"Yi Nengjing, can you take care of your son?"

Not long ago, Yi Nengjing's son posted a set of controversial photos on social platforms-

In the photo, he wears a wavy wig, wears sexy women's clothes, and steps on sky-high heels, imitating a classic look by Jane Birkin, an English actress.

The comment area exploded.

Men are not men, women are not women

This...... It's hard to judge

Spicy eyes

Someone even shouted at Yi Nengjing:

"Can you take care of your son?"

In fact, this is not the first time he has tried women's clothing, and he has posted similar long hair styles many times before.

In the face of controversy, he called to ask his mother for advice, but Yi Nengjing's response was quite heartwarming.

"I love you, you are free", Harry truly lived as the envy of everyone.

In my opinion, Yi Nengjing, who has always been scolded for "raising her son to waste", knows better what love and education are than many parents who "worry" about their children in everything.

Part.1

Even the youngest children have it

Self-esteem and agency

This incident reminds me of a video I watched before, where the girl had a birthday and her parents took her to the photo studio for a photoshoot.

was originally to make their daughter happy, but the parents have been engaged in "aesthetic bullying":

"You just choose this, the cow ghost god snake is like a big god, can you shoot something normal?"

When choosing films, he kept denying the child:

"This is not as good-looking as a face, why did you choose it?"

"This one looks too much like a zombie, it's not good-looking"

Under a series of blows from her mother, her daughter was directly aggrieved and cried.

The video, which is less than 30 seconds, suffocates every second, and makes me feel sorry for this girl every second.

This kind of thing happens all around us every day.

This parental desire to control their children often extends into adulthood.

Even if you get married and have a baby, you should still be "managed" in the eyes of your parents.

"I'm 25 years old, and I'm still scared when my mom talks."

"It's a good thing that we're not together, otherwise I'd have gone crazy if I said this every day."

When we become parents, it's easy to overlook one thing: our children's hearts are much more sensitive and fragile than we are.

No matter how young a child is, they have self-esteem, and they also enjoy equal power with adults in terms of personality.

The American psychologist James Dubson said:

"There are thousands of ways to make a child lose their self-esteem, but it is a slow and difficult process to rebuild a child's self-esteem."

No matter how small it is, it is also a big thing in the eyes of children.

Maybe the child is still young, even if his feelings are ignored, he can't do anything to resist for the time being.

But one day the child will grow up, and these memories will become a seed that will continue to take root in the child's heart.

And every child whose inner feelings are ignored will surely fall into deep self-doubt and disgust.

Repeatedly, it becomes a permanent scar in the child's heart.

Part.2

The closer you go

The more the child wants to escape

Some people may say, shouldn't children be in charge?

Listen to me: I died early in the morning~

Our generation grew up listening to these old family scripts, and parents worked hard to raise their children, and the children worked hard to repay their fame.

But the children's generation has been instilled with more self-awareness from an early age.

What touched me the most about this matter was the way Jin Chen and her father got along when watching "Daughters in Love".

Jin Chen's father will do everything possible to inquire about his daughter's work through various means, including through his daughter's friends.

But the closer the father got closer, the more the daughter wanted to escape.

Jin Chen revealed to the program team that the biggest trouble with her father is that her father always calls to inquire about her work and life.

In order to avoid this kind of disturbance, Jin Chen even chose not to reply to text messages, not to answer the phone, and to block his parents in the circle of friends.

Doesn't Jin Chen understand his father's love?

Absolutely! She bowed deeply to her father who read the letter to her on the show, with tears in her eyes.

She just didn't know how to respond to this heavy love.

In fact, this generation attaches more importance to the space of their own existence and inner freedom.

When they enter puberty, they will not be willing to be a good baby in the eyes of their parents and obey their words.

They need more self, personal space, and being overly concerned about interference will only suffocate them.

Therefore, I have always felt that the most important thing for parents to grow up is to respect the existence of their children as individuals.

At the same time, we are also human beings, and there is no need to always find the reason from ourselves when a child has a problem, we ourselves are the most important one.

Parents and children need to be separated from the symbiotic relationship in order to achieve complete independence, full reconciliation and mutual understanding.

Part.3

Learn to "keep your mouth shut"

Teacher Li Meijin said that the first thing parents should do when they meet adolescent children is to keep their mouths shut.

In fact, no matter how old the child is, respecting the child's boundaries is like a hen not touching the unhatched chicks.

So it's more important not to do anything than to do something.

I know it's hard, really hard for a lot of parents (including me).

But having faith in your child and letting her take the risks they should take is the love that children need most.

Of course, we toss and turn countless nights, worrying about what they are going through at the moment.

But as a parent, this anxiety is something you have to bear.

It's really not difficult to raise a child, but it's a thousand difficulties to get along with a child~

Share!