The road of life is taken step by step, you will go through countless choices, and you will naturally make many mistakes.
To err is human.
Big mistakes are constant, small mistakes are common, and people are normal.
But those who live clearly know that life is like a chess game, which does not allow child's play.
In life, there are these three kinds of mistakes that must not be made.
Because, these mistakes often make people empty their lives, and they can be injured at the least, hurt their muscles and bones, and even change the trajectory of half their lives.
01
Mistaking the platform for its own business
The so-called "self-knowing" means that the first thing a person must recognize is himself.
In the face of credit, we must also distinguish the influence of the platform and our own strength.
There are many talented people, but there are few successful people, because they have a suitable platform.
Without a platform, heroes are useless.
How important is the platform?
Bai Yansong once made such a joke:
"Take a dog into CCTV and let it show its face for a few minutes a day in the prime time of a program, and within a month, it will become a famous dog. ”
A good platform often amplifies a person's ability, but many people often forget who is standing in the center of the stage when they are shining with the resources of the platform.
There is such a story in "Qiao's Courtyard".
Sun Maocai, a poor talent who sells peanuts in the examination room, met Qiao Zhiyong, a big businessman, by chance.
At that time, Qiao Zhiyong was looking for talents for his business empire, and Sun Maocai won a ticket to join Qiao's banner with the "Kunpeng" theory, and since then, life has risen.
With the development of the group, Qiao Zhiyong has become rich in the world, and Sun Maocai has also become a hot figure because of his "remarkable contributions".
Once people are praised, they often lose their direction, so all kinds of expansion follow.
Sun Maocai, who thought that he had "made a lot of contributions", began to deviate, and even moved his heart to seek to seize the property of the owner, and was finally kicked out of the house by Qiao Zhiyong.
Sun Maocai didn't realize that without Qiao Zhiyong, he was nothing.
He found Qiao Zhiyong's opponent, Da Shengchang's shopkeeper, and wanted to find a new job.
He said confidently: "I can help the Qiao family achieve great things, and I can also help you make a lot of money." ”
But he was wrong, and the shopkeeper Cui poured him a scoop of cold water:
"Sun Maocai, you have to be clear, it is not you who have made the Qiao family, but the Qiao family who has made you!
Without the Qiao family, you would still be the poor talent who sells peanuts in the examination room!"
It became a tragedy to take himself too seriously, Sun Mao died in a foreign land, and there was no one to send him to the end, and the ending was tragic.
That's when he came to his senses:
The platform is the platform, you are you, when you have your back to the platform, the stars hold the moon, leave the platform, because of the lack of spotlights, you will never shine again.
The greatest ignorance of being a human being is not being able to recognize one's position.
Writer Li Shanglong said:
"Don't think of the platform as your ability.
You have to understand that everyone is an individual, and what is left of the platform is your ability. ”
This is a utilitarian world, the bigger the platform, but there is no shortage of talents to join.
A truly intelligent person knows that the position is given by others, and the glory is praised by others.
They are never complacent, but keep a low profile, transform the resources and advantages of the platform into their own value, and build a bridge for the future.
02
Mistaking temper for character
In life, we sometimes meet such a kind of person, who has a very bad temper, and a little thing makes them irritable, and after the temper is over, they don't forget to say: "My personality is like this." ”
This is indeed an era of personality emancipation, but personality emancipation is not the same as venting emotions everywhere, nor is it the same as losing temper tantrums.
Personality reflects the comprehensive ability of a person, which is not easy to change, but the temper is the attitude towards a certain thing and a certain person, which often changes with the environment.
Mistaking temper as character, putting a wrong position in life, losing temper out of place, and flaunting personality often multiplies the crisis.
Zhang Fei, a famous general during the Three Kingdoms period, was a short-tempered person.
Every time he gets drunk, he likes to lose his temper indiscriminately, and often whips his subordinates to vent his anger.
At the beginning, because of the reminders of Guan Yu and Liu Bei, Zhang Fei restrained his stinky temper and did not cause any extreme incidents.
