My name is Wang Lihua, and I am a 15-year-old girl who lives in a small mountain village. My family is not wealthy, but my mother is very demanding of my studies and often forces me to stay up late to study Xi.
"Every night, I had to stay up late into the night to hide under the covers and rest. However, such a life gave me a fatal blow.
One day, the school organized an unexpected trip and we went to a strange place, which was my first time away from home.
However, my mood was soon shattered. The next evening, I received a package from home, and when I opened it, it contained a book about liver cancer.
On the other end of the phone, my mother's anxious voice came: "Lihua, I asked someone to send you a book, you must read it carefully, study medicine well, and you can cure me in the future."
Back at the inn, I hid in the corner alone, tears streaming down my face. Suddenly, Wang Wei appeared next to me, and he asked me, "What's wrong, is there anything bothering me?" and I sobbed and told him about my predicament.
In the evening, Wang Wei and I walked to the stream outside the inn, I was a little upset, he silently accompanied me, I suddenly had a warm feeling.
Wang Wei came to visit my mother, and he was very gentle and considerate to my mother, and his attitude was very respectful. My mother was a little surprised and asked me, "Who is this?" I hesitated, but I still told my mother about Wang Wei saving me.
In the days that followed, Wang Wei often came to visit my mother and me, and he always helped me with some household chores and helped me take care of my mother.
However, once I noticed that my mother had a look of dissatisfaction and confusion in her eyes. She turned to me and asked, "What is your relationship with that young man?" I was a little embarrassed and quickly explained, "Mother, he is just a friend who once saved me once.
You can't let him come to our house again, do you understand?" I can't understand my mother's thoughts, why did she reject Wang Wei like this?
This incident filled my heart with conflict, and I was extremely confused about my mother's attitude. At the same time, I also feel very sorry for Wang Wei, he has always been so kind, why did his mother reject him so much? I began to understand that the conflicts in the family were not formed overnight, and contained many complex emotional entanglements.
Now, my mother's condition is deteriorating, and I am hesitating between my mother and Wang Wei. Such family conflicts make me feel extremely heartbroken.
I felt like I was in a fog, not knowing when the warm sun would shine on my life again.
I felt more and more powerless and lost about my mother's blame and the heavy pressure of my illness. I tried to adjust my mindset and try to take care of my mother, but the inner conflict still haunted me.
One day, I was walking in the garden outside the hospital when a middle-aged woman who looked to be over half a hundred years old approached me.
I'm a doctor and I come here a lot to see patients, and you look a little tired. I took a deep breath and nodded.
You are also a child, don't push yourself. Her words made me think deeply and seemed a little relaxed.
When I got back to the ward, my mother saw the way I was talking to the doctor and immediately became disgusted. "Who are you talking to?Is this kind of person worth talking to?" her words were filled with resentment and hostility, and I felt a little overwhelmed.
As my mother's condition deteriorated, doctors could only provide treatments to relieve the pain. Watching my mother grow weaker and weaker, I was helpless and almost desperate.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do to be free.
For a long time, my relationship with my mother was very strained, full of contradictions and helplessness.
I tried my best to take care of my mother, but she often scolded me for not working hard, which made me feel very frustrated.
One night, I was in the hospital room with my mother, and she looked at me and suddenly said, "Lihua, I have always hoped that you can live a good life and be better than me since I was a child.
I held her hand, tears welled up in my eyes, and I comforted my mother and said, "Mom, don't worry, you'll be fine."
I felt a pang of despair, I didn't want to lose my mother, I didn't want to see her in pain, but there was nothing I could do.
In the days that followed, my mother's condition did not improve, and I continued to stay by her side every day and take care of her as best I could.
I was well aware of my mother's expectations of me, but at the same time I felt pressured and powerless. During this time, I became more aware of my mother's good intentions, but at the same time, I also felt the helplessness and pain of growing up.
Looking back on that experience now, I still can't let go of it. I tried to face the pain of my mother's departure, but I also tried to understand her pain.
Perhaps, this is the challenge and growth that life gives us.