I am a native of Fuqing, Fujian.
I was 38 years old when I got married. When I got divorced, I was also 38 years old. Now, I'm 40 years old.
In previous years, my parents talked about my marriage from morning to night, and since I had this happened, they have never urged me anymore.
No matter where you put it, it is extremely abnormal to be unmarried at the age of 38. In the rural areas, to a certain extent, the traditional idea of "unfilial piety has three, and no queen is great". Therefore, being unmarried at the age of 38 is even more of a "big rebellion" in rural areas.
At the end of 2020, the auto repair shop I opened was often unable to operate normally due to the epidemic.
It was also at this time that my parents arranged a large number of blind dates for me.
At that time, I had a blind date, and I couldn't count them on two hands.
However, because I am too old, most of the blind dates end in failure.
Are there any success stories?
Of course!
It's just that I tell you with my own experience: sometimes a successful blind date is not necessarily a good thing.
The girl who successfully went on a blind date with me is called Xiao Ran. It was a 91-year-old girl who was 29 years old at the time. She caught my attention at the time, I was 8 years older than her, I was 37 at the time.
Xiao Ran was able to catch my attention not because she was very beautiful. Rather, she is very "sincere".
The first time they met, Xiao Ran frankly admitted that he had been divorced.
In the process of eating and chatting, Xiao Ran was able to understand and accept all the shortcomings I raised. also talked about some of her own small shortcomings, such as: having a small temper, being relatively insecure, and being suspicious...... Wait a minute.
After eating, when I was about to pay, Xiao Ran asked me: Do you have a crush on me?
As the leader of the blind date world, I haven't seen a blind date girl ask in person like this.
I didn't know how to answer for a moment. Because, the answer was too easy, and it seemed that I was not careful enough about my emotions.
Xiao Ran continued: If you don't like me, then we will have AA for this meal.
I laughed and said: Look at it or not, eating a meal, a boy's treat is the minimum demeanor.
With that, I'll pay for it.
Coming out of the hotel, Xiao Ran said: I said so, you are still rushing to buy it, then I will take a fancy to me!
I've never felt so close to taking off a single thing.
So, at that moment I was also very happy and said: Yes, I have a crush on you.
Next, we had a brief contact for 3 months. The two sides will meet their parents!
This progress is faster than lightning.
This is normal speed. If it weren't for the pandemic, it might have been faster.
Although it was a blind date for my parents to go to Zhangluo, there was an introducer between us. If the marriage is completed, the introducer has money to collect. Therefore, the introducer is more anxious than us.
The introducer asked both parties privately, and both sides said yes, so they actively promoted both parties to meet their parents.
After the two parties met their respective parents, the first meeting between the parents of the two parties was at the woman's house.
After two parent meetings were negotiated and confirmed, we set the wedding date for March 25, 2021.
On the same day, our family paid half of the bride price: 333,333, and agreed to get the certificate in a week. On the day of the wedding, pay another 333,333. After getting the license and before the wedding, I want to add Xiao Ran's name to our family's house in Fuzhou (Fuqing is a county-level city under Fuzhou).
Seeing this, you will find that the bride price is 666,600. It is much higher than Jiangxi, which is famous for its high bride price.
In Fuqing, although the bride price of 660,000 yuan is also on the high side, it is only above average. Although it cannot be said to be a universal market, it is very common.
But our high bride price is not as famous as Jiangxi, because the dowry on our side is also very high.
In addition, many marriages of Fujian people are internal circulation, and the high and low are not very related to people outside the province. Therefore, people outside the province are not very clear about the true situation of our bride price.
It's just that my parents think that Xiao Ran is 29 years old and is married for the second time. Such an amount is more than they expected. Of course, it also exceeded my expectations.
However, the woman said: Xiao Ran graduated from a 985 university and can earn more than 20,000 yuan a month in Fuzhou. Therefore, although she is married for the second time, she is a high-quality girl. The money earned in the future is basically from the in-laws' family. Her mother's family trained her to go to college and spent a lot of money.
Therefore, the woman believes that the 660,000 bride price is not high.
They hope to marry their daughter, and then they also hope that their daughter will live well after marriage.
Therefore, this bride price is just a formality. They will ensure that our family is satisfied in the form of a dowry.
In Fujian, it is an indisputable fact that the bride price is high. But the dowry is also very rich, and it is also an indisputable fact.
Like Fuqing, there are many dowries given by mothers, which may be higher than the bride price.
Therefore, although we hesitated for the bride price of 660,000 yuan, we finally agreed.
A week later, we went to collect the permit.
The process of obtaining the certificate made me a little unhappy.
Although I have long known that Xiao Ran has been divorced, I don't know how long she has been divorced.
I went to register on the same day and learned that Xiao Ran's last marriage lasted from April 2020 to January 2021.
