The greatest sorrow of an ordinary family is to stand on tiptoe and raise their children into "fake rich"

Author: The main creative group, Little Tomato

Some time ago, I went to my cousin's house as a guest.

The first time I went to my cousin's house, I followed around and toured around, and other places were normal, but I didn't expect my little nephew's room to open my eyes.

I saw that half of the walls of the room were made into transparent shoe cabinets, which were filled with all kinds of brand-name sneakers.

I pointed to the nearest pair of shoes and asked:

"This pair should be new, right? I see my girlfriend is wearing it too. ”

The cousin said, "Isn't it, the child likes it and buys it, and it costs 1399!"

I smacked my tongue when I heard it.

As far as I know, my cousin's family is just an ordinary working family, and I think I must have paid a lot for my little nephew.

Even the clothes on my cousin's body are still the same old style from 5 years ago, and the sleeves are frayed.

At the dinner table, listening to her discuss with her cousin-in-law, it seems that she wants to take her children abroad to play around and see the world during the winter vacation.

I remember that over the years, I have seen many parents, doing everything possible to create a comfortable and excellent living environment for their children, giving their children what they want, wearing brand-name clothes, and using trendy electronic products......

I can't help but think, is it really worth it to raise children at all costs without considering the reality of the situation?

A quote comes to mind:

"If you don't do what you can to raise your children, the result will be to squeeze your parents' wallets, lower the family's living standards, and your children will easily lose themselves. ”

The most dangerous education for ordinary families is to raise children on tiptoe.

Not long ago, chatting with an HR friend, she said confusedly:

"In the past, I liked to recruit children from poor families, because I felt that children from poor families could endure hardships and have a sense of responsibility, but now I have to be cautious, because there are too many rich second generations from poor families!"

Their company previously recruited a new intern, who is said to be a single-parent family who grew up with his grandparents since he was a child.

Originally, his friends had high hopes for him, but as a result, this boy was particularly slack off from the first day of work, arriving late and leaving early at every turn.

Usually arrange a job for him, as long as it is a little more difficult, it means that he can't do it.

The most annoying thing is that he has a very strong self-esteem, and he can't say or scold.

After a one-month probationary period, the company decided to dissuade him, and when his friend talked to him, he learned:

The boy's grandparents are obedient to him, and he is reluctant to eat and wear, and almost every month of his pension is spent on him.

Since he was a child, he has used the latest mobile phone and worn designer shoes.

Slowly, the boy loses himself in the so-called "abundance", laziness but vanity, his heart is higher than the sky, his life is thinner than paper, and finally he repeatedly hits a wall in a society that encourages competition.

I can't help but think of a sentence:

The second generation of the whole people is the greatest sorrow of this era.

How many parents from ordinary or even poor families, even if they eat bran vegetables, want their children to live a high-quality life:

Wear white-washed clothes and pants, but the child must be bright when he goes out;

Your own mobile phone is not stuck, but the child must use the latest mobile phone;

Giving children a life that is higher than their own ability will only raise children who only know what to ask for and do not know the sufferings of the world.

Reminds me of a video I watched before:

Because his father, who worked as a courier, did not buy himself an iPhone, the 16-year-old son asked his father to stand outside the house.

also scolded his father:

"If I can't see my phone when I get home, do you hear me as my son?"

Not only that, but the son also forced his father to kneel down for him to admit his mistake, and loudly asked his father, "Do you know it's wrong?"

The father replied tremblingly, "I was wrong, son. ”

It's chilling to watch.

This selfish son has no idea how many couriers his father has to send in the cold wind and how much sweat he has to shed in exchange for a so-called brand-name mobile phone.

Ordinary families raise their children out of parental love.

But when wealth has no principles and love has no bottom line, it will only make the child's desire more and more inflated and become a bottomless pit that will never be filled.

I saw a news item on the Internet before:

An ordinary family, in order to provide for their daughter to study abroad, almost exhausted all the financial resources of the family.

In order to make his daughter live a better life abroad, the father has to give his daughter 10,000 yuan with a monthly salary of 13,000 yuan, leaving only 2,000 yuan as living expenses, and three meals a day are steamed buns and pickles.

Later, the father found out that his credit card had been swiped by his daughter with a lot of money, so he sent a WeChat message to ask his daughter.

turned out to anger his daughter and openly insulted her father on the Internet: "Old guy, don't give birth to this fairy if you can't afford it!"

even threatened to expose his father's ID card and unit.

The greatest sorrow of a family is that parents give everything, but they can't raise children who know how to be grateful.

Psychological counselor Wu Di once said: Many young people nowadays have this mentality, their family background is not superior, but lazy and vain.

But who is to blame for this?

