What is the difference between a naughty child and an honest child?

Author: Ai Dou (Parent Intensive Reading Author)

Seeing a video, it is enviable.

A girl abroad, who has been naughty since she was a child, has been a "problem" student in the eyes of her teachers since kindergarten.

In painting class, she scribbled on the desk, in handicraft class, she dismantled tools one by one, and in physical education class, she tied up all the skipping ropes.

Because of the little girl's naughtiness, the father was invited to school countless times, but in the face of his daughter's "misconduct", the father did not criticize the education, but only told her not to influence others.

In the father's heart, he does not ask his daughter to become an obedient "honest child", but respects her character and educates her according to her nature.

When she grew up, the little girl became a stand-up comedian, she was more confident and calm than her peers, and it was clear from her smile that she was living a very comfortable and happy life.

The state of the little girl in the video when she grows up is enviable, for naughty children, what can parents do to cultivate them into a free mind, confident and sunny appearance?

Education expert Li Meijin once said: "In the process of growing up, as long as children do not touch the moral bottom line, no matter how naughty they are, it is normal." ”

The more naughty the child, the better off and the more comfortable they are when they grow up.

The more naughty the child, the more self-conscious

In the circle of friends, a mother complained: After the child is 2 years old, it is really too difficult to bring!

The naughty index has skyrocketed.

The cupboards at home have to be rummaged through every day;    

The bed and sofa have become places for "jumping";

When you go out, you want to get out of your parents' hands at any time...

This mother's experience is also what most mothers have to experience when they take their babies.

The appearance of these behaviors indicates that the child's self-consciousness has begun to awaken, and he has his own careful thoughts, and he has the desire to break away from his parents and want to "go into the world" alone.

They begin to see things around them with their own understanding and make certain judgments.

But different children have different levels of self-awareness.

The more naughty the child, the more self-conscious they are.

Many parents have had the experience that when there are guests in the house, the little ones will behave more lively, even mischievous.

Either running around the house, or deliberately creating an "accident" and laughing...

When the adults stop him, he always says "I want it" or grimaces at the adults.    

Such rebellious behavior challenges the patience of adults all the time.

In fact, this naughty behavior of children is not to cause trouble for adults, but they are in a period of self-awareness development.

Running and grimacing in front of guests are all about attracting the attention of adults and hoping to get attention.

Naughty behavior is just their way of expressing themselves and achieving their goals.

Because they have limited life experience, they don't have a clear sense of what to do and what not to do.

Therefore, you can only achieve your own goals through naughty behavior.

The more self-conscious the child, the more naughty he will become, and in order to experience happiness, he will go to the wall to graffiti, run crazy in the crowd, and jump on the sofa bed;

In order to satisfy his curiosity, he would tear down all the toys one by one, pull out the flowers in the pots, and break all the newly bought bananas.

To protect himself, he will say "I don't want to", "talk back" when he feels threatened, and cry when he is not satisfied.

These mischievous behaviors are all manifestations of children's self-awareness, and children with strong self-awareness are also more assertive, more concerned about their own feelings and thoughts, and more sensitive to the influence of their surroundings and others.

Therefore, a child's naughty behavior is not a bad phenomenon, naughty behavior is his way of exploring the world and expressing himself, and it is also the inevitable result of physical and psychological development.

For adults, being naughty is bad behavior and a headache, but for children, it is a sign of their self-awareness.

Adults should not demand children with adult norms, and conform to the laws of children's development, so that children's self-awareness can be developed more healthily.

Don't care too much about the naughty child,

The more honest the child grows up, the more likely it is to have problems

Many parents have a headache when they mention their own naughty children, and they are envious of other people's "good children", "honest children" and "sensible children".

In fact, naughty is the nature of children, compared with naughty, honest children need to pay more attention, as they grow older, the more honest the child when he is a child, the more likely he is to have problems when he becomes an adult.

1. The more honest you are when you are a child, the easier it is to form a people-pleasing personality when you grow up

Many parents will feel complacent because their children are honest and obedient, and it is a very face-saving thing for anyone to have an obedient and sensible child who does not let adults worry about it.

But honesty and obedience are accompanied by lack of assertiveness and caution.

When children are young, if parents overemphasize that their children should be well-behaved and obedient, over time, this value of listening to other people's opinions and not wanting to cause trouble will be buried deep in their hearts.

Children who grow up in such an environment will habitually cater to others in interpersonal interactions, forming a people-pleasing personality.

The people-pleasing personality will overly care about the expectations of others and ignore their real needs, which can lead to emotional depression and anxiety in the long run.

2. The more honest you are when you are a child, the easier it is to rebel when you grow up

A child psychologist once said: A child who is "too obedient" must be a "depressed" child.

