What kind of parents can raise excellent children? Do these 10 little things well, it is difficult for the baby to be excellent or not

Everyone wants excellent children, but excellent children are not grown up by themselves, but cultivated by their parents.

The following 10 small things may seem insignificant, but they can play a pivotal role in a child's growth.

01. Don't criticize, set an example

As the saying goes, "The son of a mouse makes holes." Implicit behind this is the importance of teaching by example.

When a child behaves in a way that does not meet our expectations, criticism and reprimand will put the child in a defensive or even confrontational position, and parents can lead by example so that the child can slowly change in the ears and eyes.

As the educationalist Rousseau said, "True education does not lie in oral instruction but in practice." ”

02. Say less about what you don't want and more about what you want

Psychological research shows that each of our subconscious minds does not accept negative words, and the more "don't do" things, the more the subconscious will tell you to "do".

Therefore, when educating children, it is far better to prohibit certain behaviors than to tell them what they should do.

For example, instead of warning your child "don't jump around on the couch," just say, "It's safer to play on the floor."

03. Use more positive words and less negative words when talking to your child

Psychology has a "labeling effect", that is, when a person is given a certain evaluation, he tends to make his behavior consistent with the label attached.

Many parents like to complain that their children are timid, lazy, too stupid, and have trouble concentrating......

As everyone knows, children's cognitive abilities are limited, and parents are their closest people, if parents often use negative words, children are very likely to think "I am so bad".

04. Give your child more hope

Two fathers and sons pass by the beggar. One father said, "If you don't study hard, you'll be so depressed in the future." Another father said, "You have to study hard so that you can help people like him when you grow up." ”

Although this is only a story, it is true that too many parents do not hesitate to exaggerate the terrible results or even curse in order to enhance the educational effect. For example: "If you do this again, your whole life will be ruined." ”

However, this often pushes the child into the abyss of despair and completely loses courage and confidence.

The best education must be to give children hope for the future, because "hope is a beautiful thing, perhaps the most beautiful thing in the world." ”

05. Don't deny your child's feelings

There are often similar situations in life: children who get injections say that it hurts, but parents persuade them that it doesn't hurt at all.

When children express bad feelings or feelings that are not in line with our expectations, parents often habitually deny them and try to change them with preaching.

Doing so will teach children to disguise, deliberately suppress or even distort their true feelings.

On the contrary, if parents see and accept their children's feelings, their children will feel understood and supported, and they will have a greater sense of security and belonging.

06. Encourage your child to be brave and accept failure

Courage and tenacity are two sides of the coin.

Parents need to train children who can hold both a spear and a shield in their hands, who will be able to face challenges and withstand the heavy blows of failure.

As Professor Liu Yu of Tsinghua University said, "Education should not only encourage children to be brave enough to succeed, but also learn to accept failure." ”

07. Allow your child to make mistakes

Educator Rita asked the audience in her speech, "How would you react if your child got 18 out of 20 questions wrong?" Rita laughed and said, "I would draw a smiley face on his test paper and tell him: 'You got two questions right, which means that you are getting better.'" ’”

A child's growth is a process of constantly making mistakes and correcting them.

Wise parents are not about not letting their children make mistakes, but about turning them into opportunities for their children's growth.

08. Pay more attention to the process of your child's efforts, not just the results

Parents tend to care too much about grades, rewarding their children for high grades and punishing them for unsatisfactory scores.

Yu Minhong, founder of New Oriental, reminded parents in the lecture: "For children, the score is not important, what matters is whether he has worked hard for the results he wants to achieve in the process." ”

Parents focus on the process rather than the outcome, and children will be more willing to put in the effort and will not give up easily when faced with setbacks.

09. Don't give your child a look in the face all the time

Hu Shi once compared an angry face to the most hateful thing in the world, thinking that "putting an angry face to others" is "more uncomfortable than scolding".

The face of the parents determines the color of the child's future world.

Parents can be strict with their children in education, but this strictness must be accompanied by love and warmth, not a cold face, otherwise the child will live cautiously, inferiority and cowardice.

10. Remember to hug your child more often and say I love you

In the famous "rhesus monkey experiment", newborn baby monkeys are kept with wire mothers and cloth mothers. The wire mother has a bottle hanging from her chest, and the cloth mother has nothing. And the baby monkey would rather not drink milk, and would rather stay with the cloth mother.

Experiments have confirmed that physical contact has even more effects on the development of infant monkeys than lactation.

Therefore, parents should hug their children more often, kiss their children, and say "I love you" more. These behaviors may seem simple, but they can go a long way toward enhancing a child's sense of security and well-being.

Excellent children do not appear in a vacuum, but are cultivated slowly.

As a parent, you should do the above 10 little things, and patiently guide your child to grow up slowly with loving and caring hands. It's like holding a little caterpillar and gently accompanying it until it finally transforms into a butterfly with beautiful wings, soaring freely in the sky.