Children are not interested in learning Xi and think that they are not talented, they are struggling with homework, their grades are declining, they are seriously biased, they are addicted to games and cannot extricate themselves, they are sensitive and fragile, and they are diligent but inefficient......
Have you read a lot of parenting theories but are at a loss for real-world problems?
In fact, every child has their own willingness and ability to learn Xi, and they learn from passive Xi difficulty.
This book reveals the five key supports for improving children's learning Xi, crowned with five Xi hats of different colors, and uses easy methods to stimulate and cultivate children'Xi s internal drive, emotional self-control, Xi self-control, Xi competitiveness and Xi resilience, dig out the strong desire for knowledge in children's hearts, and regain upward motivation.
The book covers 30+ practical tools, 25 chapters of practice Xi, and a number of scenario simulations. Let parents know and do it, and accompany their children more calmly;
Let children grow up more independently from "I want to learn" to "I want to learn". In the face of an uncertain future, the ability to learn independently Xi is a precious gift we give to our children.
Let the child wear a white hat and have the internal drive to learn Xi
For a long time, in family education, parents have always tried to stimulate their children's internal motivation Xi learning in various ways and stimulate their motivation Xi learning, but too many inappropriate incentives have destroyed their children's internal motivation Xi learning.
The author writes: Everyone has an "engine" in their hearts, and if the "engine" does not run, then no matter what external force is applied, the car of life will not be able to drive.
Therefore, as a parent, we should stimulate the internal drive of children's learning and Xi and growth, so that children can have a growth mindset, can establish a sense of purpose, can accumulate a sense of achievement, and can harvest a sense of value, so as to fundamentally accelerate the future development of children.
First of all, we need to realize that there are three elements to stimulate the internal motivation of the learner's Xi: first, the child should have a sense of belonging, and secondly, the child should have a sense of autonomy and freedom to make decisions about things, so that the child can take the initiative to complete the task.
The second is a sense of achievement, which is the ability and confidence to do things well.
So how to stimulate children's internal drive to learn and Xi?
Use positive language to evaluate your child and accept your child's sense of belonging unconditionally.
It is much more difficult to use positive language than negative language, and when facing your child, if you don't pay attention to negative language, you always blurt it out without thinking.
At this time, we need to realize that we need to pause, repair our emotions, and communicate with our children in positive language.
When communicating with children, the way they talk is important.
Asking questions can help you develop a sense of belonging.
In the beginning, we can use selective questioning, parents can delegate power in small steps, and children will gradually become independent.
We want to give our children the right to make their own decisions.
As the child's ability to make decisions on his own gradually improves, we can use heuristic questioning, and this is when I, as a parent, can fully empower the child and let the child enjoy autonomy.
Motivation is essential as children learn to be autonomous.
Encouraging children to break down goals, deliberately practicing Xi, timely encouragement and timely encouragement will help stimulate children's internal motivation Xi learning.
We always love and hate such children, and we need to fight wits and courage for their education.
Let your child wear a red hat and have emotional self-control
Whether it is an adult or a child, emotional problems are an important problem that we need to solve, and the author also gives us some solutions in this book.
We need to learn to recognize our emotions keenly and be the masters of our emotions, and we need to learn to pause our emotions at the right time and not solve problems in our emotions;
We need to reduce ineffective preaching and let children talk more from their point of view, learn to find and crack the behavioral code behind children's misbehavior, and make full use of children's opportunities to make mistakes, so that children can learn Xi through their own mistakes.
First of all, for emotional problems, the author gives three steps to teach children to recognize and control emotions: teach children to recognize various emotions with the help of emotional face maps, picture books, movies, etc.;
Integrate emotional cognition into daily life, guide children to be aware of their own emotions, and make mood cards to vent negative emotions correctly.
When children have emotions, they can be taught to recognize and express their emotions through emotional face maps, picture books, movies, etc., which are connected to the reality of life.
Emotions are not good or bad, but we must have our own ways to deal with them, and we can't hit other children when we feel angry.
In addition, children can continue to improve their ability to recognize and observe their emotions by Xi constantly practicing the small exercises Xi in the book. Parents can also learn about the various ways to deal with emotions and vent negative emotions through parent-child interaction.
What are you waiting for, put on a red school Xi hat for your child and make a change!
Let your child wear a yellow hat and have good Xi self-control
Studies have shown that people's self-control ability will gradually increase with age, which means that we cannot blindly think that children's self-control ability is poor, but also depends on whether the child's nervous system is fully developed, and whether the inhibitory function of the cerebral cortex is not yet mature.
In exercising children's self-control, we need to start from the daily life that children are familiar with, put on yellow school Xi hats for children, and cultivate them from the five dimensions of self-care, self-discipline, concentration, efficiency and independence.
For example, children like to procrastinate in their homework and like to engage in small movements.
The author gives a three-step method of treatment procrastination to solve the problem of children's friction and procrastination: the three-step method of treatment procrastination is to decode the root of children's learning Xi procrastination through the purpose table of wrong behaviors, and to give children effective support, but support is not substitute.
In our daily lives, we can make a daily routine with our children, instead of nagging and blaming them.
There is a reason behind every behavior of children, and gradually we can let children from other discipline to self-discipline, and accompany children to continue to practice Xi development.
And always keep in mind that we are always just sparring partners in the journey of our children's lives, don't mistake ourselves for drivers, but children will not grow up and find it difficult to be self-disciplined.
Write at the end
For a variety of problems, the author has given the method There are blue Xi hats and black Xi hats in the book, there is no shortcut to raising children, as parents, we must first learn to explore, help children identify their own problems, and improve children's cognition.
Give children full trust, let go and give children the space to do independently, accept children's emotions, cultivate children who are not afraid of competition, and actively face future changes, and one day the child will grow into a towering tree.
"Five Learning Xi Hats for Children" puts children's independent growth in the first place, parents learn to withdraw from their children's lives in a timely manner, and carry out appropriate guidance, and practice Xi methods correctly, so that every child can have independent learning Xi.