#我来唠家常#大家好, I am Sister Dimples, a 40-year-old working mother of her second child.
What do you call your child?
It is estimated that most parents call their children by their first names (except for surnames), or by nicknames (or milk names), such as Xuanxuan, Jiaze, and Ziqi;
There are also parents who love their babies more and call their children babies and babies directly;
There is also a kind of daughters and sons who are called that.
Our family is the first kind, what about you?
At first, I didn't care about the name of the child, I thought it was just like the name, it was a code name~ until I heard such a story later, which completely changed my opinion on the name of the child.
It turns out that changing the name can really change the fate of children!
02
A teacher at a private school asked a 10-year-old boy in the class at a class meeting: What is your dream?
The boy said at first that I had no ideals, but then he stopped and said, "I used to have ideals, but now I don't."
The teacher asked him, "Where is your original ideal?" and what is it?
The boy lowered his head in embarrassment and whispered, "I want to be the chairman."
When the teacher heard this, he did not ridicule and deny him, but echoed him: How good this ideal is, how great it is, how great it is. Then you don't have an ideal now, have you achieved it?
The boy didn't raise his head and said, "No." Because my mom said, I'm not bullshit, what else do you want to be the chairman?!
After listening to this, the teacher made a decision.
He told the boy that from now on, you will be the president of our class, and this class will be in your charge, and you have the final say.
The child's surname is Li, and the teacher clicked and shook his hand: Hello, Chairman Li.
And guess what?
The child's face was frightened and suspicious, and he was a little overwhelmed.
However, that night, the other classmates fell asleep, and the child volunteered to stay and help the teacher arrange the next day's venue.
Seeing this, the other teachers asked him: Why didn't you go back to sleep?
He said, I am the president of our class and I want to serve the whole class.
What does this mean?
What kind of identity you give your child, what kind of behavior he will have.
Identity is very important!
03
When many parents hear their children say that their ideal when they grow up is to be a boss, an entrepreneur, a scientist or something, what is their first reaction?
"I'm telling you, if you want to be a boss, you have to study hard and get into a good university. If you don't study hard, how will you be a boss in the future? Being a boss is not something that anyone can do, it is very demanding, you must have a degree of education, and you have to work hard to ······."
Would you say that to your child?
To tell you the truth, Sister Dimple also taught her children like this at the beginning.
But what will the child think?
"It's so hard to be a boss, so forget it. ”
In fact, behind this answer, many parents do not believe that their children will become entrepreneurs and scientists.
But in order to protect the child's self-esteem, he will say the above words bitterly.
But, first, the goal of going to university is a bit far away, and it is too difficult to become an entrepreneur, so children will be afraid of difficulties, forget it, I'd better give up~ It's easier to lie down.
In fact, for a growing child, we must first make him feel that it is very easy to realize his ideals: as long as I do it, I can realize it, so that he can have the desire and courage to realize his ideals.
Once a person walks, he solves a lot of problems.
It doesn't matter if a child ends up being a boss or not becoming an entrepreneur.
He is now acting according to his own ideas, and as long as he acts, the child is on the road to success.
As for what to do in the end, the child must be on the road to life, which is his best growth.
What was his original ideal, and does it still matter at this time? Of course it doesn't matter.
Therefore, to give the child's ideal a current affirmation, what we can do is to recognize the child from the title, encourage the child, and slowly, the child will gradually live like the words of the parents.
04
There is a word called "motherhood is rigid", once a woman has a child, becomes a mother and mother, and is different from the original self.
As the saying goes, if you are not in your position, you are not in charge.
This is the corresponding behavior that comes with salutation and identity.
Don't think about whether you can achieve it, this is at least much better than some children who have no ideals and no goals, right?
Therefore, we parents want our children to have dreams, and we must first give our children an identity.
A good identity can enhance psychological cues and help children succeed.
For example, I always want my child to read more books, and I usually take her to the bookstore more often to buy some books suitable for her age. At the same time, give her the title of "little bookworm", and slowly, she really loves to read more and more.
Netizen "Ah Bai" said: My daughter likes Ryder of the PAW team, every day, and that pig man, every time she is disobedient or timid, I will call one of these names instead of her real name, which is super easy to use.
Therefore, changing the name of your child can positively promote their growth and self-identity.
05
So what should we call our children?
If the child is introverted and timid: we can think about what movie or cartoon the child likes, and call it the brave, resolute and lively characters in the film. Little Warrior, Little Explorer, this kind of title that can arouse children's fighting spirit is not bad.
If the child is a little depressed, you can take the child to do more volunteer work, such a team is full of positive social energy and is very helpful to the child. While children develop a sense of social responsibility, depression will gradually improve. If you call it, you can use some positive, confident, and powerful words, such as: Sun Messenger, Future Star, Energetic Youth.
If you want to make your child more responsible: you can use titles like "big brother" and "big sister" to make your child feel that he has grown up and needs to protect his "little brother" and "little sister". This kind of salutation not only increases the child's sense of responsibility, but also gives him a sense of slowly maturing.
The change of roles will make children more independent and responsible.
I've tried this trick, and it's really smart.
I call my daughter "first sister" and my son "second brother", and their words and deeds are very worthy of this title. When my colleagues saw them, they all said that these two babies are so mature in their words and actions, not the same as the one in my family, although they are the same age, but we are still like a baby.
If you want your child to have more leadership style: when the child becomes a class leader or "team leader" from a "student" or "kindergarten child", we can directly call him a class leader, a group leader, the title is different, the identity is different, which child is not confused when he listens?
"I'm the class leader (team leader), but I have to study hard and take the lead, otherwise how can I get my classmates to obey me?"
If you want your child to love to work, you can give your child the title of "hall manager" (responsible for the sanitation of the living room and dining room) and "director" (responsible for cleaning the toilet).
This short video blogger "is a lazy mother" does a very good job, she let her son be the director, every time the living room needs to be cleaned, she will call the director, the director of the hall after doing a brainless compliment, after her daughter cleans the toilet, she also gives a thumbs up and praises.
You must know that the lazy mother gave birth to 3 babies, but watching her with the baby is like playing, which makes people can't help but have the fantasy of having more babies. In fact, if you think about it, the lazy mother has mastered these routines with a baby. With a word, the children broke their legs, smart!
Therefore, when we address children, we try to choose positive and positive words that guide children to develop in a better direction, and avoid negative and negative ones, such as: "naughty ghost", "crybaby", "troublemaker".
Let children understand the impact of salutation from the outside in, guide them to build a positive self-image, and form a positive self-perception.
Encourage parents.