Throughout their lives, children can remember the 5 moments of their parents the most, see if you are absent | Reading along

This article is selected from | New Oriental Family Education (ID: xdfjtjy)

Author | The main creative group · Xiaotian

Broadcast | Wu Bingjie 

Visual Design | Fan Wei Wang Rongjia

Column host | Du Runnan

Catch up with my girlfriends on the weekend and listen to her talk about such a thing.

Her daughter wrote a propositional essay in school Chinese class called "My Mother". In the article, the little girl recalled a lot of bits and pieces when she was a child -

"Once, I accidentally broke the water glass, thinking that my mother must be angry, but she just smiled gently and told me to pay attention next time; Another time, I drew a mermaid, and my mother was very surprised to see it, and I was very happy..."

At the end of the article, the child wrote: "These things are unforgettable for me. Mom is the nicest person in the world and I love her! ”

My girlfriend said that after reading her daughter's essay, she was almost moved to tears. She never imagined that those trivial details that she had long forgotten in her busy life, but the child always took it to heart and has been affecting her growth.

It turns out that in many cases, an unintentional action by us adults will set off waves in the hearts of children, making them worry for a long time.

When that little person finally grows up and leaves us, what memories will there be for them to remember for the rest of their lives?

"Don't be afraid, mom is here."

- When his parents make him feel safe

I remember that when my daughter was young, there was a time when she was always restless at night. She would wake up late at night and call out to me in a daze.

Whenever this happens, I always wake up in an instant, reach out and put my arm around her and gently respond: "Mommy is here." "Under my comfort, my daughter soon fell into a deep sleep.

Later, a long time later, when I told my daughter about this experience, she told me with a serious face: "At that time, I was afraid of the dark, but every time I woke up and found that my mother was around, so I gradually stopped being afraid." ”

This little thing touched me deeply. For young children, security is the warm embrace of their parents and the constant companionship. When you grow up, security is the certainty that your parents will always be on your side.

In the work "Wisdom Teeth" by the fairy tale king Zheng Yuanjie, there is such a plot:

The girl Liang Xin was wrongly accused by a classmate of stealing a fountain pen, and the teacher called her into the office to force her to confess her mistake.

But Liang Xin insisted that he did not steal. Her first reaction was, "I'm going to call my parents." ”

The teacher was particularly surprised by this. Originally, I thought that when students encountered this kind of thing, the most fearful thing was to be called parents. Unexpectedly, the girl in front of her was full of confidence and actually offered to find her parents.

It can be seen that this child believes that his parents will definitely support him. Such a parent-child relationship, how moving!

No matter what happens, parents will always be the strongest support for their children and the warmest haven. This sense of security that lingers at all times will be the most powerful armor on the road to a child's growth.

"Child, we will love you unconditionally at all times."

- when his parents give him all their attention

My sister-in-law has been troubled recently.

Since the birth of their second child, caring for a small baby is exhausting. And at this time, the eldest nephew also began to produce "moths".

The eight-year-old boy had to learn to look like a baby, crawling on the ground, noisily drinking milk, and asking his mother to hold and coax. As long as his parents did not agree, he lost his temper and disobeyed all kinds of things.

In fact, the performance of the eldest nephew is called "behavioral degradation" in psychology, and the reason why many children have this situation is often related to parental neglect or a sudden decrease in attention.

It turned out that the birth of my younger brother took away all the concern that my parents had for themselves. As a result, the eldest nephew had a huge gap in his heart, and then there was a degenerative behavior. For young children, "being noticed" is a crucial psychological need in growing up.

When it cannot be satisfied, the child will use rebellious or outrageous actions to win the attention of parents; Once satisfied, it inspires an inner positive motivation that pushes you forward.

"Child, daddy loves you and loves your mom very much."

- The moment when parents get along

Not long ago, I saw a news with love.

There is a mother in Xinxiang, Henan, who lies on the sofa to rest because she feels unwell. When her husband saw it, he quickly leaned over and hugged her, and continued to comfort her gently.

After seeing this scene, the two children immediately learned from their fathers and stepped forward to care for their mothers.

In this regard, netizens have liked it one after another, leaving a message saying: "Father loves mother is the best education for children." ”

That's true. Psychologists point out that the relationship between husband and wife is the cornerstone of family relationships. The details of parental relationships will have a profound and long-lasting impact on the child's entire life. And parental love is not only a needle for family happiness, but also an incomparably valuable growth gift for children.

The pattern of parents getting along is the beginning of children's understanding of interpersonal communication. Parents have deep feelings, and children will understand the true meaning of love through words and deeds; And if parents are always arguing, the child will live in endless shadows and nightmares.

Therefore, to love children, you may wish to start by loving your other half.

"Child, you have always been our pride..."

- When his parents affirm and criticize him

The formation of children's self-perception often comes from the evaluation of others. Among them, the parents' views are particularly critical. Whether it is affirmation or criticism, it will have a huge impact on children.

Remembering the story of the writer Sanmao. From childhood to adulthood, her father did not smile at Sanmao, neglected affirmation, and even showed strong denial and harshness of her articles.

This became a hurdle in Sanmao's heart, and when her father praised her once, she cried with joy.

How many children, like Sanmao, have longed for their parents' affirmation all their lives. So stop being a bad critic for your children, and stop letting your language pierce people like a knife.

Use that warm and positive communication to help children become confident, optimistic and strong insiders.

"The family needs to be neatly together."

- A traditional moment inherent in the family

In this past Spring Festival, my friend purchased Spring Festival decorations, such as spring couplings, Fuzi, Chinese knots, lanterns, etc., and decorated the home with his children with joy.

A quote from a friend that I particularly agree with: "Life is not easy, but we can create surprises through ritual." ”

Looking at the photos she shared in the circle of friends, the little boy's smile was particularly bright. I believe that this Spring Festival will definitely make him unforgettable for life.

In fact, the essence of life is dull, so we must explore its pleasure more attentively. Those small lucky moments with the whole family will make every moment full of fun and unique, bringing the best memories to the child.