In other words, when Xiao Ran and I went on a blind date, they were not divorced.
But Xiao Ran told me that her ex-husband abused her, and her marriage had already existed in name only.
At that time, parents on both sides were waiting for us to go to the restaurant to eat and drink after we got our certificates. I hadn't seen my parents so happy in a long time, and I really didn't want to break the festive atmosphere. In addition, the two of us have signed an agreement, if I unilaterally want to terminate the agreement, the woman will not return the 330,000 bride price in advance.
So, I tolerate this deception, which is not too serious.
A few days after receiving the certificate, we went to go through the procedures for adding names to the real estate certificate.
The day of the wedding soon came, and on that day, our family paid the other half of the gift money in the form of a cash basket.
Several of my uncles and uncles, my siblings, and my parents, each contributed a different amount of gold.
On that day, Xiao Ran was overwhelmed by the gold vessel.
I am very grateful to my relatives for their love for me, and for the first time, I feel that I am so happy to be married.
However, when I learned something else, my heart suddenly cooled.
That is: the woman's dowry is like a joke!
Two big red quilts, as well as some milk, fruit baskets, nuts. It looks like the trunk of several small cars, but the value is very low.
Seriously, I don't expect the woman's dowry to be equal to my bride price. I can get by half, and I think I can get by.
Generally speaking, in Fuqing, even the most sloppy woman's parents rarely give less than a quarter of the bride price.
Such a woman's parents will be talked about by their neighbors and villages.
Fujian people have a good face, and such a situation is extremely rare.
And for someone like my mother-in-law, who uses a fraction of the bride price to buy a dowry, it is even more sensational.
This is the second trouble since I met Xiao Ran.
Unfortunately, there are countless troubles waiting for me next.
That night, the cave room spent candle night.
Before we got married, we had three or four months of contact, and because of the epidemic, we didn't see each other too often. In addition, Xiao Ran also tried to avoid personal contact with me in private spaces. Therefore, we do not have the opportunity to have skin-to-skin intimacy.
In fact, at the age of 38, although I was unmarried, I had also seen the world.
Xiao Ran is not a girl with a beautiful nature, so I don't have very much expectations for the affairs between men and women with her.
However, the cave house has been spent, so it has to be a routine business, right? As for the dowry, I can settle accounts with your family another day.
My routine didn't work out! Because, Xiao Ran said that her aunt was here.
Many times, a girl's aunt is more reliable than her own mother.
Because the eldest aunt can help the girls block many boys, but the mother can't help it.
Although it makes me unhappy to use my aunt as a shield, I am a civilized person, and I am not like the buddy in Datong, Shanxi.
I used the experience of two ex-girlfriends I had to count the days.
When I felt that Xiao Ran's aunt period must have passed, I once again asked Xiao Ran to fulfill her obligations as a wife.
Xiao Ran said, there are still remnants.
I was patient and waited another three days.
At this time, 11 days have passed since the candle night in our cave room.
That night, I made up my mind, not to mention my aunt this time, even the king of heaven and Lao Tzu couldn't save her.
Besides, is there an 11-day aunt in the world?
However, when I wanted to correct Xiao Ran on the spot, Xiao Ran still said the same thing: "Auntie!
Moreover, her attitude is very impatient and disdainful.
At this time, I remembered that she went on a blind date with me before the end of her last marriage, and that their family was fooling me with a cheap dowry, and I felt a little angry.
In addition, I firmly believe that the 11-day-old aunt is a fantasy, so I used the man's physical strength advantage to verify whether she is really a big aunt.
As a result, TNND is really a big aunt, who do I talk to?
I don't need to go to anyone to reason.
Because, Xiao Ran found a place for me to reason: the police station!
Xiao Ran sued me for attempted rape!
Because of our legal husband and wife, the police at the police station just criticized and educated me.
Yes!
It was me who was criticized for educating me.
Because, what I said about the 11-day aunt is my side of the story (I said that the 11-day aunt is suspected of cheating, so I got angry and acted irrationally). And the bruise on Xiao Ran's arm and the injury on the back of her head by the table next to the bed, as well as her aunt at this time, are ironclad facts in front of the police.
If it weren't for the relationship between husband and wife, I might have had to live in a prison cell before I had time to live in the cave room.
The next day, Xiao Ran went to the doctor. When he came back that night, he showed me a medical certificate with a mild concussion and said he was going to divorce me.
She said, I was too her!
The reason why she divorced her ex-husband was because her ex-husband abused her. And I, who had only been married to her for 11 days, abused her and had a concussion.
When she said this, I felt guilty myself.
But when I saw that the mild concussion order she prescribed, it was from a certain clinic. I don't believe it.
Because I have the impression that small clinics don't have equipment that can diagnose this disease, right?
