children, and never let the emotional intelligence class that their children lose when they are young become a social crisis when they grow up.