A blogger told a story.

One day when his house was being renovated, he saw that the workers hadn't eaten lunch, so he asked by the way, but the workers suddenly turned red.

After chatting for a while, the two learned that the worker's son stopped going to school at the age of fifteen, smoked and drank all day, and the family sold 3,000 yuan of corn money, and the child took 2,000 yuan, which was spent in a few days.

When he ran out of money, he asked him to ask for it, and if he didn't give it, he threatened to run away from home, so he could only save money for his son.

The blogger was very shocked, the child spent all day drinking, did not learn and did not know how to do it at such a young age, and the key family had no money to squander for him!

He looked at the worker, his cloudy eyes, messy hair, rough hands, dirty old clothes, and he looked like he was doing manual work all year round, and he was only 35 years old when he asked him, 2 years younger than the blogger.

The worker also regretted talking about his son, saying that he went out to work early and threw the child to his grandparents to raise.

Because he is not by his child's side, he feels guilty about him, he has been pampered since he was a child, and he will respond to requests, and he will buy a copy of any fun and delicious food in the city.

As a result, it's too late to change now.

There is a saying on the Internet:

"There is no parent who does not want to give their children the best education and the most abundant upbringing, but this needs to be commensurate with the actual conditions of their own family. ”

No child is born a white-eyed wolf, and no child is born without knowing how to cherish his parents.

If parents shield their children from the ups and downs of life and deliberately create a carefree living environment for their children, how can they expect them to know how to be grateful?

Li Bo, a professor at Nanjing Normal University, once said:

"The real education is that no matter how rich you are, your children will suffer.

What kind of person do you see who doesn't go through the ups and downs of life? The child needs to have normal tempering, not just give him all kinds of excellent conditions. ”

For ordinary families, and even poor families, the best education that parents give their children is never to do their best to enrich their children and let them soak in honeypots from an early age;

Instead, let him know the real situation of the family as soon as possible, feel the difficulties of his parents in the grinding, and learn to be responsible and responsible.

is like this 9-year-old boy Wang Haodong who was praised by the whole network.

His parents were in the vegetable business in Xi'an, and during the winter vacation, Wang Haodong would come from Xuchang, Henan Province to help his parents sell vegetables.

Selling vegetables is particularly hard, and Xiao Haodong has to get up at 4 o'clock in the morning every day.

But he said that he can only see his parents once a year, and although it is very hard, he is very happy to be able to help his parents.

He also sighed:

"I didn't know how busy my parents were when I was at home, but I didn't know how busy they were when I came here.

I really want to say to my parents, I love you, you have worked hard!"

Children are not born with compassion for their parents, and they will only be grateful to their parents when they truly feel the hardships of their parents.

Remember this boy who picked up trash with his mother?

His name is Zhong Pengchen, and in the 2022 college entrance examination, he scored 652 points and was admitted to Peking University.

When the college entrance examination was over, he neither traveled around like others, nor stayed at home to relax and entertain, but went to the scenic spot where his mother worked to clean up with his mother.

At the moment when he learned that he had been admitted to Peking University, Zhong Pengchen breathed a sigh of relief:

"I can finally feel at ease and help my mother with her work. ”

Every holiday, Zhong Pengchen will accompany his mother.

One summer, when the weather was particularly hot, someone plastered small advertisements near the ticket office of the scenic spot.

While his mother was cleaning indoors, Zhong Pengchen found a small shovel from home to shovel small advertisements, and after shoveling for a whole afternoon, his shoulders were sunburned.

It is precisely because he has experienced the hardships of his mother's work and understands that life is not easy, Zhong Pengchen has always worked very hard in his studies and is determined to be admitted to Peking University:

He gets up at 4:30 every morning, has a 5-minute breakfast, and even goes to the toilet with a book.

In life, in order not to increase the burden on his parents, he learned early to do his own laundry, cook and arrange his studies;

Even every time he had a holiday, he would cook a meal in the rental house and take it to his mother's place of work.

The best family education is that the material can be bitter, but the spirit must be rich.

Only by letting the child feel the difficulty of life and explore the meaning and value of struggle alone can he learn to be grateful and redouble his efforts.

Regardless of whether the family is wealthy or not, parents should cultivate their children's independent character and rich heart.

Yishu wrote in "The Golden Years":

Rich families are losers, and poor families work hard to produce talents. In fact, it is not necessarily, it still depends on the tutor and the experience.

The greatest wisdom of being a parent is to never "stand on tiptoe" to raise a child.

Giving children real growth, letting children understand difficulties and hardships, and guiding children to be diligent and hard-working is the most profound gift to children.

I hope we can all raise a child who is rich in heart, grateful, and independent.