I didn't respond to the divorce at the time, nor did I say anything wrong with her concussion diagnosis, but I just said that I hoped I could take her to a larger hospital for treatment.
Xiao Ran said, don't worry about me!
After such a thing, I wanted to touch her, but it was even more impossible.
At this time, the dowry given by her mother's family worked. She moved to the guest room to sleep and covered her mother's wedding quilt.
Next, it was the days of Xiao Ran's endless divorce.
I know, I might be in trouble!
At this time, my house is already shared by the husband and wife, plus the bride price and marriage expenses that have been paid before, if I get divorced, the loss is extremely huge!
When I think of this, I am suddenly reminded of something that is easily overlooked, but yet extremely important: gold!
At the time of the wedding, the gold ware worn by Xiao Ran was worth more than 400,000 yuan!
Sure enough, when I remembered this incident and went home to look for it, I found that the gold was gone.
Xiao Ran said that she had already sold.
What about the money?
Xiao Ran said: What does money have to do with you, these gold artifacts were given to me by the elders!
When she said such a thing, she didn't need to mention divorce. I want her to get out of my house sooner!
On this day, two female lawyers who handed out business cards came to my auto repair shop. They said they could help me with some business disputes. If I do this business, I may be able to use it.
Can a lawyer handle a divorce case?
Yes, but not what they're good at. Therefore, she recommended their leader, a partner-level lawyer: Zhao Lu.
Zhao Lu is a real beauty. Stylish and sexy!
I talked with Zhao Lu a few times, twice in a café and once in a hotel.
When I was thinking about how to sue for divorce, Xiao Ran's lawyer came to me first. There are only five words for appeal: I am out of the house!
Crazy about money?
It's really not, Xiao Ran said: One day husband and wife for a hundred days, she is dreaming of waiting for me to change my mind to coax her. However, my cheating broke her heart!
Derailment?
Yes, Xiao Ran said she had proof!
Her evidence is N photos of me and Zhao Lu, as well as some surveillance videos.
At that time, Zhao Lu and I were in the café to talk about the details of the incident before and after I was wrongfully raped by Xiao Ran, and Zhao Lu asked me to demonstrate it to her. Since it is a demonstration of such a thing, of course, there will inevitably be some physical contact.
Another time, it was at the front desk of the hotel where she stayed to communicate with her. At that time, she was together, and her high heels were broken, and then she said that her foot was also twisted, so she asked me to help her back to the hotel.
Then, in the process of helping Zhao Lu, Zhao Lu's whole person was half hanging on me. After entering the hotel, Zhao Lu talked to me for a while.
With photos and surveillance of these episodes, I am at a loss for words.
As mentioned earlier, Zhao Lu is fashionable and sexy. I had an intimate relationship with a somewhat scantily clad woman in a café and in a hotel aisle. I stayed in the hotel for more than 40 minutes before coming out.
This is indeed too much like having a man and a woman with Zhao Lu.
What's more, I can't find this Zhao Lu. It was not her name that was registered at the hotel that day.
At this moment, I was in a hurry, and the temporary lawyer did not have much time to help me gather evidence in my favor.
At the time of the divorce lawsuit, I was not sentenced to leave the house. However, all the money I earned from the bride price, the sale of gold utensils, and the more than 5 months of marriage I made belonged to Xiaoran. Xiao Ran, on the other hand, gave up the co-ownership of the house.
As a result, I got married this time and lost nearly a million. However, he divorced without having a relationship with his legal wife.
The reason why I suffered such a big loss was because of two fatal problems:
1. I have been violent to Xiao Ran, and I have also caused trouble at the police station.
Second, I can't prove my innocence in the photos and videos of me and Zhao Lu. I can't find this person either.
Later, I asked many professionals, for such a thing, I can sue the woman for fraud. However, with the information and evidence I have, there is little chance of winning.
Of course, the loss is so big, our family can't just suffer a dumb loss.
So, I called the police, hoping to get justice.
By August of this year, it was said that some people had been caught.
It turned out to be some truths that made me faint:
Xiao Ran's house in Fuqing is rented. The so-called parents, a number of relatives, Zhao Lu and the like, could not be found.
Xiao Ran's 985 education is fake.
Xiao Ran's job in Fuzhou with a monthly income of 20,000 yuan is fake.
Xiao Ran has been divorced, but before me, he had been divorced 5 times, not just once. It's just that the Civil Affairs Bureau won't announce the number of her divorces, so I won't know.
Xiao Ran was originally from outside the province, and later opened a separate Fujian household registration. Therefore, when she married me, she was the only one in her household register.
For such an experienced and well-organized person, how can a rookie in the marriage field like me resist it?
Ay!
Now, why is it so difficult for a single man to get married?
Dictation: Fuqing Wang Lao Wu
Text: Beibei