Winter vacation is too expensive for mothers?and my son 7 years of extreme pulling,I summed up the instructions for straight male cubs

The following article is derived from the Oasis of the Brook language, the Oasis of the author's Brook language

Winter break is here again. The mood of the old mothers, 10,000 words are omitted here...

The most expensive type of beast in the cage is undoubtedly a straight male cub. If you want to maintain family harmony and inner tranquility during the long vacation, instead of arranging all kinds of baby throwing activities, it is better to learn some practical communication methods in life scenarios, and it is not impossible for mothers and children to be filial and happy.

The bad news: The following may be completely useless for having a daughter.

Good news: The following may be useful not only for your 7-year-old son, but also for your 37-year-old husband.

So, are you ready? Let's go.

When you want to encourage your son to do something

Error example:

Me: Well, you're so good at running, you must sign up for an 800m. Mom believes you can! You're the best in my eyes.

Son: Hmph, you just want to fool me into participating in the sports meeting, right? I don't run.

Correct demonstration:

Me: Well, if you can't, forget it. It's okay.

Son: I can't? Who said I can't, I can? I'm going to run 800 meters.

晔子划emphasis

The male species has a dead hole called "You can't do it". They can't hear the word "no." So as long as you question him if he can't do it, he can't think about what it is, and he has to get up and do it all to prove "I can".

When you want your son to do the work for you

Error example:

Me: Well, go down and get a roll of paper.

Son: I don't take it, why do you always let me take it?

Me: Somebody has to take it. I've done so much work, can't you do a little bit?

Son: Hmph, I won't take it.

Correct demonstration:

Me: Well, I'd like to ask you for a favor. I'll be happy if you help me, but it's okay if you don't.

Son: What's the matter?

Me: Can you please come downstairs to that roll of paper?

Son: Okay!

Me: Wow, you really got it for me! I don't have to go downstairs by myself, it's so easy. You are so good to me, promise me everything. I love you so much.

Son: What else is there to do?

晔子划emphasis

The whole operation has one concept ➕ and two main points.

One concept: the main "magnifying glass" idea. Even though you're asking him to do something as trivial as a roll of paper, you have to imagine that he's doing something as big as saving the world and saving all of humanity. You wouldn't be able to live without his help. He saved your day!

Two important points: Before asking your son for help, it is important to emphasize that it is not his obligation, but you will appreciate that he helps you, and his help will make you happy. We have to think this from the bottom of our hearts and express it this way. The son will feel that he has a choice. To help you is his contribution to you. It's not that he's forced to have to help you.

The other is that after he has helped you, you have to focus on how relaxed you feel because of his service, and then you will also develop a lot of love for him. You have to say it from the bottom of your heart. The son will feel that his efforts are seen and recognized. So that next time he is willing to help you.

If you fail in this operation, you need to reflect on whether you usually force your child to do the work for you, which has caused him to resent it. If yes, then you may not get his help for a while, but if you are really able to do it, "it's okay even if you don't help me", then the son will observe your change and slowly change his attitude.

When your son gets emotionally and starts to haunt you

Error example:

Son: You tell me to turn off the lights every time. Why doesn't my sister turn off the lights?

Me: My sister went to bed early in the room. You sleep the latest, so you turn off the lights.

Son: Why? I always turn off the lights! You two don't have to do anything (nagging 800 times and crying and beating people, getting more and more emotional)

Correct demonstration:

Son: You tell me to turn off the lights every time. Why doesn't my sister turn off the lights?

Me: That's true, you have a point. Let me think about what you said. (Sincerely)

Son:...... Suddenly there was silence

Error example:

Son: You don't listen to me! You don't listen to me!

Me: I was on the phone just now. You just come and talk to me, there's always one who comes first. You are unreasonable!

Son: Crazy hit me......

Correct demonstration:

Son: You don't listen to me! You don't listen to me!

Me: Oh, I didn't listen to you. Can you forgive me this time? [poor] Please, forgive me.

Son: Don't do that next time!

晔子划emphasis

It's very unwise to be tough with your son? When he is emotional, it is very unwise. It's just going to drive him crazy. And then you both lose.

The best thing to soothe his emotions is that you first recognize his feelings.

Therefore, the sentence "what you say also makes sense" does not mean that you necessarily agree with his logic, but that you allow him to think like this, and you also recognize that he will produce these emotions.

Of course, if you can be more "absolute" and gently ask him for forgiveness, he will definitely disarm and surrender sooner.

As for why you say I'm not wrong, I'm still asking him for forgiveness?

No, at home, with a little boy, what are you arguing about right or wrong? Have you ever watched Fei Xiang's classic video?

At the press conference of "Fengshen", an old aunt audience said to Fei Xiang: I have liked you for so long, but I didn't expect you to play such a bad king!

Fei Xiang said: Then can you still forgive me?

Did you learn something? You say that this old aunt has any reason, but Fei Xiang's reply will not really make people think that he is wrong, right? It's just that whether it's wrong or not at the moment doesn't matter that much. Let's focus on a gentle companionship and following emotion.

When there is no emotion on both sides, he may be in a good mood the next day, and you can take this matter out again to review it and reason with him. When the time comes, he will be able to listen.

When you are unwilling to agree to your son's "unreasonable" request, and you are afraid that he will be noisy

Error example:

Son: You have to promise me to eat instant noodles tomorrow!

Me: You've already eaten instant noodles twice this week, and you can't eat them anymore. We made an appointment to eat once a week.

Son: No, I'm going to eat!

Correct demonstration:

Son: You have to promise me to eat instant noodles tomorrow!

Me: Oh, you want instant noodles.

Son: Yes, I have to eat it tomorrow!

Me: Children seem to like instant noodles. Can you tell me why you like it so much?

Son: It's delicious.

Me: It's better than the somen noodles and knife-cut noodles at home?

Son: Yes! It's rolled. Knife-cut noodles don't taste good.

Me: Oh, you like to have a taste. It's delicious, isn't it?

Son: Yes, the instant noodle soup is also delicious.

Me: Oh, the soup is delicious, isn't it? Do you like to eat Tom Yum Ramen?

Son: I like it.

Me: Then let's have Tom Yum Ramen tomorrow. It's delicious.

Son (hesitating): But I'm going to eat instant noodles.

Me: You like tom yum ramen, and you like instant noodles. You see, you've already eaten instant noodles twice this week, so give Tom Yum Ramen a chance, but you haven't tasted it yet. Do you want to add shrimp or shells? Do you want enoki mushrooms?

Son: Okay. But I'm going to eat instant noodles again next week.

Me: Well, you can eat instant noodles 1 time a week, which is what we agreed. Right.

Son: Yes!

晔子划emphasis

Many of the demands made by our son, we heard at first glance, what the hell, it was not reasonable at all.

But if you directly label him as "unreasonable" and "vexatious", he will also be very unhappy, and will continue to pull with you.

I think they must be thinking, "Anyway, you've already said I'm being vexatious, so what if I'm a little more unreasonable?" "Broken jars.

Therefore, I suggest that you still follow the needs of the other party and find the "reasonable" needs from the other party's "unreasonable" requirements/strategies.

For example, if you want to eat instant noodles, it is a requirement (strategy), and if you want to eat something delicious, you need it.

Fully identify with his needs, pay attention, not with his strategy, but with his needs.

Then fully discuss his needs with him.

This allows the two of you to be on one side rather than on opposite sides.

Then give another strategy, which can also meet his needs. Then slowly invite him to discuss new strategies. Thus diverting his attention from the previous request.

Have you learned?

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