One afternoon on the weekend, I was in the consultation room to sort out the information, and Tam's father made an appointment for an appointment, according to Tank's father, in the two weeks since the start of school, Ah Tan seemed to have become reticent and often went alone. He found that Ah Tan scratched his hand with a mirror fragment, although there was no blood, but he felt that her behavior was not normal, so he suggested that she undergo psychological intervention, and Ah Tan also expressed his willingness to go to the counseling room. After understanding the situation, I waited for Tan's arrival in the consultation room at the appointed time.
Ah Tan is a ninth-grade girl with a quiet and introverted personality. When I entered junior high school, my academic performance was average, and my grades continued to decline since the eighth grade, and I reported that I had difficulty concentrating on my studies because of depression. She lives with her father, mother, grandfather, and grandmother. His father has a bad temper and often scolds Ah Tan. Ah Tan felt that her family did not care about her and did not understand. In terms of study, Ah Tan's grades are average, he does not receive special attention from the teacher, and he does not have good friends in the class, so he feels very lonely. For a long time, Ah Tan has been depressed, has obvious depressive tendencies, has self-harm behaviors, and has difficulty falling asleep since the beginning of school.
I asked if there was anything I could do to help her. Ah Tan said that he felt very low, often did not sleep well at night, and it took a long time to fall asleep, and the state was more serious in the past two weeks, and the initial judgment that the sleep problems were mainly caused by emotional problems. Tan said that this state of depression began in the seventh grade, and it was often phased, and it was very low for a while, and it would be better after this time. She admits that when she is in a bad mood, she will draw her own hand. As she spoke, Ah Tan exposed her arm, and I saw six or seven scratches on her forearm, although it was very light, but these scratches on the fresh arm were shocking.
I noticed two deep scratches and asked about the origin of the two wounds. Ah Tan said that these two items were just scratched with broken glass, and I felt quite relaxed when I stroked, but after I scratched them, I felt that they didn't look good, and I was afraid that my classmates would see them, so I covered them with my sleeves. Ah Tan admitted that she tried to stroke her arm in the seventh grade, and she had seen someone do it before, and they seemed to be joking at the time, she thought it was quite fresh, and she wanted to try it herself, and it was gentle and not painful when paddling. Later, I found that paddling when I was unhappy can calm myself down. After listening to Ah Tan's narration, I roughly understood that she didn't really want to hurt herself, but balanced her emotions in this way. Ah Tan herself said that in fact, she knew that this could not calm her mood at all. But I don't know what to do when I'm uncomfortable, and I really want to change this emotional state.
Ah Tan's main focus is depression, which has lasted for a long time and has affected her study and life, and is accompanied by self-harming behavior, which should be paid close attention to. The root cause of depressive mood is pathological memory, and guidance on co-relationship patterns in the family of origin is part of the intervention. Starting from Ah Tan's own existing resources, tap into her own resources and help her change the status quo as much as possible.
In this conversation, I was able to make a general clear idea of the direction of the intervention, and I had an in-depth communication with Tan about the goals of the intervention. She said that her parents were busy with work, and her mother rarely came to visit her. Later, he had a younger brother. Now I live with my father, mother, brother, grandfather, and grandmother. Dad had a bad temper and often quarreled with his grandmother and scolded her.
Tan is very fond of dogs and loves to communicate with them. She has three dogs at home, and every time she comes home and sees them running around, she is very happy. Every time you're feeling down, it's much better to have a dog around. Anime can also bring happiness to himself, Tan said that he likes to watch classic anime, and he has been watching it for many seasons, and every time he watches anime, he feels that there is nothing unhappy. Also because of the anime, I met my good friend Ayi, and I had a lot of fun chatting with Ayi.
Tan hopes that he can fly happily and freely like a bird. I said to Tan, "The birds can fly freely, and they can stop at any time to smell the flowers and see the beautiful scenery, and they can adjust and rest at any time when they are tired." I also hope that you can fly happily like a bird, and if you are tired of flying and want to rest, this can also be your rest stop. When you're adjusted, you're ready to spread your wings and fly. ”
Me: What benefits does this behavior bring you, do you think that scratching your hand can get the attention and distress of your parents and classmates?
Tan: Yes, the girls in my class will be very concerned about me when they see me, and they didn't pay much attention to me before.
Me: On the one hand, do you think that your parents will care about you and feel sorry for you, and on the other hand, you seem to be worried that you will be scolded?
Tan: I also know that it's not right to get my family's attention in this way, so I'm eager to reduce this behavior.
Me: You just said that you only relax in this way when you are worried and depressed, so what have you done when you are depressed and can also help you adjust your emotional state?
Tam: Blowing the wind, listening to songs, playing with friends, reading novels, watching the sunrise and sunset and dusk sky, dogs, autumn dams.
Me: Which of these things is easier to do that you can do regularly?
Tan: Blowing the wind, listening to songs, looking at the sky, I can do these things often. I loved it when my dad took me to the dam to see the autumn trees, and I was very happy at that time.
Me: Can you go often?
Tan: On weekends, my dad usually takes me there in the evening.
Me: That's great, you actually have a lot of ways to adjust yourself, but you may not notice it at ordinary times.
After more than two months of memory restructuring intervention, Tan successfully returned to school, and during the intervention process, Tan was relatively involved and willing to share himself. As she left the consultation room, she happily stretched out her hands to show me, and I saw that there were indeed no new wounds on it, only the old wounds, looming. Looking at the little girl with a smile on her face in front of me, it was surprising how much she had changed compared to when she first stepped into the consultation room. I think that in fact, everyone has a flower in their heart, and they can make the flower bloom by themselves. In Tam's smile, I seemed to see a beautiful flower quietly blooming again.