When I was a child, four generations of my family lived together, everyone treated each other kindly, the family was harmonious, and the family affection was strong. Growing up in such an environment, I always felt that my family was the closest person, someone I could trust, and someone I could rely on.
However, just when I felt that I had adapted to this culture, my mother-in-law was not satisfied. She said, "Your family's culture is really strange, how can you feel family affection when you are so restrained even when you meet?" she said, "She expects me to become more intimate like the locals.
I felt a little depressed in my heart, as if I couldn't really get in touch with my mother-in-law's expectations through a film.
The struggle made me feel very anxious.
After communicating with my mother-in-law, my relationship with her has improved a lot. However, new contradictions have arisen in the family.
My husband wants to leave his hometown and go to the big city, while his parents want him to stay with him and continue the family business.
This incident has put the family in a tense atmosphere. At a family dinner, the husband and his parents had a big fight.
I tried to reconcile the two, but I didn't know where to start. It made me feel powerless, and in this foreign family, I didn't know what to do right.
For the next few days, I pondered and didn't know what to do. I tried to communicate with my husband more in the hope that he would understand his parents' expectations, but he thought I was on his parents' side.
Little by little, the conflict in my family seemed to widen, and I even began to wonder if I had made the right choice.
During this time, the atmosphere in the house became more and more tense, the mother-in-law often talked to herself, and the conversation between the parents gradually decreased.
I don't know what to do.
After being in contact for a while, I finally got used to the way people meet here, and greeting people with their own hands and faces has become my daily routine.
This time it's about my husband's education. He believes that children should learn to be independent and autonomous from an early age, while I insist that children should be given more care and attention.
One time after dinner, my husband suddenly said to me, "I think you are too doting on your child, he should learn to be independent." My heart churned, "I'm not doting, I just want him to feel more love as he grows up."
"Your love is too much to spoil him, which is not good for his growth. The husband said firmly.
I tried to suppress my emotions, but the words came to my lips and swallowed back. At night, I sat alone by the window, looking at the night scene outside the window, with mixed feelings in my heart.
I craved understanding and support, but now I feel lonely and helpless.
I took a deep breath and decided to have a good talk with my husband. After a dinner, I sincerely apologized to my husband: "I'm sorry, I didn't take your position and opinion into account before, I just hope that the child can feel more love and care."
The husband showed a hint of a smile: "I'm also sorry, I didn't take into account your feelings. We should face this problem together and find a solution.
I felt relieved, and looking into my husband's warm eyes, I knew we had finally taken a step. This dispute has become an opportunity for us to communicate and understand each other more deeply.
In the process of getting along, we slowly established some tacit understanding and understanding. However, family disputes are always accompanied by some inevitable contradictions.
Once, my mother-in-law suddenly asked my husband and I to return to China to visit my parents often. For her, it's a sign of mutual support and reunification between family members, but for me, the timing of returning home is not flexible, as work and living abroad are deeply rooted.
As time went on, this contradiction became more acute and often became a point of contention between us. I began to feel exhausted, and the life, career, and relationships I had built so hard in a foreign country seemed to be in jeopardy because of this topic.
This question became a knot in my heart, and I tried to balance it, but many times it didn't work as well as I wanted.