Once upon a time, there was a farmer who went to the field to cut grass.
A snake suddenly appeared in the grass and bit the farmer.
The farmer was so angry that he took up his scythe and chased the snake, making sure to return a tooth for a tooth.
After crossing a ridge and crossing a stream, the snake disappeared in smoke, and the farmer fell to the ground and died of poison.
This is known as the "snake chasing effect".
It means that it is possible for people to put the cart before the horse and lose their lives because of their emotions.
Back to real life, we often encounter such a dilemma: "If you hate someone, do you want to turn your face with him?"
Don't rush to give an answer, think about it, if you hate a snake, do you want to get entangled with it?
Since the damage has already happened, even if you chop the snake into meat sauce, boil it into porridge, and drink it, it will not solve the problem.
If you hate someone in an impulsive way, you are hurting yourself, so it is better to keep your sanity and learn to deal with it at a high level.
01
Disgust with others will continue to consume yourself.
Su Shi, a writer in the Northern Song Dynasty, was praised by the examiner Ouyang Xiu as soon as he appeared: "The old man should avoid the road and let him go out." ”
Just when Su Shi was proud, Wang Anshi's reform began.
The officials in the court were divided into two factions: the old school and the law change school.
Su Shi was on the side of the old school, expressing skepticism about the change and often raising objections.
After arguing for a while, Su Shi took the initiative to ask for an external transfer and go to work in the local area. He didn't face Wang Anshi every day, but the disgust in his heart did not disappear.
He wrote "Huzhou Xie Shang Table", and brought his emotions with him: "Your Majesty knows that he is stupid and uncomfortable, and it is difficult to follow the newcomers; ”
Then his anthology included a lot of emotional words, and the "Wutai Poetry Case" was born.
After experiencing prison, Su Shi was demoted to Huangzhou, and his younger brother Su Zhe was also implicated.
After Wang Anshi's reform failed, Sima Guang ascended to the throne as a representative of the old school, and most quickly canceled all the policies of changing the law.
Su Shi went around the place and found the pros and cons of changing the law, and thought that the change also had a positive side, and it should be comprehensively examined. At this time, he said that Sima Guang was "Sima Niu", too extreme.
offended Sima Guang, Su Shi started his degraded career again, and went as far as Hainan, blowing the bitter sea breeze all day long.
commented on other people's affairs, but didn't know anything about his own situation, which made Su Shi suffer.
Slowly, he understood that it was wrong to hate a person and give a face, because the "face" was his own, and once it was distorted, it would only torture himself.
From the perspective of interpersonal relationships and life, persistently hating a person will have a worse ending.
First, the people you hate will also hate you, and thus become your opponents and even enemies. Once you are surrounded by enemies on all sides of life, you will definitely not have a good life.
Second, living with "nasty" emotions, not eating well, not sleeping well, and being restless all day long, there is a high probability that your body will be dragged down.
Third, he loses face at every turn, and a fire in a bad relationship makes the other party angry, and the result is unimaginable.
Fourth, hate can't deal with the problem, it's just a meaningless mood. When you're done with it, you find yourself in the middle of a problem.
Fifth, bring the hateful emotions home, relatives will also be hurt, and the cats and dogs at home will become punching bags, triggering a situation where chickens fly and dogs jump.
Hating a person is like shooting an arrow at yourself and your family.
02
Only by stopping losses in time can you redeem yourself.
After experiencing the ups and downs of life, Su Shi began to adjust himself.
One day, Su Shi and Su Zhe met between Cangzhou and Wuzhou and sat in a noodle restaurant on the side of the road.
Su Zhe tasted the taste of noodles, which was difficult to swallow, and chewed it, which was even more uncomfortable.
Su Shi swallowed the dates, no matter what the taste was, and said: "Life is bitter enough, is it still necessary to chew?"
After Su Shi's disciple Qin Shaoyou learned about this, he said: "This gentleman is just 'drinking but getting wet'. ”
gave up all the "hate", and Su Shi finally became recognized by everyone as "an incorrigible optimist".
After listening to other people's fingers, actor Chen Daoming said: "I know that I can't deal with these things, so the way I often take is to hide, I don't carry it, I just hide away." ”
Taking what others say and do too seriously is to carry unnecessary pressure and crush yourself.
Dodging, not carrying, it looks incompetent, but in fact it is useless.
The smartest way to live is: "Let yourself be yourself, let others be others." ”
The best way to socialize is: "Meet and say goodbye." ”
Specifically, it is to do three things.
First of all, hate a person and be silently alienated.
If there is a distance between each other, they are all beyond the reach of the whip, then no one will hurt anyone.
Over time, the hatred dissipated. Memories have become very faint. Something new will replace your past emotions.
Then, hate a person and don't speak ill of him behind his back.
The people you hate are actually the people that other people like. The bad words you say will definitely be spread and remembered by others, which will reach the ears of the parties concerned and cause conflicts.
Not to mention behind the scenes, this is also the cultivation of life.
In the end, if you hate someone, you should look at what you are wrong with.
It takes two to tango. All contradictions are mutual, and you can't just think that you are right, and your mistakes are someone else's.
It doesn't matter if someone else is wrong, it's just a low-level group. It's enough for you to get out of the group and live a good life.
You can't stop other people's emotions and other people's mouths, but you can learn to shut up, you can let go, and take the initiative to walk away.
03
The ancients said: "Things must first rot and then insects will give birth, and people must first suspect and then slander them." ”
When a piece of food is surrounded by pesky flies and mosquitoes, it is actually spoiling itself, emitting an unpleasant smell.
When you meet someone you hate, you actually have something to be hated by the other party, which breeds unpleasant friction.
Looking in the mirror, when you turn your face with someone, your face is crooked, and you are still like a snake and scorpion, there is no need.
Life is so short, there is more time to hate others, and less time to be yourself, and you can't make it worthwhile.
Learn to beg inward, hate anyone, and you won't turn your face, but will smile and bow your head.
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The pictures in the article come from the Internet.