My wife and I are an ordinary couple, our son has started a family, and my daughter is still in school. Once, when our family went shopping at the mall, I was going to buy my daughter a Korean jacket as a birthday present.
When I looked at the price, I felt a toothache, but my daughter kept being greedy for that coat. As soon as my wife took out the money, my daughter-in-law immediately stretched out her hand to stop it, in front of so many people, I felt very embarrassed, and I couldn't help but be furious: "You fight for your mother's family, and your mother-in-law's family wants everything, it's really greedy!"
At this time, my daughter looked at me with red circles in her eyes. Everyone present was silent, and the awkward atmosphere made me realize that I had lost my temper.
My wife was also a little angry and bowed her head and didn't speak. At that time, the mood was really complicated, I felt sorry for the child, and I felt that human affection was like water, and my mother-in-law had a hard mouth, which was uncomfortable.
I told her, "Don't tell your mom, it's my birthday present for you."
My daughter was as happy as a bird, hugged me, and said, "Dad, you're the best!" The conflict with my mother finally gave me a chance to be intimate with my daughter, she was spoiled with me like a child, and I quietly paid for her and pampered her as much as I could.
This incident made my heart unable to calm down for a long time. When I got home, I talked to my wife for a long time, and I told her openly and honestly that our money had to be spent where it was worthwhile, reminding her not to be overwhelmed by the high hats that my children usually wore for themselves.
Since then, I've been thinking twice about shopping, spending our savings in a planned way, and the kids are unhappy because we're under siege.
I know that starting with the mutual understanding between me and my daughter, it means exploring the need for compromise through life from the perspective of family affection.
Some time later, at a family dinner, my son came up with a plan to study abroad. As soon as I heard the news, my wife was overjoyed, and was noticeably more enthusiastic than when she bought a coat for my daughter.
So, I immediately objected, not wanting my son to spend a lot of money to study abroad.
The son immediately looked a little angry, saying that he had made a lot of preparations and had some scholarships and student loans.
I always thought that my son was still young and could continue his studies in China, and then consider studying abroad when the conditions were more comfortable.
After a heated discussion, my wife and I disagreed and insisted on supporting our son. This incident made me feel a little resentful, and I felt that my wife was far more supportive of her son than she cared about our daughter.
This time the conflict hit me hard, and I began to doubt equality and respect in marriage. I feel like I'm becoming more and more marginalized in my family, especially when it comes to my children's education and future planning.
Now, I am stuck in a dilemma where I want to respect my son's choices and pursuits, but at the same time worry about the financial burden on our family.
I found that this time the conflict is not only about the future of the child, but also about the respect and equality between family members.
Many days later, an aunt came to the house, and she came back from the countryside to visit us. At home, the title between parents and relatives has always been accurate, and she is called the eldest sister.
It turned out that the eldest sister asked to take some things from the house, and was going to take my mother to live in the countryside with her for a few days.
So the two of you and I said a word, and they quarreled fiercely.
I walked to the living room, saw this situation, and hurriedly comforted and said: "Big sister, look at it, just live here for a few days, and it's not too late for me to send you back in a few days."
And, after all these years, what else can I get here? Besides, this house is not yours alone, so why should I take something?"
The old wife seemed very stubborn, and constantly emphasized to the eldest sister the importance of her at home. On the one hand, I understand the feelings of the elders for the family, but on the other hand, I don't want the eldest sister to be inseparable from each other.
The contradictions in the family are so entangled, and everyone hides their own unspeakable secrets in their hearts. What should I do?
After a long time, there were new conflicts in our family. The girl shows less attention to her parents and more time to devote to her relationship with her boyfriend.
My wife and I used to give a lot to the growth of our children, but now they don't seem to need us anymore.
At a family gathering, I overheard a conversation between my daughter and my daughter-in-law. Her daughter-in-law said: "Where do your parents have any money, we didn't receive their red envelopes this time."
These words hurt me, as parents, we strive to make our children's lives better, but now they are misunderstood as "pampering ourselves more and more".
At the same time, my son also began to grow cold and had less and less dialogue with me. The child who used to snuggle up in my arms is now an adult, and it seems that there is no longer me in his life.
I don't know what the future holds, but I will never forget the way my daughter hugged me that day. The contradictions and entanglements in life may slowly dissipate, but they may always exist.