When I was a child, my family lived in a small county town, and life was peaceful and leisurely. One day, my mother had a fight with her little nanny, a domestic worker.
When I saw it in my eyes, I felt embarrassed and distressed, so I went to persuade my mother.
"Mom, don't be angry with the little nanny, she's working hard. I held my mother's hand as I persuaded me.
My mother looked at me with a relieved smile on her face: "Good boy, I know you are a distressed mother. She does have a bit of a slouch, though.
"No, every time I see her doing things, she is very serious. "I was busy arguing for the little nanny.
The mother sighed deeply: "Do you think she is like this to you?"
I looked blankly at my mother, who seemed proud of this statement. However, I was puzzled by the meaning of this sentence.
I subconsciously went to her bedroom to look for her, but found that the door was locked. Unexpectedly, my mother's words lingered in my mind.
It wasn't until the evening, when the babysitter came home, that I was able to see her. I wanted to talk to her, but I couldn't find the beginning of the words.
Everything is as usual, day after day, the little nanny is busy at home. Her mother's relationship with her did not seem to have been affected by the incident, and their attitudes had not changed much.
Maybe it's because she's been reluctant to look up.
Once, I secretly observed her wiping the sweat from her forehead tiredly, and in an instant, she became extraordinarily feminine in front of me.
Perhaps because of my gaze, she suddenly turned around and smiled awkwardly.
"Is there anything I can do for you?" I suddenly thought.
She was stunned for a moment, but nodded slightly. I took the rag from her hand and began to wipe the water stains off the table.
Slowly, I began to understand my mother's words. What she meant was that the little nanny was one in front of me and another in front of my mother.
This left me both confused and a little sad.
On a sunny afternoon, the little nanny came to me and seemed to be a little hesitant.
"We... Can you go out for a walk?" she asked apprehensively.
"Okay. I didn't hesitate to say yes.
We met at a teahouse in the town.
Sitting in the courtyard of the teahouse, I saw her relaxed expression for the first time. She also seemed to notice my gaze and couldn't help but bow her head shyly.
"Why are you helping me?" she finally spoke.
I was silent for a moment, then said slowly, "I don't think I know what kind of person you are in front of my mother.
So, I hope to help you.
When the little nanny heard my words, tears welled up in her eyes. She took my hand and said softly, "Thank you, thank you for believing in me."
I looked at her and smiled to wipe away the tears, and a trace of warmth swelled in my heart.
Since then, our relationship has changed slightly. My babysitter and I never confessed much, but we got along closer.
She made tea and did my laundry, and I used to accompany her to her favorite places. Our relationship has become more than just an employer and an employee, but more like an equal and warm friendship.
Over the past few days, I've come to find myself unable to help myself with her smile and smile. I was caught in a contradiction.
I don't know what decision I can make. What's even more worrying is that I'm never sure if she's reciprocated to my feelings in the slightest.
The experience during this period of time has deepened the contradictions in my heart. And the little nanny has always been silently guarding my side.
Just when my heart was wavering, a family conflict suddenly came.
One day, the mother suddenly offered to let the little nanny leave the house, because the mother heard some gossip about the little nanny and began to doubt her character.
I tried to persuade my mother to prove the babysitter's innocence, but she refused to listen to me. She insisted that it was for my benefit.
"You don't know her!" I said angrily.
"The more you defend her, the more I think there's something wrong with her. The mother's tone was firm.
I felt indecisive and struggled inside. I can't deny that I myself began to have doubts because of those rumors, perhaps because my feelings for the little nanny made me doubt the objectivity of things.
I went to the babysitter's room, and she seemed to have learned all this, her face full of worry and loss.
"Miss, I believe in you. No matter what others say, I will support you. Her eyes were firm and full of warmth.
Looking at her sincere eyes, I felt more and more that I could not let go of her feelings. I knew I would stand by my beliefs, but attachment to my family struggled in my heart again.
In the midst of such contradictions, I felt that I was in pain. My inner turmoil was getting stronger. In this small family, I found myself never finding a way to balance the conflicts.
Now, I just want to figure out which of my feelings and sense of responsibility towards the babysitter is more real.
When the ambiguous relationship between me and the little nanny became more and more confusing, a female elder suddenly came from afar among the relatives of the family.
Her arrival made me nervous, because my usual playfulness and stubbornness seemed irretrievable in front of her.
"Little girl, how are you doing these days?" Aunt Gao looked at me with a smile, not in the slightest because of her serious image.
I replied politely, "Thank you Aunt Gao for your concern, I'm fine." ”
Aunt Gao's eyes swept over the room and saw the little nanny busy on the side. As if she had seen through my thoughts, she suddenly became serious: "This little girl, after a long time, is easy to become presumptuous.
I looked at her in amazement, not understanding what was in her words. As soon as Aunt Gao's words fell, the little nanny walked over lightly.
"Hello, Aunt Gao. The little nanny bowed respectfully.
"Are you the little nanny of this family?" Aunt Gao looked at the little nanny seriously.
"Yes, Aunt Gao, I am. The little nanny's voice trembled slightly.
Aunt Gao sighed, said no more, and got up to leave. At that moment, I felt a sense of foreboding.
"What is she doing to you?" I asked the little nanny cautiously.
"Nothing...... It's just that I'm not good at housework, and maybe she's not very satisfied. The little nanny replied with a wince.
I felt a dull ache in my heart. Aunt Gao's attitude scared me, because I could tell that it was not just a simple beating, but a disrespect for her personality.
It's the same family, why is it treated unequally?
