Someone said: "The old man helps to take care of the baby, just so that his daughter-in-law and son can help support the elderly in the future." ”
Some people also said: "If you don't help with the baby, this is a matter of course, and children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren." ”
Once the baby and the pension are pulled together, it becomes a transaction, and the old man with the baby has become a last resort, which is particularly uncomfortable.
The elderly who refuse to take the baby are justifiable, thinking that they have a pension and have worked hard to bring up their children, so they must be fed by their children. The crow also feeds back, the wolf also loves his parents, and the children can't be worse. After pondering, supporting the elderly has some elements of moral kidnapping.
In fact, in the process of raising a baby, adjust your mentality, master the emotional balance of several generations, and a good answer will come.
01
The difficulties of children can be helped a little bit.
Social activist Fei Xiaotong said: "In the eyes of parents, children are often part of themselves, and children are a chance for their ideal self to do again. ”
In the life of my parents, I have too many regrets, so I have summed up a lot of lessons from failures and have a way to pursue advantages and avoid disadvantages.
As a result, parents are willing to give what they have learned all their lives to their children, and they are more willing to escort their children.
The children of the children have also become members of the elderly who are willing to help.
Helping to take care of grandchildren is not necessarily that the old man loves them very much, but that the old man feels sorry for his children.
From the process of taking care of the children while working, the old man saw his middle-aged appearance, so he couldn't bear it.
Children need to go to the future, according to the blueprint designed by their parents. Then, parents can't be idle, but help behind the scenes.
As the saying goes, "The human heart is made of flesh." ”
From the perspective of people's hearts, the elderly cannot watch their children go to the trough, life is confused, but they ignore it.
No matter how much they are wronged, the elderly still take care of their grandchildren in their children's homes, which is the compassion of their hearts and the best encouragement for their children.
When you are old, it is limited to give money to your children, and it is impossible to start a business for your children, and only the matter of bringing a baby can still work. The elderly cannot give their children a lifetime of happiness, but give a little, count a little, and then feel at ease.
Writer Zheng Zhenduo said: "When you are successful, everyone is a friend. But only the mother - she is the partner when she fails. ”
From the perspective of children, when life is the hardest, parents are behind them. If middle-aged people understand this truth, it will be much easier for the elderly to take the baby.
02
The relatives of the next generation have a little bit of it.
A family, with children, will have more fireworks.
Some elderly people in their sixties and in good health are still vying to bring their babies. This is to fight for a share of fireworks and not let the family become deserted.
Intergenerational parenting, which many families have, truly reflects the blessing of several generations in the same house.
Writer Ming Qian Cha wrote a story.
There is an old Weng Su master, who relies on the mountains to eat the mountains, and often goes to the cliffs to pick rock ears.
The rock ear is very expensive, and every time he comes back from picking, Master Su is reluctant to eat it, so he takes it all to the market and sells it, and then changes some daily necessities to go home.
The granddaughter was at the door, and when she saw Master Su from a distance, she said loudly: "Master, your work is very dangerous, and my mother-in-law is so worried." When you pick up rock ears, go to a place where your phone has a signal, remember to tell her. ”
After a while, the granddaughter said again: "Grandpa, my mother-in-law wants to eat stewed chicken with rock ears, you can keep some rock ears next time, remember not to sell them all, leave a bowl for my mother-in-law, and men should not be careless......"
The two paragraphs made Master Su burst into tears, and the fatigue of the whole day was gone. He saw his wife busy in the kitchen, and suddenly felt that he looked much older and a little distressed.
In the TV series "North and South", the old lady Bai Jinghui has lived alone in Beijing for a long time, and her son has settled in the south, and there are few reunions with each other.
Just when she was lonely, her granddaughter went to Beijing to mingle, and her grandchildren were also together for a long time.
When Bai Jinghui passed away, she left the house to her granddaughter and gave her an affectionate letter. Such emotions are a little sad, but a lively time in old age is also gratifying.
The Tang Dynasty poet Bai Juyi, in his old age, also wrote about the fun of bringing grandchildren: "Seventy-five years old, fifty thousand." Although the home was settled, the family members were reunited. Listen to the grandson read the book, and watch the waiter fry the soup. ”
Hearing that his grandson was reading and eating a reunion dinner, the old man in his seventies and eighties was also contaminated with joy, and he was not so bitter when he drank medicine. Exactly, the situation is born from the heart.
03
The meaning of ordinary people, look forward to three generations, and look back at three generations.
As an ordinary person, there is no too lofty meaning, and there is no family wealth to inherit, and even the name will not be remembered by many people.
If you want to talk about the meaning of life, it is to manage your own small family and see six generations.
Later, when he sent away his grandparents and parents, he became a grandparent himself, and naturally inherited the spiritual wealth of his grandparents - kindness.
Anyone who has watched "Chen Qing Table" should be moved. From the perspective of the author Li Mi, it is the grandchildren who are filial to their grandmother Liu. From my grandmother's point of view, it was a great relief.
During the Wei and Jin dynasties, Zhu Ti guarded Li Guang and his wife Liu, raised his son, and helped his son marry a wife and start a family, but his son died young and his daughter-in-law remarried. Li Guang also died young.
The task of raising grandson Li Mi fell to the old Liu.
Liu found a way to let Li Mi study, go out to gain knowledge, and become an official.
When Liu couldn't walk, Li Mi opened a private school at home, teaching and running a house.
"The minister's secret is forty and four this year, and my grandmother Liu is ninety and six this year, and it is the long day of the minister's festival in His Majesty, and the day of repaying Liu is short", as an ancestor, seeing this sentence, the hard work is also worth it, after all, the hope of the family is still there, and it has a long history.
This is the result of a certain generation's efforts, and it is also the best interpretation of life.
If the child is unwilling to have a baby, and wants to dink, the parents will be anxious. This is human nature.
04
Of course, when the elderly take the baby, they must also have principles, and they are not always obedient.
The expenses for bringing a baby should be well distributed, the elderly should not nag, the children should not be picky, discuss more in case of trouble, and the ugliness of the family should not be publicized...... With family rules, generations will get along happily.
In the new era, families don't have to have more children, but it's always good to have one or two children.
Don't always be irritable with the baby, if you and I don't see our grandchildren when we get old, then it's really a pity.
When people are old, there are hardships and joys, don't always complain about suffering, think more about fun, and sweat is sweet.
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The pictures in the article come from the Internet.