The weekly chat is what Lao Li and I must do, one to understand each other's recent situation, on the other hand, in the process of talking about parenting experience, we can find a more suitable way for each other.
The theme of this chat was related to children's housework, and Lao Li said: "I failed too much to educate my children, two junior high school students, one son and one daughter, none of them helped me do some work. Wash your hair, take a shower, change your clothes, even your underwear and underwear with my help to prepare! "It's really infuriating!
This is indeed your problem, how can you get used to children like this? Inertia is like killing children, you take care of the child's affairs, what can they do to exert their own value? ”
There are many parents like Lao Li, who feel that their children should focus on learning during their school years, and parents take care of all the housework. As a result, children develop the habit of relying on everything.
Should children do housework?
This is a practical question, and I see many parents' answers that lean more toward the fact that children should be allowed to do housework. In today's society, there are countless phenomena of only children, and everyone will spoil children too much, let alone let children help with housework. However, excessive love and care for children will produce many social problems, and even there are many gnawing old people in society, and there will be some factors that are unfavorable to children:
1. "Rice comes to open clothes to stretch hands", lack of independence;
2. Grow up under care, no self-confidence and lack of opinion;
3. Will not do housework, lack of exercise, no hard-working spirit.
These are the things that happen to children today, and some even can't wear shoelaces, do laundry, let alone cook. In the old man's common saying, "A piece of bread hanging around your neck will not be flipped and eaten." "Think about what a horrible phenomenon it would be if your own child became like this.
Children learn to do housework, which can strengthen the sense of responsibility
Children cannot rely on their parents forever, and parents do not have the opportunity to accompany their children all the time, and they always have to think that if they leave their children one day, they must always have survival skills. Therefore, it is very necessary for children to learn to do housework.
Harvard University scholars have done a survey and came to a surprising conclusion: children who love housework and children who do not like housework have an employment rate of 15:1 and a crime rate of 1:10 in adulthood.
These two sets of data are not simply a few numbers, but represent the current situation of countless children behind them. Children who love to do housework have strong ability and responsibility, and have better future development. Therefore, letting children do more housework can strengthen their sense of social responsibility and family responsibility, feel the difficulty of their family, and cherish the fruits of labor.
When my sister was more than 3 years old, I asked her to help go to the community convenience store to buy things, and secretly followed behind to observe her reaction. As a result, my sister was very successful in buying the items she had explained, and happily told others: I can help my mother with her work.
When the child does housework, he will get a sense of accomplishment from the fruits of his labor.
Subconsciously, I feel that this thing is "I do well, and I can do another thing well", feel that I am valuable and needed, which is the process of self-confidence.
Today's children's first reaction to difficulties is to withdraw, on the one hand, because of poor solving ability, on the other hand, poor ability to resist setbacks. Often inviting children to help with housework can make them have a deeper understanding of many things in life, and it is a good help for children's self-care ability and mental self-care.
The process of doing housework is to cultivate children's hands-on ability and problem-solving ability. Not only will they gain confidence from housework, but they will also learn to think independently.
Learn three ways to make the baby fall in love with doing housework
Although the mother always appears in the child's life as a superhuman image, if the child can help with the housework and make them feel needed, it can not only increase the parent-child relationship between the child and the mother, but also reduce the mother's work burden.
Way 1: Learn to do housework in the game
Gorky said: "Play is a child's way of knowing the world, in which they live and with a mission to transform him. ”
Guiding children to do housework can start with play, such as asking children to help when organizing toys, and gradually rise to the bits and pieces of life. For children aged 2 to 3, we can let him put away his toys, clean the place where he sits on the dining table, and put the dishes and chopsticks on the kitchen table; For children aged 4 to 5, we can ask him to help clean up the clutter, feed the pets according to the time, take out the trash, pour his own drinks, etc.
Method 2: Respect the fruits of children's labor
What children are afraid of doing housework is not the heavy task, but the "rework" of parents after doing a good job. This will send him a message that he is not doing well enough, or that my parents do not need me if they think I am not doing well. Over time, he lost interest in doing housework.
Therefore, parents should respect the fruits of their child's labor, and if they think that he is not doing a good job and want to rework, choose the situation where the child cannot see. Housework ability is not achieved overnight, I believe parents know this.
Method 3: Give more encouragement
I still remember an incident when I was a child, my grandfather who washed dishes kept boasting: "Washing is cleaner than your mother's, better than her." I always remember this saying, every time I wash the dishes, I feel proud that "I am better than my mother". My grandfather's words not only gave me encouragement, but also felt that I was needed, so I would be more motivated in the process of doing housework. The same can be done for parents of children.
I once saw this passage on a certain point: "My mother once told me that I want you to do housework from a young age, not to please anyone in the future, but to hope that no matter what happens in the future, you will have the most basic skills to survive independently in this world." ”
That's why we nurture our children's housework skills, isn't it?
Mom came to nag in the early morning:
The ancients: labor creates wisdom, all wisdom and experience are obtained from labor, housework is also a kind of labor, let children from a young age to exercise to do housework is of great benefit. How old are your children starting to do housework?
[The picture comes from the Internet, invaded and deleted]