The days gradually passed, and Aunt Gao's figure did not disappear at home. The mother also became a little nervous, as if she was worried about what Aunt Gao would say.
I began to realize that any turmoil in my family would quietly involve other people.
It was another sunny afternoon, and I was sitting in the yard with my little nanny. She suddenly turned her head and looked at me seriously: "I want to say something to you......".
I listened quietly, an inexplicable uneasiness rippling through my heart.
"I don't want to work here anymore. She said with a slur.
"Why?" I felt a rush of urgency, and at the same time a parting sadness welled up in my heart.
"Because...... There are so many things that I don't know what to do with them. I always felt like I hadn't found a place in my family.
I froze in place, thinking to myself what that meant. I began to understand that there is not only a conflict between us, but also a conflict of identity, status, and family.
The conflict in the previous paragraph has not been fundamentally resolved, and how will I face the emotional entanglement that follows?
Slowly, an unexpected incident occurred that brought new conflicts to my relationship with the little nanny. One night, my mother offered to tidy up the house, including my room.
"How can you have such an association with a girl of a lower class!" the mother's voice was filled with anger.
I wanted to explain, but my mother categorically refused to listen, saying that such a relationship was absolutely unacceptable. I was so depressed that I couldn't understand why my mother was so strongly disgusted.
My mother's attitude completely tore apart the deep struggles in my heart, and I fell into extreme pain.
When the little nanny learned about this accident, I saw the deep uneasiness in her heart. We used to talk about everything, but now every time we talk about it, we seem to be a little evasive.
I was caught between a rock and a hard place. My mother's attitude made me feel hopeless, and the little nanny's submission made me feel heartache.
The whole family had an irreconcilable controversy, which made me feel stressed.
During this period, I tried to communicate with my mother and try to let her know the excellence of the little nanny, but my mother's concept could not be shaken.
She would rather run away than get me into the conflict between her and her mother.
I felt powerless, I felt lonely in this family. My mother and my babysitter are two women who are crucial in my life, and the conflict between them is too much for me to bear.
Now, I don't know where the relationship is going, and maybe I need more time to think about it and sort out the contradictions.
I don't know what to choose, I just know that the inner struggle is so unspeakable.
A long time ago, my family lived in a small county town, and life was peaceful and leisurely. One day, my mother had a fight with her little nanny, a domestic worker.
When I saw it in my eyes, I felt embarrassed and distressed, so I went to persuade my mother.
"Mom, don't be angry with the little nanny, she's working hard. I held my mother's hand as I persuaded me.
My mother looked at me with a relieved smile on her face: "Good boy, I know you are a distressed mother. She does have a bit of a slouch, though.
"No, every time I see her doing things, she is very serious. "I was busy arguing for the little nanny.
The mother sighed deeply: "Do you think she is like this to you?"
I looked blankly at my mother, who seemed proud of this statement. However, I was puzzled by the meaning of this sentence.
I subconsciously went to her bedroom to look for her, but found that the door was locked. Unexpectedly, my mother's words lingered in my mind.
It wasn't until the evening, when the babysitter came home, that I was able to see her. I wanted to talk to her, but I couldn't find the beginning of the words.
Everything is as usual, day after day, the little nanny is busy at home. Her mother's relationship with her did not seem to have been affected by the incident, and their attitudes had not changed much.
Maybe it's because she's been reluctant to look up.
Once, I secretly observed her wiping the sweat from her forehead tiredly, and in an instant, she became extraordinarily feminine in front of me.
Perhaps because of my gaze, she suddenly turned around and smiled awkwardly.
"Is there anything I can do for you?" I suddenly thought.
She was stunned for a moment, but nodded slightly. I took the rag from her hand and began to wipe the water stains off the table.
Slowly, I began to understand my mother's words. What she meant was that the little nanny was one in front of me and another in front of my mother.
This left me both confused and a little sad.
On a sunny afternoon, the little nanny came to me and seemed to be a little hesitant.
"We... Can you go out for a walk?" she asked apprehensively.
"Okay. I didn't hesitate to say yes.
We met at a teahouse in the town.
Sitting in the courtyard of the teahouse, I saw her relaxed expression for the first time. She also seemed to notice my gaze and couldn't help but bow her head shyly.
"Why are you helping me?" she finally spoke.
I was silent for a moment, then said slowly, "I don't think I know what kind of person you are in front of my mother.
So, I hope to help you.
When the little nanny heard my words, tears welled up in her eyes. She took my hand and said softly, "Thank you, thank you for believing in me."
I looked at her and smiled to wipe away the tears, and a trace of warmth swelled in my heart.
After that, there was a subtle change in our relationship. My babysitter and I never confessed much, but our bond became closer.
She made tea and did my laundry, and I used to accompany her to her favorite places. Our relationship has become more than just an employer and an employee, but more like an equal and warm friendship.
Over the past few days, I've come to find myself unable to help myself with her smile and smile. I was caught in a contradiction.
I don't know what decision I can make. What's even more worrying is that I'm never sure if she's reciprocated to my feelings in the slightest.
The experience during this period of time has deepened the contradictions in my heart. And the little nanny has always been silently guarding my side.
During a conversation I had with the babysitter, she suddenly confessed to me about the situation between her and her mother. She said that her mother had been strict with her in the past, and in order to be able to stay at home and work, she could only keep a low profile and humility in front of her mother.
After thinking about it, I realized that my heart was secretly inclined to choose a babysitter, but my mother's attitude and family responsibilities were still insurmountable obstacles.