In a meeting with parents, Professor Todd published the results of a large-scale questionnaire in which he claimed that nearly half of parents reported that their children had social difficulties or were bullied by their peers.
The result came as a surprise to many parents, who stood up to discuss their child's misfits.
One parent couldn't help but exclaim: "My daughter is introverted and always hides away; My son has a lively personality, but he is also often fought. The other parents nodded their heads as well, their faces full of worry and concern.
Understanding parents' anxieties, Professor Todd decided to conduct a 75-year follow-up study to explore the impact of social skills on development. He believes that his research can really help these confused parents, so that more children can gain good social skills and a good environment for growth.
To test the impact of social skills on adult development, Professor Todd conducted long-term observations of hundreds of children in a kindergarten. He carefully designed a questionnaire to record each child's social performance in the kindergarten, such as whether they are willing to take the initiative to play with their peers and whether they are easily excluded by their peers.
Twenty years later, Todd re-contacted the adult group of subjects for in-depth interviews. It was found that those children who were "very popular" and had strong social skills in kindergarten were significantly better in terms of career achievements and life status.
For example, Xiao Li always takes the initiative to play with everyone in the kindergarten, has a strong appeal and cohesion, and is very popular with children. When he grew up, Xiao Li really had a thriving career and created his own company.
There is also a Xiao Wang, although he also mixed well in kindergarten, but he was occasionally ostracized by his peers. When he grew up, Xiao Wang's career developed averagely, and he was not as successful as Xiao Li.
Such examples confirm Todd's hypothesis that social skills in early childhood can indeed have a profound impact on a person's adult development. Children with strong social skills are more resilient and resilient to stress, and are better able to reach their potential and achieve more.
Based on the findings of long-term research, Professor Todd believes that parents should pay attention to developing their children's social skills from an early age.
1. Cultivate correct judgment of right and wrong. Many children have a tendency to be "self-centered" and cannot accurately judge right from wrong. Parents should inspire their children through specific cases in daily life, learn to think about a problem from the perspective of others, and judge whether their actions will harm others.
2. Learn to make multi-angle choices. Teach your child to take the initiative to think from multiple perspectives when confronted with a problem or decision, and to list different solutions or options, rather than falling into a rigid mindset that there is only one answer.
3. Master the sequence logic of events. Through storytelling, discussion, etc., cultivate children's ability to grasp the cause and effect of an event as a whole and the logical sequence, rather than focusing on the result one-sidedly.
4. Understand the similarities and differences between yourself and others. Parents should discuss with their children the different preferences of themselves and others, so as to inspire them to put themselves in the shoes of others, think from the perspective of others, and understand that everyone has different needs.
5. Understand the different levels of the problem. By discussing different examples, help children look at a problem from multiple dimensions and understand the different aspects it may have, so as to broaden their horizons and not limit themselves to their own perspective.
These suggestions provide parents with specific directions for their development. Professor Todd believes that if parents can consistently develop their children's social skills, children will be better able to survive and thrive in interpersonal relationships, and their problem-solving skills will be improved comprehensively. In order to better help parents develop their children's social skills, Professor Todd has also designed a set of ICPS training methods:
I - Accurately locate the problem and analyze the cause and effect of the problem.
C - Think about your own feelings and those of the other person, think from the other person's point of view, and develop empathy.
P - Think about the problem from multiple perspectives and list at least 3 different solutions or responses.
S - Choose the best workaround among different scenarios.
This ICPS method embodies the training concept of "teach to fish". When children encounter social problems, parents should not give direct answers, but lead children to analyze and solve them step by step by asking questions.
For example, when a child is ostracized by a peer, parents first ask the child to describe what happened. Then guide the child to empathize with what the other party's exclusion may be; Next, ask your child to come up with at least 3 different ways to cope. Finally, discuss the pros and cons of each method with your child and choose the most appropriate one.
If you persist in this kind of training for a long time, inspire your child to analyze problems and propose solutions on their own, your child's social skills will be greatly improved. They will also take the initiative to use this mindset to better deal with various interpersonal problems.
In summary, through a 75-year follow-up study, Professor Todd confirmed the important impact of social skills in early childhood on a person's future adult development.
Children who had good social skills and got along well with others in kindergarten were generally successful and happy when they were re-surveyed 20 years later.
This shows that strong social skills provide a strong foundation for their adult life. Conversely, if a child has social barriers from an early age, such as being ostracized by peers, this may leave a shadow on his development. Such children are more likely to have low self-esteem, withdraw from adulthood, develop slowly, and find it difficult to realize their potential.
According to Professor Todd, children with strong social skills are more resilient and resilient to stress. They can take the initiative to live an active life, and when faced with difficulties, they do not give up easily, but try to find ways to find solutions to problems.
Because of this, they are more likely to achieve career success as adults. Therefore, Professor Todd calls on parents to pay attention to cultivating their children's social skills from an early age. He has also designed a set of training programs, including specific suggestions for improving judgment, choice, logic, etc., as well as ICPS social training methods.
These methods follow the philosophy of "teach to fish" and allow children to develop their independent analysis and problem-solving skills in specific cases. Professor Todd believes that if all parents focus on nurturing their children's social skills, our next generation will be better able to develop into confident and active citizens in relationships and community life.