In the forest, crows and pigeons are neighbors.
One day the crow said goodbye to the pigeon and said, "The little animals here are disgusted with my unpleasant voice......
The pigeon said: "If you don't change yourself, wherever you move, you are not welcome." ”
This is the "Crow's Law" - when you are excluded, you can't complain, but you have to change yourself.
Yes, in the process of socializing, too many people think that if they change themselves, they will be able to fit in with the group they like. However, the reality is not satisfactory, and it is often that no matter how much you change, you are still not welcomed, and it is better to be yourself.
On the other hand, when we hate crows and they don't want to move, can you choose to stay away? Do you have to let them move?
Learn to look at problems from multiple angles, crows have strengths and weaknesses, take their essence and remove their dross, which is also social wisdom.
If you become more and more unsociable, understand the "crow's law", and you will live a transparent life.
01
Stay away from the "crow flock" and be in a class of its own.
In the social psychology book "The Rabble", it is said: "What the group pursues and believes is never truth and reason, but blind obedience, cruelty, paranoia and fanaticism, and only knows simple and extreme feelings." ”
Something that seems unreasonable is reasonable when it comes to the group. Because everybody does.
If you walk into a group of crows, and your eyes are full of black crows, it is inevitable that they will be black. I will also agree with everyone's ugly behavior.
If you don't stay black, you're in a different way – white feathers are guilty in a world controlled by crows.
Seeing the truth of the group and tasting the pain of being a group, you will wake up and then Xi being alone.
After all, there is no conflict between the two and the flowers, which is one beauty and another.
Su Shi of the Northern Song Dynasty opposed Wang Anshi's reform, so he was squeezed out many times by the groups that agreed with the change.
The article written by Su Shi was taken out for pondering, and a sentence satirizing the imperial court was found. Then he was involved in the Wutai poetry case and was degraded many times.
After Wang Anshi's reform was abolished, the conservatives came to power, and Su Shi pleaded for Wang Anshi again and said a few fair words. As a result, he was demoted many times.
Leaving the group and moving to remote places, Su Shi lived freely, had a lot of time to write poems and texts, study recipes, and left famous dishes such as Dongpo meat and Dongpo fish, and became a gourmand and a writer.
"The heart is like a wood that has been ashes, and the body is like a boat that is not tied. "It turns out that the best arrangement in life focuses on freedom.
It's too uncomfortable to stay in an inappropriate group, so don't drive away from the group, but take the initiative to stay away. Fishing alone, walking alone, reading a book alone, driving alone, as long as you are happy, there are scenery everywhere.
02
Don't listen to the "crow's words", silence is golden.
It is impossible for people to be separated from society, so they will always intervene in other people's groups when they are shopping for groceries, shopping, looking at mobile phones, watching movies, etc. You will also hear a lot of words and see a lot of information.
The crow croaks, such a sound, can not be 100% isolated. Therefore, people who do not fit in will have a shielding force, and they are not afraid of anything they hear, and they don't answer anyway.
Li Bai of the Tang Dynasty, when he was in his fifties, took refuge in King Yong, knowing that King Yong was rebelling, and wrote "Song of King Yong's Eastern Tour" to praise. When King Yong was defeated, Li Bai was also imprisoned.
Tang Bohu of the Ming Dynasty, when he was frustrated, was invited to the mansion of Zhu Chenhao, the king of Ning, and became a staff member. When he learned that King Ning was going to rebel, he immediately pretended to be crazy and stupid and escaped from King Ning's mansion, thus avoiding a disaster.
In contrast, we will find that Tang Bohu's routine is more appropriate. Now that you're in the crow's territory, don't talk and keep quiet, which is the best way to refuse to be gregarious.
In a group, you will have the illusion that because of the overwhelming number of people, the individual will feel that he or she is immense, invincible, as if nothing is impossible.
You say what you say, you say the truth, and everyone is there to help you. Once the consensus reached by the group is wrong, it will be a big problem.
When you really encounter difficulties, the group will be silent, or everyone will be hindsight, and another round of "head is the way".
Always shielded the crow's words, and the ears were pure. Then you have your own judgment, and you also learn to think about the whole picture of society.
03
Only the "crow love" is left, with kindness.
We are Xi to judging people by their appearance, and when we see a black crow, we think it is too ugly and drive it away.
But you don't know, just because a person is ugly doesn't mean he's not kind. Knowing the face but not the heart, we have to slow down and observe deeply.
It is recorded in the "Compendium of Materia Medica: Poultry Department": "Ciwu: This bird is newborn, the mother feeds for 60 days, and the long feeds for 60 days. ”
It took the crow's mother sixty days to raise her children. When the mother is old, the little crow will also feed the mother for 60 days, and report it back.
When we refuse to be a rabble, it is best to be alone with a sense of kindness.
Be filial to your parents, care for your children, and help the weak...... You look like a loner, like a hero.
Pu Songling, a writer in the Qing Dynasty, failed to enter the Jinshi in many scientific examinations, so he simply wrote at home. He is very famous, and many local officials want to win him over.
A classmate who was an official invited him to dinner, and the worship post read: "Please eat Banlu." ”
When I arrived at the meeting place, I found that there was only half a fish on the table. The classmate said, "Who doesn't fish in troubled waters these days? Let's do it together." ”
A few days later, Pu Songling also invited his classmates to dinner, and the prayer post said, "Please eat Banlu." ”
When the classmates arrived at Pu Songling's house, they didn't see food for a long time, so they were puzzled.
Pu Songling pointed to the half of the sun that was about to set and said, "Look, I have already invited you back." ”
From then on, between classmates, they should not owe anything and draw a clear line.
Yes, no matter how life goes, insisting on not doing things that hurt nature and reason, insisting on being innocent, and people with ugly appearances will also be impressive and recognized by society.
You who are out of place, who have always done good deeds and accumulated virtues, have become a banner for everyone.
04
To be an unsociable person is not to be pessimistic in life and not to mix well, but to be unwilling to go along with the crowd, not to join in the excitement of others, and to listen to other people's arrangements.
Be a misfit, don't turn yourself into the image of the group, but insist on being yourself and have your own judgments and goals.
Writer Yishu said: "Life is short for decades, and the most important thing is to satisfy yourself, not to please others." ”
I am spring, warm everywhere, I try to shine, I am not afraid to go into the darkness, and I can light a lamp for others.
From now on, let the crow be the crow and let yourself be yourself.
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The pictures in the article come from the Internet.