Guo Qilin had a sad childhood
Guo Qilin has lived in his hometown since he was a child, and he lives with his grandparents. His parents divorced early, and his memories of his loved ones were blank. Whenever the neighbors' children happily played with their parents, Guo Qilin could only hide in the corner silently, looking at them with watery eyes, his heart sour and empty.
Until he was 6 years old, a strange middle-aged man appeared, claiming to be his father, and wanted to bring him to Beijing to live. Guo Qilin was ecstatic, it turned out that he also had a father! Beautiful imagination filled his little head, and he fantasized about playing with his father, listening to his father's bedtime stories, and living a happy and happy life.
However, reality slapped Guo Qilin hard. After coming to Beijing, Guo Degang was busy developing his career and devoted all his efforts to the cross talk career. As apprentices, children can be naughty, only Guo Qilin must be meticulous.
Strict rules restrict Guo Qilin's freedom, and his father's relentless beatings and scolding make him live in fear. Guo Qilin didn't dare to get close to others, let alone ask for his father's love, so he could only swallow all the grievances in his heart.
The once innocent smile gradually disappeared from Guo Qilin's face, replaced by caution and trembling. He became more and more reticent, sitting alone in the corner listless.
Guo Degang's harsh education method deprived Guo Qilin of his self-esteem, leaving him restless and seriously insecure.
Guo Degang's violent education method
Guo Degang is a master of cross talk, and in order to make his apprentices talented successors, he chooses to use a harsh education method. He gave love and encouragement to his disciples, and willingly followed the worshipping master one by one; As for his biological son Guo Qilin, he is a completely different look.
"Don't eat vegetables, I put a bowl full of vegetables for him, because of this cry, don't disturb us to eat, go to the side with the bowl, and come back after eating. "Once for dinner, Guo Qilin didn't eat the vegetables on the plate, and Guo Degang ruthlessly kicked him out of the table, forcing him to go to the corner alone to eat before coming back.
The apprentices were eating lively meals, while Guo Qilin was whimpering and chewing on raw and cold vegetable leaves, feeling terrified and aggrieved.
Public criticism and corporal punishment were Guo Degang's methods of disciplining Guo Qilin. "When I was a child, in fact, if the child made a mistake, he blamed it in public, and the more people scolded him, the more he scolded. Once Guo Qilin accidentally broke the glass downstairs, Guo Degang reprimanded him loudly in front of a group of people and slapped him several times. Guo Qilin covered his red cheeks, and tears couldn't help but burst out of his eyes.
Guo Degang believes that this kind of education can wear down Guo Qilin's self-esteem, so that he will not lose the price in front of outsiders after he goes out. As everyone knows, the severe blow will only make Guo Qilin feel inferior, retreat, and lose the ability to protect himself.
The trauma accumulated over the years of repression made Guo Qilin become more and more pessimistic, extremely lacking in security and self-confidence. Meticulous rules also limit his autonomy and room to grow.
The mistakes of Guo Degang's education methods have seriously hindered Guo Qilin's healthy and happy growth.
Wang Hui's hypocrisy
Guo Degang was strict and cold to Guo Qilin when he was growing up, and little Guo Qilin longed for a pair of warm hands in his heart. When Wang Hui married Guo Degang, he was in love with Guo Qilin on the surface, and Guo Qilin was full of hope that he finally had a mother to love him.
Wang Hui often said that he wanted to treat Guo Qilin as his own child and care about him in every detail. She stroked Guo Qilin's hair and said, "Qilin, tell your mother, if you are unhappy, you can tell your mother, and your mother will help you." Guo Qilin was moved to tears, and finally, he also had a mother.
However, this warmth is only maintained to the surface. Guo Qilin found that he still looked like an outsider in this home. "Compared with my parents' apprentices, I am indeed a guest, I am not familiar with this home, I don't know where to put things, I don't have my own towels, I don't have my own toothbrush, I don't have my own bed, I don't have my own room.
This home has a photo of Guo Degang and Wang Hui, a photo of the apprentices, but there is no trace of Guo Qilin. Guo Qilin didn't dare to use anything at home, for fear of annoying his parents.
Guo Degang often said that the Deyun society was passed on to Guo Qilin, but Guo Qilin knew that it had nothing to do with him, and he could not integrate into this family.
Later, Guo Qilin chose to live independently away from home and avoid returning home. He gave Yu Qian's family a letter on the show, but he never gave it to Guo Degang and Wang Hui. All of this is telling people a fact: Wang Hui's care is only superficial, and she does not really regard Guo Qilin as her own.