Many children are taught by their parents to be obedient, but this is not the true character of the child, but they think that disobedience is dangerous, and only obedience can be loved and praised by their parents.

The thoughts in my heart have been suppressed for a long time, and as I get older, the more I am suppressed when I am a child, the more serious my rebellion will be when I grow up.

When I was a child, I was an honest and well-behaved child, although I saved my parents a lot of trouble.

But growing up without experiencing challenges and conflicts can also make them suspicious of authority and rules when they grow up, and their desire for freedom and independence can make them feel strongly rebellious.

3. The more honest you are when you are a child, the less assertive you will be when you grow up

The more well-behaved and obedient children are when they are young, the more confused they will be when they grow up, and those who are naughty and difficult to manage when they are young know what they want to do early.

On the other hand, those children who are particularly sensible have learned to observe words and expressions from an early age, knowing that as long as they behave "well" and "obediently", they will be praised for being "sensible".

However, children who are accustomed to obeying their parents' arrangements are prone to losing the ability to think independently when they grow up.

The more well-behaved children are when they are younger, the less assertive they are when they grow up, and when they encounter conflicts and criticism, they are afraid that their opinions will be questioned, so they choose to remain silent or conform to the opinions of others.

Li Meijin once said: "Don't care too much about your child's naughtiness, the more honest you grow up, the more likely you are to have problems." ”

Children are naughty and mischievous since childhood, which also indirectly reflects that the child's psychology is very healthy, and naughty children can better adapt to society and interact with others when they grow up;

On the contrary, children who are too honest when they are young need more attention, and the more honest they grow up, the more likely they are to have various problems.

The more naughty these children are, the more productive they will be when they grow up

A children's literature writer once called on parents and teachers on the Internet to put their children's "naughty" and "naughty" in perspective.

He believes that naughtiness is a manifestation of a child's wisdom and a valuable quality.

If a child is obedient and sensible at a young age, and is not a little naughty, it means that his inner wisdom has not yet been developed.

Therefore, as a parent, we should look at the child's naughty nature comprehensively and rationally, and do not use the education method of "eradicating bad habits" to uproot the child's naughty nature.

Especially these types of children, the more naughty they are when they are young, the more promising they will be when they grow up.

1. The king of children

In a group of naughty children, there will always be one or two children who are particularly appealing, and we usually call them "child kings".

Whether it's climbing a tree or fighting, he can easily call on other friends around him to follow him.

This kind of child is active in thinking, bold, and good at making good connections.

In addition, they will perform better than the average child in leadership, communication and social skills.

As they grow older, these traits and abilities will become more prominent, and as long as they are well guided and cultivated, they will be more likely than ordinary people to establish a wide range of contacts and become influential people when they enter the society in the future.

2. Sabotage

Among the naughty children, there is one type of child that is particularly a headache for parents - to cause destruction.

The shoe cabinet and chest of drawers at home have to be turned over several times a day, and it takes less than half an hour to clean up the living room and become a mess.

At this time, whoever takes the child will collapse, but if this energy and curiosity can be channeled positively, the child will also show extraordinary creativity and innovation when he grows up.

And children with strong creativity and innovation are more likely to make major breakthroughs in areas such as science, technology, engineering, and mathematics.

3. Strong curiosity

Curious about how the fish in the fish tank drink water, they fish out and feed the water themselves;

If you are curious about how the flower grows, you will pull up the whole flower;

Many parents will go through the stage of their children's curiosity, and under the impetus of curiosity, many naughty behaviors of children make mothers exhausted.

But curiosity is not a bad thing, and curiosity will make children have an impulse to explore the world, and in this impulse, they will take the initiative to learn and try new things.

Children with high levels of curiosity are more likely to excel when they grow up, and they are willing to take risks and are not afraid to fail.

This positive attitude and willingness to experiment will make them more successful in school, career, and life.

An American Psychological Association conducted an experiment on 700 children and found that:

People who have a naughty personality in childhood have a higher probability of achieving higher achievements in adulthood.

That is to say, the more naughty the child is when he is young, the more productive he will be when he grows up, while those children who are obedient from an early age are easy to be unassertive when they grow up, and it is difficult for them to achieve great things.

The more naughty a child is, the more challenges and difficulties they may experience when they grow up, but these experiences can help them develop a resilient mindset and adaptability.

This positive attitude and adaptability will make them more comfortable facing life's challenges as adults.

In fact, compared with honest and well-behaved children, naughty children will bother parents more. But it is a child's nature to be naughty, and only by accepting a child's nature can we cultivate a positive, healthy and productive child.

About the author: Ai Dou, Columnist of Fushu, Article: Evolution of Mom and Dad, the copyright of this article belongs to Fushu, without authorization, it may not be reprinted, infringement must be investigated, the 4th new book of Fushu has been published