But then Guan Yu died, Liu Bei was too busy, and Zhang Fei's life was in danger.
Once, he received Liu Bei's edict to crusade against Eastern Wu, so he asked his subordinates Fan Jiang and Zhang Da to complete the preparation of the whole army for war within three days.
Unexpectedly, Fan Jiang and Zhang Da had a slight doubt and wanted to give grace time, which caused Zhang Fei's anger.
He tied the two to a tree, gave them 50 lashes each, and threatened to kill his subordinates if he failed to complete the task.
There is a limit to patience, as soon as Fan Jiang and Zhang Da are combined, it is not the first time that Zhang Fei has beaten and scolded, horizontal and vertical is death, it is better to strike first and find a way to survive by yourself.
So while Zhang Fei was drunk and asleep, he cut off Zhang Fei's head and defected to Soochow.
Everything has a backlash, and the psychological resentment caused by a bad temper is also, endure for a while, but may not endure for a lifetime.
Everyone has their own temper, and no one never loses his temper.
However, being too egoistic, paranoid, and complaining endlessly will one day make the world lose patience with you.
Sooner or later, anger will rebound, and in the end, it may lead to self-defeating death.
American writer Mark Twain said:
"In this unpredictable world, it's better to try to be as stable as possible. Stability is calm, that is, calm.
No matter how urgent a matter is, there is always a solution.
If you can't calm down and clear your mind quickly, you will lose your ability to think critically and make things more and more uncontrollable. ”
Life often wins in harmony and loses in temper.
Proper restraint of bad temper, learning to be humble, tolerant, and patient, in order to make the relationship last for a long time, and the road of life will be wider and wider.
03
Mistakenly treat a bad friend as a friend
Many times, the people around us are our destiny.
There is a very heart-wrenching tragedy, that is, he treats his bad friend as a confidant, and he helps count the money when he is cheated.
Not long ago, there was such a piece of news, which was widely concerned.
Brother Shen in Yangzhou, Jiangsu Province was cheated by a friend who has been dating for 20 years.
The eldest brother said that his best friend suddenly borrowed money from him, claiming that he was preparing a chemical plant and that the profits were very considerable, but the funds were not enough and needed to be turnover.
Because the relationship was too iron, Brother Shen gave the other party 450,000 without thinking about it.
Later, this friend came to borrow money again and again, and it was as high as 1.59 million before and after.
Some of them were made up by Mr. Shen after overdrawing his credit card.
But when it was time to repay the money, he realized that the chemical factory was empty, his friends had evaporated, and the money had already been squandered.
And in order not to let himself be discredited, he had to sell his house and car to pay off his debts.
He was originally wealthy, but because he mistakenly believed in a friend, he went bankrupt in an instant.
Goodness without wisdom is stupid.
In the relationship between people, getting closer without a bottom line is a disaster, and trust without a bottom line is also a disaster.
Confucius once divided friends into two categories, one is "good friends" and the other is "bad friends".
He said: "The beneficiary has three friends, and the loser has three friends." Friendship is straightforward, friendship is forgiving, friendship is more heard, and it is beneficial; ”
It means that good friends are reliable, upright, honest, and have a big pattern, and unreliable friends look good on the surface, but in fact they are like villains, with great lethality.
Friends are also divided into three or six and wait, and they are right, but they must seriously analyze the actual situation.
When it comes to money exchanges, or invitations without a bottom line, and other risky situations, you must not listen to and believe partially, and you must think twice, or you will really ruin your life.
▽
Everyone's practice is lifelong.
However, if you mistakenly regard the platform as your ability, you will put the wrong center of gravity, and it is easy to lose balance;
mistaking temper for character, indulging selfish desires, and easily falling;
Mistakenly taking others as confidants, misreading human nature, and being easily swallowed up.
When we can't figure out where we are, when we can't control ourselves, and when we can't identify people's hearts, such mistakes are likely to turn our lives upside down.
We don't even have a chance to start over.
Life is not easy, and walking and reflection is the right way.
Only by taking every step can we take a big step forward.
You have to see clearly in order to achieve a long-term view.