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Some time ago, there was a video about "Little Yellow Hat" on the Internet, which resonated with the whole network, and the sick education concept behind it has harmed countless Chinese children.
On the way to go shopping, the girl accidentally ran into a little boy walking home crying, thinking that he was being bullied by his classmates.
Then she stepped forward and asked the little boy gently:
"Little friend, what are you crying about, who bullied you?"
When the little boy heard his sister's concern, his emotions suddenly collapsed even more, and he said with a look of grievance:
"I forgot to wear my little yellow hat, and the security guard uncle said it was not safe, and he didn't let me go to school, so I was asked to go home and get it, but I was going to be late. Then sister, can you borrow a mobile phone, I want to call grandma?"
The girl didn't hesitate and directly took out her phone and gave it to him.
The little boy called for the first time and found that he had not made a call to his grandmother, and suddenly became anxious again.
In order to appease him, the girl asked him to go back to class first, and she could buy a hat, and then send it to him after buying it.
Within a few minutes, the little boy finally called his grandmother and explained his situation.
The girl thought that her grandmother would care about the little boy for the first time, but she never expected that the first thing her grandmother said was to scold:
"Look at you, how many times have I reminded you, don't forget to wear a hat, don't forget to wear a red scarf, you are disobedient, who has a child as stupid as you!
Grandma's scolding caused the little boy to cry even more.
Then, the girl accompanied him to the school gate and watched him play and walk into the schoolyard.
At that moment, a bitterness emerged in the girl's heart, she didn't know what love was, she didn't know what the meaning of education was, was she wronged and couldn't be cared for, or was it this kind of education that was too morbid?
In this regard, many netizens ridiculed:
"A little yellow hat can force him to cry in front of strangers. ”
"I can't even remember how many red scarves I bought at the school gate."
"The most ridiculous thing is that when I got to high school, I found that some parents would help him take a day off and take him to play for a day, because they felt that this day of learning would not change their child's life."
"Just now my brother said to me, "Sister, I like you the most", I asked him why, he said because I came back today after taking the student handbook, everyone asked me how many points I scored, only you asked me if I was cold"
Yes, that's not just the thing he's crying about.
He cried because he couldn't understand why he forgot to wear a little yellow hat and forgot to wear a red scarf and was scolded by his family.
Obviously, he didn't mean it, and he wasn't so bad, but why couldn't his family see his shining light.
He just did a small thing wrong, but it doesn't mean that he did wrong.
I agree with Albert Einstein's words:
"If you use the ability to climb trees to judge how talented a fish is, the whole person will believe that it is stupid. ”
I think so.
Everyone's shining point is different, if parents deny their children just because of a trivial matter, it will bring the most pain to the child.
Some time ago, I saw such a video on the Internet:
In the cold winter, a mother rides her child from home to school, which takes about half an hour.
Then, when he was about to go to the intersection of the school, the child suddenly remembered that he didn't bring the school sign and the red scarf, and he panicked.
He cautiously said to his mother that he had forgotten to bring his school badge and red scarf, could he go back and get it, or could he send it to him later?
As soon as the mother heard the child say that she forgot to bring the school card and red scarf, her emotions collapsed suddenly, and she scolded the child directly regardless of the eyes of passers-by:
"Didn't you take my words seriously, you can forget such an important thing, why don't you forget to eat, how many times have I told you, these things can't be forgotten, have you listened to your mother's words? What else can you do?"
The little boy lowered his head, did not dare to say a word, and silently listened to his mother's scolding.
At a young age, he didn't know why he forgot to bring his school badge and red scarf and would be scolded by his mother, but he only knew that he was very embarrassed and undignified now.
We all know that people don't train their children in front of them, and mothers have no choice but to do this.
We know how difficult it is for mothers to do all kinds of trivial things, and we know how annoying it is to manage the affairs of the baby.
However, no matter how upsetting life is, don't vent bad emotions everywhere, especially when it comes to small things that are not really a big deal.
