Dictatorial: Ms. Chen
Author: Xiaoya
I am 32 years old, married to my husband for 9 years, and have a son and a daughter, my daughter takes my husband's surname, and my son takes my surname.
The reason why there is a situation where my daughter takes her husband's surname and my son follows my surname is because of the strong request of my mother's family, especially my father.
My grandparents had a son and two daughters, and my father, as the only son in the family, had high hopes from childhood to adulthood. My grandparents first saved money for my dad to go to school, hoping that my dad could have a good job, but my dad was not a student and barely finished junior high school and couldn't go on.
Grandpa had no choice but to retire early and let my dad work so that my dad could have a stable job.
My dad's work was not easy to come by, so they couldn't risk losing their jobs and having a baby, and during my mom's pregnancy, the whole family was full of expectations for my mom's belly, hoping to get a man in one fell swoop, so that they could carry on the family lineage for the old Chen family.
However, the greater the expectations, the greater the disappointment, my mother gave birth to a daughter in October, which made the whole family feel disappointed but helpless.
When I was a child, I had a pretty good life, and although my grandparents were looking forward to holding their grandchildren, they didn't abuse me because of this.
As the only child in the family, I also grew up with the pampering of the whole family and received the best treatment, so I had a good relationship with my grandparents and parents.
Growing up, I have seen the lonely look on the faces of my grandparents, and I have heard my grandfather muttering to himself in front of the ancestral tablet that he is ashamed of the old Chen family, and I have not seen my father feel guilty and blamed.
I want to share their worries, and when the opportunity to really share their worries is presented to me, I can't refuse it.
11 years ago, I met my husband, and the two fell in love and fell in love. We have been in love for two years together, decided to give each other a home, and entered the palace of marriage hand in hand.
When my husband proposed to me, I asked him to follow his mother's surname: "Well, I know that many men can't accept this, but I can't help it, I can't watch my grandfather and my dad blame themselves like this all the time." As long as you promise to let your child have my surname, our family can do without a bride price, and the down payment for the marriage house will be shared equally. ”
The reason why I asked for my son to take his mother's surname so early was because I didn't want to wait until after marriage to force my husband, and because I knew that my husband also had an older brother who was already married, and his brother already had twin sons.
I thought that my in-laws already had two grandchildren, and the old Chen family already had a queen, so my in-laws shouldn't mind.
Hearing my words, my husband fell into a hesitation and asked me to give him a little time to think about it. After a week, he told me, "I promised, the first child will take your surname, and the second child will take my surname, regardless of male or female, okay!"
Seeing that he agreed, my parents and I were very happy, and soon the two of us entered the palace of marriage. In order to express my gratitude to my husband, my parents also gave me a wedding room.
Six years ago, I gave birth to my first child, a son. Before I gave birth, my parents and in-laws were waiting for news at the door of the delivery room.
When he learned that I had given birth to a son, my father was overjoyed and burst into tears, shouting, "My old Chen family has a future." ”
My mother told me that my in-laws, who were coaxing the child with joy, heard my father's words, and their faces immediately changed, and they looked at my husband, who lowered his head and had a heart full of guilt written on his face. It didn't take long for my in-laws to call my husband out, and after a while, my husband came back with a depressed face, and my in-laws went straight home.
At this time, we learned that my husband didn't tell me about my in-laws taking my mother's surname from beginning to end, that is, he agreed to me on his own initiative.
He explained to me: "You don't know, my parents have traditional ideas, and our family is also a big family, and I am afraid that they will find it difficult to accept." You also said that this is your father's basic requirement, and if I don't agree, the two of us won't be able to get married!"
At this point, I felt helpless. On the one hand, I felt guilty about my in-laws who were kept in the dark and felt sorry for them.
Since I got married, although I didn't have much contact with my in-laws, every time I went to visit my in-laws, my in-laws were polite to me, entertained me with delicious food and drink, and asked my husband to let me do more, but this time we broke my in-laws' hearts, I am afraid that it will affect the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law that is already harmonious.
On the other hand, my husband made a promise to my parents, and my baby is a son, and my parents will not let go of anything.
In the end, my son took my surname and went to my mother's household registration, and my grandfather took his name. Seeing that the old Chen family had a future, the grandfather felt satisfied, and passed away with a smile half a year later.
Ever since I beat my son for taking my surname, I have been worried that my in-laws will be angry, but I found that the situation is not as bad as I thought. When I went back to my in-laws' house, my in-laws treated me as well, were very polite to me, and would coax my son to play, which made me feel even more guilty, and I decided from the bottom of my heart to honor my in-laws.
At the beginning of last year, I gave birth to a daughter, and my husband was happy and uncomfortable when I saw that it was a daughter: "I want a daughter myself, a son and a daughter make up a good word, but if I think it is a son, I can give an explanation to my parents." ”
At this point, I had to comfort him and tell him not to think too much.
After my daughter was born, my in-laws gave me a big red envelope, which I didn't want, but my mother-in-law insisted on letting me accept it, so I had to accept it.
Originally, I thought that the matter would pass like this, but not long ago my father-in-law celebrated his 60th birthday, we went back to participate, after three rounds of drinking, my father-in-law took out a document and said in front of a full house of guests: "Thank you for your support, I am 60 years old this year, I am not young, and I feel that my physical condition is not very good over the years, so I plan to arrange the aftermath in advance to save my children and grandchildren from disputes." ”
My father-in-law announced his will, leaving the three houses with a total value of 20 million to the eldest brother's family, and only gave our family 200,000, and made it clear that this was a dowry for my daughter.
The father-in-law sighed: "Second daughter-in-law, it's not that I'm biased, but when you proposed that your son should follow his mother's surname, you should understand that there will be today." The child was born to you and your husband, and I don't care who is surnamed our old couple, but these properties are the hard work of our old couple, and it is our Lao Ding family, I can't let the children of the old Chen family divide the family property, otherwise I can't face the ancestors and ancestors, I hope you can understand. ”
Although I was in a trance, I am not a person without conscience, and I can understand the thoughts of my in-laws.
"Dad, I understand what you mean, it's me who is not good, and I am embarrassed for you. The property is what you work for, and it doesn't mean anything to whom you love and who you love to give it to. No matter what, you are all Ding Lei's parents, and I will honor you well. ”
I've long figured it out, you can't be a human being and stand up, and you can't want everything. Since I want to fulfill the wish of my grandfather and my parents, so that my grandfather will not have any regrets, then I will have to bear the price of such a choice.
My husband and I worked hard to do our own business, run a good family, and love our son well, hoping that when my son grows up, he can understand our choice and don't blame us.
END.
Today's topic: Do you think Ms. Chen has done something wrong? Feel free to share your views in the comment section.