Don't be a cheap mother, this is the greatest respect for children

If you want your child to be rich in heart and have a strong sense of self-worth, then the mother must not be too "cheap".

Mothers must love themselves enough before they have the energy to nourish their children and lead them to grow up healthily.

Author | Tomato Mom

Last weekend, I took my 8-year-old daughter out shopping.

It's almost Christmas, and the kids are clamoring for strawberry cake.

So, we walked into a cake shop with a beautiful decoration, and there were seven or eight kinds of strawberry cakes alone.

The daughter was overjoyed and quickly picked a beautiful 6-inch cake.

Just as I was queuing up to pay, the voices of a mother and daughter next to me caught my attention.

The little girl, who looked about the same age as her daughter, kept begging her mother to buy her a cake to eat, even the smallest one.

But her mother disagreed, and kept accusing her:

Do you know that it is easy for me to spend money indiscriminately, and I am tired and tired every day to make money?

I can't even buy a piece of clothing all year round, and I've been wearing a down jacket for 10 years, so you're too embarrassed to buy a cake?

At this time, the clerk came over with a plate of free snacks.

Seeing this, the girl's mother's eyes lit up, and she walked over with the girl in her arms.

"Don't you want to eat, come on, let you eat enough!" he said, picking up the snack and stuffing it into the girl's mouth.

The little girl turned her head angrily and shouted "I'm not going to eat" and rushed out of the store, and her mother grabbed a handful of samples and went out with her.

My daughter and I were dumbfounded.

After walking out of the cake shop, my daughter hugged me and said, "Mom, you are so nice." ”

I touched my daughter's head, but I kept worrying about the fate of the little girl just now.

In fact, we often see such mothers in life, especially like to worry about money.

or deliberately live a tight life, crying poor in front of the child at every turn:

It's not easy for mom and dad to make money, you have to save some flowers;

Buying you ice cream is enough for mom to eat for a day, and you can't waste it;

When you go to a supermarket, you must try enough food before leaving, and you always ask the stall owner to send something when you buy a grocery.

This kind of mother thinks she will live, but she reveals a sense of cheapness all over her body.

The writer Mader told a story.

There was a woman in shabby clothes who was shopping in the snack street, and she picked up all kinds of street snacks and stuffed them into her mouth under the pretext of tasting them first.

Walking down a street, she filled her stomach without spending a penny.

A child saw it and wanted to learn from this woman, but as soon as he stretched out his hand, he was beaten back by the grandfather next to him.

The child felt very aggrieved, and the grandfather said to him: If you learn from her, you will be poor, and it will be difficult to turn over if you are poor.

Many parents hope that their children will grow up to surpass themselves, get ahead, and become wealthy.

But they ignore that it is difficult for parents with poor hearts to raise promising children.

I've seen kids who grew up in an atmosphere where their mothers cried and cried.

When he was a child, the sentence he heard the most was "There is no money at home, and it is not easy for your mother to support you alone." ”

So, he didn't dare to look up when he went to the supermarket with adults, because he was afraid of seeing his favorite snacks.

That feeling of unworthiness has always followed him, until today when he goes to a place of consumption, as long as he does not have enough money three times as much, he will feel afraid;

As long as he is not seriously ill, he does not dare to go to the hospital;

In the face of other people's goodness, his first reaction was not to be pleased, but that I was not worthy.

That feeling of inferiority and deprivation was rooted in his heart and became a shadow that he could not get rid of for the rest of his life.

I've also seen children raised by mothers who love to take advantage of their little things.

A netizen followed his mother in the car when he was a child, and his mother always tried to find a way not to buy him a ticket.

Later, he went to school abroad, occasionally found that he could take the bus without swiping his card, and later simply Xi fare evasion.

As a result, just before graduation, he was blacklisted for job hunting because of his bad record of fare evasion, and he could only return to China in disgrace.

Yu Minhong once said:

It is difficult for us to find a child who can get out of a big mind in a calculating family, and it is difficult for us to find a child with elegance and innocence in a vulgar family.

A mother with a sense of cheapness will never be able to raise a child who is rich in heart and has an elegant character.

In life, there is also a common kind of mothers, who are particularly willing to give to their children, but are very "harsh" to themselves.

I saw a mother on the Internet recording her daily life.

She made dumplings one day, and after wrapping a batch, she served 20 for her son and 30 for her husband, and asked them to eat first.

I continued to wrap it, but the filling was not enough, so I only made about 10 dumplings, and rolled out the rest of the dough into noodles, and I made do with it.

After working for most of the day, I only ate a hodgepodge of dumplings and noodles, but I didn't complain when I saw that the father and son were satisfied.

In the end, she was full of emotion: "Is it true that people will slowly become like this after becoming a mother?"

There are too many mothers, after having children, they become the ones who eat leftovers and eat leftovers, as if they don't deserve to eat something good.

For example, this mother, "After having two children, the mango flesh is all children, and I only deserve to eat mango pits." ”

These mothers seem to be very great, willing to sacrifice their feelings for the sake of their children and families.

