December 20, 2018, which is the 14th day of the 11th lunar month. It was a normal day for most people, but for my wife and sisters, it was a dark day, and that afternoon my mother-in-law, their beloved mother-in-law, died of an incurable illness.
Although my mother-in-law has not been in good health since the second half of this year, she can eat, drink, and sleep, which seems to be harmless to life.
In order to repay the mother's nurturing grace, the children hope that their mother can have a healthy, long and happy old age. Therefore, they try their best to do something for their mother, do a little filial piety to their children, so that their mother can live a few more years and enjoy a few more years of happiness.
But the world is unpredictable, time is passing silently every day, and our seemingly long life is actually not long. It is sad and regrettable that the old mother-in-law did not like to be publicized and obscure all her life, and when she left, she was also obscure, leaving no words for her children.
The old mother-in-law usually has no serious illness, but her legs can't get off the kang, and she still moves freely on the kang. The morning was still the same as usual, the lunch meal was still the same as one to two (one to two local dialects read one than lia refers to usual), more than three o'clock in the afternoon, I felt uncomfortable, and I took some pills, and then I was nauseous and vomiting, unconscious, and went to the west.
The old mother-in-law walked suddenly, and walked peacefully, but it was also unexpected by the children, and the old mother-in-law usually did not have any serious illness, but her legs could not get off the kang. How can you say that you will just leave?!
Therefore, I can't help but let the children come from the heart, tears like rain, the old mother-in-law she has been hardworking and kind all her life, diligent and thrifty, and has worked hard to raise seven of their brothers and sisters to start a family (one of the eight to give birth to someone to raise), and now just when the children want to deeply repay her old man's nurturing grace, also enjoy the family, and spend their old age in peace, why did they suddenly let go of the west?!
Although the old mother-in-law has no culture, she is also a person who endures humiliation and does not make a public appearance, and she never reveals any illness in front of her children, but bears it silently. Maybe the old father beckoned in heaven, or maybe the old mother-in-law was really tired and wanted to rest, no matter how much worry she had, she couldn't keep it!
Whether or not people have a sixth sense (Everyone has five senses, which are sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch, but in addition to these five senses, there is another sense, which we call the sixth sense. The standard name for the sixth sense is extrasensory perception, also known as mental awareness. This ability is to receive information through channels other than the normal senses, and to be able to predict what is to come. Many women will say that their sixth sense is very accurate, but there is no scientific explanation for the existence of the sixth sense, because this feeling is too mysterious, and some people's sixth sense is really accurate and terrifying), and does the old mother-in-law also have this sixth sense? That was the last time it was my wife's (second daughter's) turn to wait for the old mother-in-law (the sisters agreed to wait for the old mother for a week) enough days to go back to the city.
That afternoon, when my wife was packing up her things and was about to go back, my mother-in-law suddenly looked sad and said sadly, "Erniu (wife's nickname), don't wait for your turn to come back, come back and see me if you have time!"
My wife didn't feel right at the time and told me when she got home, but she didn't take it seriously. Luckily, a few days after that return, a friend in the village celebrated his birthday, and on that day, we went back to the village to visit and serve my old mother.
The wife brought the old mother some food that the old man liked to eat, and at the same time washed the old man's whole body, and did her filial piety again. And when I walked back that day, I didn't see any discomfort from my mother-in-law. But on the afternoon of November 14, just five days after that day, several sisters in the city suddenly received a phone call saying that the old mother-in-law had suddenly fallen ill and asked the sisters to hurry back. But I hurried back like that, unfortunately the old mother-in-law and her old man had already gone to the west, and it was too late to say the last word to the children, and it was too late to see the children for the last time.
The old mother-in-law left in a hurry, which made the children very sad and grief-stricken. The old mother-in-law is 86 years old this year, and the fifth generation is in the same house, and there are nearly 100 children and grandchildren, which can be regarded as a full house of children and grandchildren. Although her old man usually had some minor illnesses, she did not suffer any crimes, which also added some comfort to the sorrow of her children.
The old mother-in-law walked in a hurry, but it was also very calm and serene, like a nap (qi) on a summer afternoon, passing away with a dream, she got rid of the entanglement of the world, and went to the west without worry, but left endless thoughts and deep regrets for her children.
The old mother-in-law went away so suddenly, so that the children grieved, and caressed the cold cheeks of the old mother, and they would never see her kind face again, nor hear her voice. From then on, yin and yang are separated, and there will never be a day to see each other, this is exactly the death of the deceased, the pain of the living, the endless thoughts and pain, so that the children are heartbreaking!
Ah! Loving, kind old mother, unforgettable thoughts rolling in! Endless memories are full of emotion!
