Hello, I'm Ah Qi~
"Don't seek fame and achievement, as long as you can illuminate a corner. ”
"You don't have to work too hard in life, live every day honestly. ”
Because of these two sentences, I fell in love with the book "The World is Worth It", and therefore I fell in love with Grandma Hengzi, a 90-year-old psychiatrist who has not yet retired.
I like her attitude towards the world, her views on work, her way of dealing with interpersonal relationships, her balance between work, life, and family, and her frank and simple, calm, calm and elegant ......
From her, I know how to better face work, interpersonal relationships, and family, so as to live this life calmly.
01 Don't take your work too seriously
(1) What is the purpose of work?
Grandma Hengzi said that working for money is a matter of course, and it is not shameful to work for life.
It is true that most of us work just to earn money to support our families, and our families are the most important thing to us.
Work is only a part of our life, not the whole of our life, and don't think of work as the most important thing in life.
(2) What should I do if I don't like my current job?
Grandma Hengko said, "It doesn't matter if you don't like work, it's better to do as much as you can than to think about it." ”
When you feel that work is meaningless, but you don't know where to go, you might as well calm down and do things, unless you find something you really like, and then don't hesitate to do it, don't think so much, just work, do it first.
Don't leave your job easily, because poetry and distant places are very expensive, and your purse can't reach far away, and you really can't afford to eat if you don't have money.
(3) If the job keeps making you make great sacrifices, leave decisively
People say that you should cherish the present, especially in the past few years, it is difficult to find a job, but it does not mean that you should accept the job unconditionally.
When a job is bothering you, you've been making great sacrifices, and you're physically and mentally exhausted at work, don't be too yourself, and if you can't bear it, you don't need to endure it anymore.
You can decide whether to stay at work, others can't interfere, and you must make up your mind before you get hurt physically and mentally.
Of course, before leaving, try to explain as clearly as possible, do a good handover, try not to cause trouble to others, and if you can, make sure to find your "next job" before leaving.
02 The most important thing in interacting with people is to adjust the psychological distance.
Grandma Hengzi said, "There can't be a 100-point interpersonal relationship, as long as you can tell the truth to the people you trust and pour out your heart." ”
When interacting with people, you need to have a rod and scale in your heart, where people can have deep friendships, and which people need to stay away, you have to carefully observe the behavior of the other party.
Don't be overly enthusiastic before you are familiar with each other, and don't talk to others about everything, otherwise you won't know what's going on if you're tricked.
When interacting with people, it is inevitable that you will be told what others say and what you are asked to do.
Remember, as long as you don't violate your principles and don't hurt yourself, treat him as a fart and don't get angry.
Keep in mind a big truth, "If people don't offend me, I won't offend anyone, if people offend me, seize the opportunity and strike hard." ”
03 If you want to have a good family life, start with your own emotions and cognition
Happy families, the same, unhappy families, each with its own misfortunes.
Before I got married, I was a little yearning for the warmth of home, and felt that home was a warm harbor, but after I really got married, I found that I wanted warmth, but no one was a harbor.
No matter how harmonious a family is, there will be times of conflict. No matter how good a person is, there are moments of helplessness in the face of family.
Look at Grandma Hengzi, she has been excellent all her life, but she has no choice but to put on an alcoholic husband.
If she has been immersed in the struggle with her husband and vainly trying to change the other person's life, then she is destined to be hurt.
Many times, we can't change each other, we can only change ourselves, change our emotions, change our cognition, change our attitude.
There is a saying in the People's Daily that is extremely true, "Allow others to be others, and allow yourself to be yourself." ”
Don't try to change anyone, don't try to save anyone, or that sentence, we can only make decisions for ourselves.
Don't let yourself get lost in the trivialities of the family, be more tolerant and patient with your family, have time to improve yourself, and have the ability to improve the quality of life of your family.
Others, Buddha points, follow the fate, otherwise you will be tired to death.
(2024 Original Progress 24/300)