If you scold the child once, the child will bury it in his heart once, even if he gets up the next day with a hippie smile, but in fact, his heart has already been hurt.
As Sigmund Freud said:
"Unexpressed emotions never go away. They were simply buried alive and will one day explode in an even uglier way. ”
On the surface, it is the child's inappropriate behavior that triggers our emotional response, but in fact, the child's behavior just touches the hidden emotional button in us, and at some point in the future, it will explode at any time.
Last time, when there was an earthquake in Xianyang, Shaanxi, there was such a picture.
When a father learns that there is an earthquake, the first thing he does is to drag his child downstairs and run as fast as he can.
However, on the way to escape, the child anxiously asked his father:
"Dad, what should I do if I don't bring the red scarf, what should I do, I didn't bring the school uniform. ”
The child's father did not expect that in the most dangerous moment, the child's heart was thinking about forgetting to bring a red scarf.
I think it may be because I have been educated by my parents or teachers more times that children have a kind of "red scarf and school uniform" that is more important than life.
But this is a very sad and pathological act.
Educationalist Yin Jianli said:
"If you lose your temper with your child, you will hurt your child by seven points. ”
"If you want to destroy a child, lose your temper with him", this sentence is never a joke.
Because a word can make a child's heart like a knife, and a word can also make a child resist all the pain in the world.
Perhaps, your emotions are not physically abusing the child. However, your outburst of bad temper in your eyes and tone has become the child's mental torture.
Parents are the first people to come into contact with their children after they are born, and they are also the people who accompany their children the most and for the longest time, so the influence of parents on their children is definitely a lifetime.
The way parents know how to control their emotions is the best education for their children.
I saw a little story like this on the Internet:
A mother in Henan said that when she went to pick up her son from school yesterday, it happened to be cold and rainy.
As a result, I finally took my son home, and my son remembered that he forgot to take the homework assigned by the teacher.
The moment she learned that her son forgot to bring his homework home, her heart was indeed a little broken, and she wanted to accuse her son of being more careful and not always worrying about his mother.
However, it has already happened, and no amount of tantrums with his son will solve any problems.
Moreover, she knows that her emotional breakdown is not all because of her son.
So, after she calmed down, she thought seriously for a while and chose to self-regulate her emotions.
So, she shed tears while riding, and her son sat in the back and didn't dare to say a word, for fear that his mother would lose his temper.
Later, when her son got his homework, she drove her son home and ran into her son's favorite starch sausage.
Then, she got out of the car and bought a starch sausage for her son, and also bought a little snack and fruit by the way.
Seeing her son smile happily, at that moment, she suddenly felt as if life was not so bad, and her son was not so bad.
So, a small thing is just a small thing, and it is the most important thing for parents to know how to control their emotions.
Some people say:
"A happy childhood heals a lifetime, while an unhappy childhood takes a lifetime to heal. ”
Parents are emotionally stable, the family will be warmer and happier, and the children will be better.
As the saying goes, "If the son does not teach, the father is guilty." "It's normal for parents to criticize their children.
Especially some short-tempered parents, when they see their bear children making mistakes, their anger suddenly rises, and yelling and scolding is also a common thing.
No matter how emotionally stable the parents are, when facing their children's repeated mistakes or disobedience, there will be an outburst of emotions.
However, if you want to solve a problem, you can't just yell at it.
Before educating their children, parents should first consider their children's feelings and pay attention to the occasion.
When you calm down, regulate your emotions well and then proceed to the next step, your child will also think, oh, I am not so bad.
For children, the best family education is not how much the parents have achieved and how much money and resources they give their children, but that the father can accompany and the mother has a good mood, both of which are indispensable.
A child is a small sapling that needs patient companionship and gentle care to grow into a towering tree.
I hope that every parent will try to control their sick emotions before educating their children, which is the greatest blessing for their children.
Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below!
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