When I was a child, I always dreamed of growing up to have a happy family, with a beautiful wife and lovely children.
I've been working outside the home, and an accident made me live with my 45-year-old aunt.
At the beginning, life was quite harmonious, going to and from work every day. This feeling made me feel a little dissatisfied with life.
In fact, at our age, the biggest conflict comes from family! Until one day, she told me that her second son had gone to the south and died in an accident a few days later.
But the odds are so slim, all I can do now is stay with my aunt and wait for that moment to come.
Life seems to be back to the way it used to be, and our relationship has become more strained. At work, she has become more and more strict with me, asking me to do faster and better every day.
However, I don't know what to do with this atmosphere. The occasional laughter became less and less, and tension and silence filled the air in the factory.
However, this stressful and emotional state of life prevented me from really fitting in and mastering more work skills.
Contradictions are slowly accumulating and becoming inevitable. One day, there was a big problem at the factory, which led to financial losses.
She rebuked me in front of all the workers, and I felt extremely ashamed and angry. I tried to explain, but she didn't listen to me at all.
That night, in the kitchen, I offered her the idea of leaving. I told her bluntly that I could no longer tolerate such accusations and blame.
However, my heart was also extremely painful, and I didn't know if I would be able to get along with her as much as I used to.
Under her silent gaze, I picked up my luggage and left the house. Walking down the street, my heart was filled with confusion and helplessness.
I'm willing to accept punishment, but I need to find my own way of life again.
I also had a hard time explaining my own emotions. I started to distance myself from my aunt because I couldn't handle my emotional issues and couldn't give her more support.
Once, I forgot to buy groceries as she requested, which made her very angry. She scolded me for not respecting her enough, and I retorted that it was just a minor mistake.
After a while, I felt extremely anxious, and I began to doubt my own behavior and my aunt's way of behaving.
I started making excuses outside to minimize the time I spent with my aunt. But when I got home, I found that she never turned off the light, and in the dim light of the living room, the obvious wrinkles appeared deeper on her face.
This longing for my family made me start to push myself to reconnect with my aunt. And in life, we also slowly began to reopen the conversation box and regain some of the sense of closeness.
But our relationship, like the life we pioneered, has become irrestorable.
The contradictions between us have never been completely resolved, and although we try to face them more honestly, there are still gaps between us.
Perhaps, this is a true portrayal of conflict and love in the family.
Soon, another frustrating thing happened. My aunt's factory had some problems, profits plummeted, and she started putting more pressure on me.
I tried to communicate with her and persuade her to adjust her mindset, but she was not willing to listen. We had a good relationship, but we began to quarrel frequently.
Our relationship is at an impasse.
Every night I come home, I feel incredibly tired. But seeing her sitting alone on the sofa silently, I felt distressed again.
She no longer seems to be as gentle as before, replaced by anger and loneliness.
Our differences between us are getting deeper and deeper, and there seems to be no solution to them. I began to wonder if such a life was still meaningful.
However, seeing her helplessness in the dead of night, I felt that I couldn't let go. The conflict between us made me feel extremely painful, and I didn't know how to deal with it.
Perhaps, time will tell.
Soon, we were faced with a new contradiction. One day, I accidentally lost the company's ledger in the factory, which made my aunt very angry.
The distance between us has become farther and farther away, and there has been less communication.
Sometimes a meal companion or a simple joke can't resist contradictions and estrangement.
In this city, I am becoming more and more lonely, and I long to have a home of my own, an independent life.
There are more and more contradictions between us, and communication is becoming more and more difficult. I don't understand why the relationship between me and my aunt has become so complicated.
Despite the irreconcilable contradictions, I struggled to adapt to this life. Perhaps, this is the process of growing up.
I don't know how the future holds, I don't know how long this life will last.