Facing Parental Divorce: A Child's Inner Journey and Parents' Coping Strategies
In today's society, divorce has become a common phenomenon. However, for children, the divorce of parents is undoubtedly a disaster. Fu Seoul, a well-known emotional expert and author, has delved into the impact of divorce on children. She believes that children's reactions can be divided into stages, and as parents, it is important to understand these stages and adopt coping strategies accordingly.
The child's reaction stage
Fu Seoul pointed out that when children face the divorce of their parents, they usually go through the following stages:
Denial and isolation: Children may refuse to accept the fact that their parents are divorced and try to suppress their emotions. They may become withdrawn and alienated from family and friends.
Anger vs. aggression: Over time, the child may realize that parental divorce is inevitable. At this stage, they may feel angry with their parents, themselves, and the world around them. This anger can lead to aggressive behavior, not only directed at parents, but also towards classmates or friends.
Negotiation and bargaining: At this stage, the child may try to reach an agreement with the parents in order to reduce family conflicts. They may come up with various conditions such as taking turns living between their parents, sharing time, etc. While these agreements may not be a long-term viable solution, they are a solution for children to find in their current predicament.
Depression and depression: Children may feel frustrated and helpless in the face of family breakdown. They may show symptoms such as sadness, loss of interest, and loss of energy. This depressive state may persist for some time and requires attention and support from parents and society.
Acceptance and adaptation: Eventually, the child may gradually come to terms with the fact that their parents are divorced and begin to adjust to the new way of life. They may begin to rebuild a good relationship with their parents and find their own source of support and comfort. While this process may take a while, the child is gradually able to re-establish his life and confidence.
Coping strategies
In response to the different stages of children's responses, Fu Seoul proposed the following coping strategies:
Give a sense of security: During the initial phase of denial and isolation, parents should give their children enough security. This includes ensuring that their living circumstances and emotional needs are met so that they feel loved and cared for. Parents can appropriately explain the reasons for the divorce to their children and emphasize their love and support for their children.
Listening and understanding: When children show anger and aggression, parents need to listen patiently to their feelings and thoughts. Don't easily contradict or criticize your child, but try to understand their inner world. By communicating openly and honestly with their children, parents can help them release their emotions and find solutions to their problems.
Create a positive communication environment: During the negotiation and bargaining phases, parents should encourage their children to express their opinions and needs. At the same time, parents should also set their own conditions and expectations. It is important to maintain open lines of communication so that children feel respected and understood. In this way, parents can help their children find a balance and reach an agreement that is acceptable to both parties.
Provide psychological support: Parents need to provide psychological support as their child goes through stages of depression and depression. This includes paying attention to your child's emotional state, encouraging them to engage in beneficial activities, providing emotional support and comfort, etc. If necessary, parents can seek the help of a professional counsellor to help their child cope with inner distress and pain.
Encourage self-directed growth: Parents should encourage their children to grow up independently during the stage of gradual acceptance and adaptation. This means giving children plenty of space and opportunities to explore their interests and develop their skills and abilities. By encouraging children to actively participate in social activities and Xi new knowledge and skills, parents can help them rebuild their self-confidence, develop independence, and develop problem-solving skills.
Fu emphasized that although divorce is a difficult experience for children, with appropriate coping strategies and support, children can gradually adapt to their new living environment and grow into healthy, confident individuals. As a parent, it is crucial to understand your child's reaction stage and provide support accordingly. Not only will this help children get through difficult times, but it will also build a strong foundation for their future.