It's not hard to say, "I'll treat you as my own," but it's very difficult to do it as my own. Wang Hui's hypocrisy made Guo Qilin's heart even more painful and confused, and also made him more and more desperate for his family and family.
Guo Qilin's inner pain
The oppression of his father and the hypocrisy of his stepmother filled Guo Qilin's heart with trauma and pain.
He was careful with all of them, for fear of offending anyone. In an interview, he humbly said to the host: "This interview, if it had been before, I would have liked to lie on the ground and talk to you." "He was afraid of everyone because he was insecure from a young age.
After Guo Qilin went out to live alone, in order to gain a sense of security, he began to save money. He would rather use dilapidated furniture than have it repaired in his home.
He didn't dare to spend extra money, and after he was busy working and making money, he saved it in his account, for fear that he would lose everything.
Once, Guo Qilin was injured during filming and was admitted to the hospital. Wang Hui called him and said in a concerned tone: "Our Qilin is injured, we must pay attention to our body and go home to rest." Guo Qilin was silent, he had seen the true face of this concern.
"Your father and I can work and earn money, what do you have to do in filming, you can lie at home, how uncomfortable it is to be injured now. Wang Hui said on the phone.
It turned out that she didn't care about Guo Qilin's feelings at all, she only cared about her own face.
Guo Qilin finally couldn't hold back any longer, and tears came out of his eyes. He struggled to squeeze out his words and unmask Wang Hui's hypocrisy: "You never treat me as your own child, I treat you like a stranger, you don't need to pretend to care about me anymore."
At this moment, Guo Qilin released the emotions that had been pent up for many years. All he wanted was the sincere love of his family, but that love never came. Apathy and hypocrisy make him disheartened and hopeless of family affection.
Years of suffering broke out at this moment, Guo Qilin howled and cried, for his gloomy life.
Misunderstandings about parental education methods
From this story, we can see that there are some serious problems with Guo Degang and Wang Hui's education methods.
First of all, Guo Degang's violent education method ignores the psychological needs of children. Parenting should not only be suppressed and ordered, but also need understanding and empathy. Harsh criticism and scolding can seriously hurt a child's self-esteem and leave them with psychological trauma, which is extremely detrimental to healthy development.
Secondly, Wang Hui's care stayed in words and did not take action. It's not enough to treat Guo Qilin as her own, she should make Guo Qilin truly feel the warmth of home through her daily subtle behaviors, instead of isolating him and making him feel that he is not treated as a family member.
In the end, none of them pay attention to the real needs of the child's heart and impose it on the child in their own way. This kind of authoritarian education makes children lose their subjectivity and cannot grow up healthy and happy.
Parents need to open their hearts, listen to their children with love and patience, and win respect with understanding and trust, rather than relying on power to force their children to obey. Only when the two generations truly communicate can the parent-child relationship be harmonious.
Recommendations for improving education
So, how can we improve the way we educate our children so that they can grow up healthy and happy?
First, we must use love to resolve children's rebellion. Hitting and scolding is often counterproductive, and instead of scolding children, it is better to dissolve their inner rebellion with a warm hug.
Love can move people's hearts, and the power of love is more effective than punishment.
Second, listen to your child's true thoughts. Instead of forcing your child to be submissive, listen patiently to your child's thoughts and understand their feelings and needs. Only when both parties truly communicate can the relationship be elevated.
Third, give your child enough space for autonomy. Avoid interfering too much in your child's life, give them appropriate freedom, and develop the ability to think independently and self-discipline.
Trust your child and give them enough trust.
Fourth, we should encourage more and criticize less. Encourage your child's strengths and progress more and criticize their mistakes less. Excessive criticism can discourage motivation, while encouragement can bring out the best in your child.
Fifth, express love with the little things you do. In trivial life, a question and a hug can make children feel the warmth of home. Words are not enough to express love, only actions can be convincing.
I hope that all parents can realize the misunderstandings of education and improve the way to let their children grow up happily in love. Nurturing life with sincerity and wisdom is the most important responsibility of parents.
epilogue
Guo Qilin's story makes us reflect on the importance of family education. Parents should nurture their children with love and wisdom and should not use violent or hypocritical methods.
Children need warmth and affection, and they need to be treated as individuals, not just as subordinate to their parents. A happy, healthy child comes from a family full of sincere communication and trust.
As parents, we should pay more attention to the inner needs of our children and think more from the perspective of our children. Only when the two generations are connected can the parent-child relationship be harmonious and the family happy.
I sincerely hope that all parents can face up to the impact of education on their children's growth, so that their children can grow up happily in love.