I can't help but think of the singer Yan Weiwen's song about my mother's "Mother" about my mother's mother, which was sung by my aunt Wu'er to my mother-in-law's 80th birthday a few years ago. At that time, the five aunts sang passionately, which won the praise of all the guests, and the moved mother-in-law was also wet in her eyes and tears in her wet wipes.
Mother-in-law and five daughters
And in the song:
"Someone will bring you your new school bag
Your flower folding umbrella in the rain is being fought
The three fresh fillings you love to eat
Someone he gives you a bag
Someone wiped your aggrieved tears for you
Ah, this person is a mother
Ah, this person is Mom
This man gave me life
Give me a home
Ah, no matter how far you go
Whatever you're doing
I can't leave it at any time
Our mother...... The straightforwardness of the mother in those lyrics is not a true portrayal of the life of the old mother-in-law.
And the Empress Dowager of the Qing Dynasty, the Empress Dowager Cixi also has a deep description of this feeling, that is on the occasion of the Empress Dowager Cixi's mother's seventieth birthday, she wrote to her mother a heartfelt poem, the words wrote: "The world's parents love the truest, tears and blood melt into the children's bodies, do their best to always be the son, pity the hearts of parents in the world." It expresses that although the Empress Dowager Cixi was the ruler of the Qing Empire, she also had a true portrayal of the flesh-and-blood connection between parents and children in the world.
The old mother-in-law is a woman who has come out of poverty, and has tasted the hardships of the world since she was a child, and the tempering of the burdens of early life has made her strong and persistent. The life of the old mother-in-law is a life of frugality, a life of hard work, a life of hardship, a life of kindness, and a life of kindness to children and grandchildren.
In swaddling clothes, the milk is sweet, in the crook of the arm, the wind and rain, motherly love, and the heart is warm. The sky is high and the sea is deep, it is difficult to compare with the mother's kindness, painstaking teaching, and it will be unforgettable for a lifetime. This is the most noble, holy, and selfless mother's heartfelt love for her children in the world! That is, as the saying goes, father's love is higher than a mountain, and a mother's love is like water deeper than the sea.
I can't help but think of something my wife said. It was the winter of November 28, 1969 (the 19th day of the 10th month of the lunar calendar) at the end of the 60s of the last century, when the mother-in-law had already given birth to seven children (the second son was sent to be raised by the mother-in-law because of the illness when the child was born), but at that time the family planning had not yet begun, and the mother-in-law gave birth to a fifth girl, which was later my fifth aunt.
At that time, it was the time when the collectivized agriculture Dazhai was booming, the old man was the captain of the production team, and he couldn't take care of his home for a day because of the wind and rain for the production team, and the old mother-in-law worked hard for seven or eight children, and took care of the sick and bedridden old father every day, and was exhausted, so he wanted to give up the five daughters he had just given birth to.
And I also found someone, according to my wife, the family I found was a family in the village south of our village, the two of them were in their forties and did not have a heart, and they really wanted to take care of a girl (local vernacular means to raise). I was very happy to hear that my mother-in-law's child was going to give it away. And as soon as possible, I made an appointment with my mother-in-law to meet the time of the child.
On the day of the appointment, it happened to be a sunny and windy day, when the heavy snow had passed, and it was basically the winter solstice, so although it was a sunny day, the temperature was very low, dripping into ice, and it was very cold.
It is said that the man who happened to have a child came with a woollen cart, which was covered with thick licorice, and then covered with a thick cotton mattress on top, and also prepared a large shoulder-wrapped leather jacket (the large shoulder-wrapped leather jacket was generally worn by horse-drawn carriage drivers in the old days, and was generally made of five or six sheepskins cooked out, and after wearing it, adults could even wrap their heads and feet tightly) to wrap the child.
After coming, after a little greeting, the person who happened to the child planned to let the child go. But at this moment, the mother-in-law was a little reluctant, after all, she was pregnant in October, and a piece of meat fell from her body, if it was really unbearable. But I said yes to others, and I didn't know how to do it for a while.
And the father-in-law is busy with the production team and is not at home, just a bedridden old father and four girls of different sizes at home. And when the children saw that someone came to Cha Xiaomei, although they were unwilling but had no choice.
Seeing that people brought in a big shoulder jacket from the Mao Fu car to just take the child, the mother-in-law was reluctant but helpless, and the eldest daughter was weak by nature, seeing this situation, she just cried.
And my wife (the second daughter was fifteen or sixteen years old at the time) was more stubborn by nature, and she was outspoken, and she couldn't help but be anxious when she saw that people wanted to have children and were about to be separated. But it was inconvenient for her to come forward directly to stop others, so she gave her two little sisters (one three or four years old, one less than ten years old) a look, and although the two little sisters were not big, they had already been harmed from the eyes of her second sister (the local vernacular was understood).