But in reality, I only saw cheap self-touching.

With such selfless mothers, will their children really be happy and happy?

Not really, but patheticly.

Because the child passively becomes a "debtor", no matter where he goes in the future, he will have to carry a heavy guilt.

The writer Gan Bei once told the story of a young female reader.

Their family has a house and a car in a first-tier city, and their annual income is more than seven figures, which is definitely at the upper middle level.

But she didn't live comfortably at all, because her mother had a miraculous ability to make everyone feel guilty.

For example, when the family first bought the house, her mother insisted that the master bedroom be given to her, despite her repeated objections.

But her mother insisted, saying that she was the only daughter in the family and just wanted to give her the best.

She had no choice but to compromise and move into the master bedroom.

But since then, her nightmare has come:

Every time the test score is not satisfactory, my mother will count her down: "You are not studying hard, in order to give you the best environment, the largest room in the house is given to you ......"

Relatives and friends came to visit, and my mother always took the trouble to emphasize to others: "Our master bedroom has been given to her, what else should I do as a mother?"

For another example, when the family eats hairy crabs in autumn, my mother doesn't move her chopsticks, saying that she doesn't eat seafood, and when she quarrels, she cries again:

"I don't even want to eat hairy crabs, so I'll keep them for you......"

In the long run, the daughter broke down, her heart was overwhelmed, and she was even afraid to go home when she grew up.

The mother's bitter dedication will not only make her own life miserable, but also cause huge mental pressure on her children.

The level of happiness that a mother can feel in the family is also the limit of happiness that a child can feel in the family.

If a mother lives cheaply, it will be difficult for her children to be happy.

An education expert once said: Most of the problems in children are a reflection of the problems in parents.

Sometimes, we see a person living cheaply:

Especially reluctant to spend money, as soon as you spend money, you have a sense of guilt, always love to be cheap, short-sighted...... There is a high probability that he will be deeply influenced by his original family.

The mother is the person the child relies on and trusts the most, and the impact on the child is even lifelong.

Don't be a cheap mother, it is the greatest respect for children.

So, how should mothers avoid feeling cheap?

I think it can be summed up in one sentence: while enriching yourself, you also enrich your children.

First of all, mom must first learn to enrich herself.

I watched a video of a post-90s mother eating mangoes.

The mother first peeled a mango for her 4-year-old son, and the son took the mango and nibbled on it with a satisfied face.

Next, she took out a giant mango that was several times larger than her son's hand, which made people salivate.

When the child saw it, he was dumbfounded.

It turned out that this was a big mango that my mother specially bought for herself.

This wave of funny operations attracted netizens to leave messages:

"No matter how sweet you are, you can't be sweet to your child, and no matter how bitter you are, you can't be bitter about yourself";

"Poor sons and poor daughters, rich to raise their own bodies".

Whenever you love your child, you must learn to love yourself.

As a mother, you can be "selfish" and invest more in yourself:

If you want to eat, you should eat it, if you like it, you can buy it directly, and if you are interested, you should try it.

You can also give yourself a vacation, paint a delicate makeup, meet a few friends for afternoon tea, go shopping, and recharge your body and mind.

A mother is like a big ship, only when there is enough energy and energy, the boat will be very stable, and the child can become a person with a rich heart.

At the same time, don't forget to raise your children richly.

Enrich your children's material resources.

It's not about how much money you want to spend on your child, but about trying to meet your child's material needs within your own means.

Netizen @潇潇溪 said:

When I was a child, my family was very poor, but my parents never gave me the feeling that "my family is very poor and I am inferior".

Every time the fruit supermarket downstairs entered Dandong strawberries, Shandong cherries, and ginseng fruits, my parents went to buy them for me, and if I couldn't afford to buy a lot, I would buy one or two.

Although our family was poor, they tried to give me the best.

So when I grew up, even when I saw something expensive or novel, I rarely felt that I was "unworthy".

Luo Yifeng, who is the same age as Guo Wanying, is Kang Youwei's granddaughter.

She recalls being taken by her mother to the Summer Palace for a picnic when she was a child.

While roasting rosin-scented toast, her mother said to her, "If you don't have an oven, you can still bake delicious toast with wire and coal."

Therefore, even if she suffered hardships and poverty later, she still lived a noble and calm life, strong and optimistic.

The real enrichment is to teach children with their own words and deeds, and to pass on good character, high-quality cultivation, and positive energy to children.

Regardless of whether the family has money or not, parents can use pattern and love to hold up a piece of the sky for their children.

I've heard a quote like this:

Some people wear dozens of dollars of street stalls, but they look like they are famous brands, and some people are famous brands all over their bodies, but they look cheap and vulgar.

The "nobility and wealth" that a person has infiltrated from his bones cannot be concealed.

As the soul of the family, the mother lives a free and stretched life, with an open pattern, and loves herself enough to become a light, illuminating the road ahead of the child and helping him see a more vast sea of stars.

Click [Like], may we all become such "rich" mothers, grow up with our children, and harvest satisfaction and happiness from the heart!