So, the two little sisters picked up the kang head (in the old days, the farmer's soil kang was divided into fire and kang head, and the kang head was corresponding to the fire head, not the head of the feet) The carrots in the kang cabinet (in the old days, carrots were the main vegetables of the common people in winter, because they had to be eaten almost every day, so many people were neatly stacked in the right place in the house after the carrots were peeled), while picking up the carrots and smashing people, while scolding and driving people away.
In a moment or three, the carrots were also thrown to the ground, and the person who happened to be a child was also smashed with carrot marks. Seeing this situation, the person who happened to be a child didn't scold, nor did he go, but just looked at my mother-in-law awkwardly and was speechless.
At this moment, my mother-in-law was reluctant to give her children, so she happened to get off the donkey and find a step. Hurriedly said to the person who happened to be a child: Look at this situation, the children don't agree with it, forget about this matter!
At this time, although the person who happened to be a child still wanted to take the child away, but seeing this situation, he was helpless in the face of the children crying and screaming, so he had to take his big shoulder jacket and say goodbye and go home. In this way, the child was saved from being taken away. But it also left the old mother-in-law with more worries and hardships.
At that time, the old mother-in-law was busy all day during the day, and at night she had to sew and mend clothes for the children under the kerosene lamp, trying to keep the children fed and clothed, she poured all her hard work and great maternal love into the children, and their brothers and sisters grew up day by day in this ordinary and great maternal love. And when the children got married and had children one after another, the old mother-in-law waited for the third generation one after another.
"The silkworms die in spring, and the candles turn to ashes and tears begin to dry" This poem in "Untitled" by Li Shangyin, a great poet of the late Tang Dynasty, is not a true portrayal of the old mother-in-law? For the sake of his children and grandchildren, he did his best until the last moment of his life.
The life of the old mother-in-law is plain, ordinary, and ordinary, in the face of the difficulties in life, the torture of illness, there is never the slightest complaint, and complaint, but she bears it in obscurity, if the children ask what to eat, what to want, she always says, what to eat, how to do. We were always afraid of bothering the children, and we didn't mention any special requests until we remember.
Life always comes and goes, just like the transition of spring, summer, autumn and winter, this is the law of nature, and it is also the charm of nature, no matter who can not resist. But the most painful thing in the world is that "the tree wants to be quiet but the wind does not stop, and the son wants to raise but does not wait".
Therefore, when I recall my mother-in-law, my mother-in-law's voice and smile will appear in front of me! Therefore, it is gathered into one sentence: When there is poverty at the ends of the world, there is only endless thoughts!
Feeling this, it leads to the following feelings.
Confucius wrote in the Analects of Confucius that "if your parents are here, you will not travel far, and you must have a way to travel." ". Nowadays, there is a common saying, "When parents are there, home is there". Master Confucius's famous saying "Parents are here, don't travel far" says: Parents are here, try not to travel far. If you go away, you should also arrange your parents' daily life, and also inform your parents of your own trends and itinerary, so that your parents will not be worried all the time.
And now people often say that "when the parents are there, the home is there", this sentence is also very philosophical. Parents are here, go home to see their parents, this is a natural thing. If your parents are gone, you can't call them home, you can't call them home, that's to go to your relatives. That is to say: "When the parents are here, the brothers and sisters are relatives, and when the parents are absent, the brothers and sisters are relatives!" There is no distance between relatives and relatives, but there is a distinction between distance and proximity.
That is: parents still have a place to come from in life, and parents have only a way to return to life.
When your parents are there, your home is there. This is a very good saying, because parents are home, parents are love, home is parents, no matter where we struggle and struggle, parents at home are our love, is our yearning and concern.
"The family has the love of the parents, the family has the love of the parents, the parents are there, the home is there, and the parents support the home. The family has the love of parents, the family has the love of parents, the parents are there, the family gathers the children, and the children are gathered."
Lu Jihong's song "Parents Are Here, Home is There" is every sentence in the heart, it sings the hearts of many children in the world!
Parents are here, we can be a child who will not grow up in their eyes, and feel the father's love and mother's love that will never grow old. No matter how much wind and rain we encounter outside, the harbor of family is our eternal warm embrace. In this world, family affection is forever cut, and our parents are the ones who love us the most, and vice versa.
Life is short, but years are long.
As the saying goes: "Filial piety comes first". But many people only suddenly realize when their parents are gone, and regret not being at the beginning. Why did he not practice filial piety in time when his parents were alive, so he left deep regrets on the road of this life.
Therefore, we should go home to visit our parents as much as possible, and when our parents are alive, we should do our filial piety, so as not to leave a deep regret and form a situation where "the tree wants to be quiet but the wind does not stop, and the child wants to raise but does not wait".