Picky eaters and parental intervention have sparked heated discussions
Recently, a post on Zhihu sparked a heated discussion about picky eating and parental intervention. The author of this post mentions a rather ordinary scenario: children do not like to eat dumplings filled with leeks, but parents insist on asking their children to eat them. Behind this seemingly trivial event, a deeper problem is revealed, namely parents' attitudes and methods in educating their children.
In the comment section, there are many people who are confused about what parents do. Why are some parents so obsessed with forcing their children to eat foods they don't like? This question has led to broad thinking about how parents relate to their children, the choice of parenting style, and the balance of power and control in the family.
On this issue, some commentators have proposed compromises. They believe that forcing children to eat foods they don't like may not be the best way to do it. Instead, it should respect the child's preferences, provide a variety of choices, and let the child make decisions within a limited scope. This approach may help build mutual trust in parent-child relationships, rather than building relationships through control and coercion.
"Child: I don't want dumplings stuffed with leeks. Mom: Okay, then let's eat dumplings with cabbage filling. The child smiled and said yes. ”
Yes, why force a child to eat something that doesn't affect his health?
Don't eat leek filling, you can eat cabbage filling, shiitake mushroom filling, mustard filling, why do you have to eat leek filling?
Others shared their personal experiences:
Before he went to college, he never knew that there was a vegetable in the world called Artemisia.
Once someone ordered a dinner with a classmate, he thought it was delicious, so he asked the name to remember.
When he came home from vacation, his mother asked him what vegetables he wanted to eat, and he said that he wanted to eat artemisia, but his mother didn't say anything.
At dinner at night, there were amaranth and cabbage on the table, and the respondent thought that they did not sell this vegetable.
As a result, during the meal, his mother asked him why he only ate cabbage and did not eat amaranth.
The respondent explained that he did not like to eat amaranth, and felt that after eating it, there was a taste in his mouth, which could not be dispersed for a long time.
My mother got angry, dropped her chopsticks, and scolded him for being strange, and actually liked to eat such unpalatable artemisia, and did not like to eat such nutritious amaranth.
The answerer then knew: The reason why he had never eaten artemisia when he was so old was because his mother did not like to eat artemisia, so the family never bought it, not that they did not have this kind of dish.
It turns out that parents call their children picky eaters, children can not eat any dishes, in most cases, parents themselves love to eat this dish, and parents can not accept that you do not like to eat this dish.
As for you being able to eat strange tastes, you eat allergies, what does this have to do with him/her?
Parents are more concerned about the fact that the child should not disobey his/her choice.
The small leek-stuffed dumplings reflect how many parents who are extremely manipulative, and how many children who are forced to become puppets.
Click on the major social platforms, you will find how many people still live in the shadow of being manipulated by parents:
Some people have not liked to eat chicken liver since they were a child, and they find it difficult to swallow, but her mother took a spoon and forced her two large chicken livers.
She originally thought of agreeing to come down first and throw it away while her mother was not paying attention, but her mother asked her to eat it in front of her, because she knew that she hated eating chicken liver the most.
She refused, and her mother threw her chopsticks and spoon into the trash on the spot and turned to leave.
She had to grab the food with her hands to eat it, because it was so hot, the ulcer in her mouth was bitten out of blood, and at that moment she collapsed.
Some people are 27 years old this year, heroic masters, excellent graduates, won more than a dozen shooting awards, and work life has never worried parents.
They are all renting and moving to find a job, have never hurt others, have a cheerful and generous personality, independent and patient.
However, her mother, because she had an extra ear piercing, cried, saying that she went to extremes, did not obey her parents, and did not educate her well.
Some people kept talking about it because their teeth touched the spoon when they drank soup at noon.
She really couldn't stand it, so she replied a few words, and as a result, she received such a text message from her mother:
"Let's be strangers in the future! Everyone is fine, you are old now, you can live well with or without us. ”
Even gambled and swore ...
She is 25 years old and has been a good girl since she was a child, but she still has not escaped the dilemma of being criticized by her parents.
The clothes taken off are dirty and messy if they are not immediately folded into squares;
You can't go home after 8 o'clock in the evening, otherwise don't come back;
She is 170 tall and weighs only more than 90 pounds, because she has been criticized by her parents when she often eats, resulting in no appetite to eat...
Someone has summarized a list of reasons why your child is reluctant to say anything, and you can see the shadow of many families.
When buying clothes, parents let you choose by yourself, but when you pick one, they deny your vision and pick one for you according to their aesthetics;
Ask what you want to eat, you say you want to eat small cakes, but they say you want to eat soon, don't eat those, ask what else you want to eat, you say no;
You say you want to sign up for a guitar interest class, but they let you focus your time and energy on studying, and in the end they praise other people's children for their versatility...
Over time, children's needs are never met, and they can only eat, dress and study according to their parents' wishes.
Parents still wonder: Why do their children refuse to share anything with themselves? Ask him/her anything just to say anything.
This discussion reflects an important issue: the balance between education and control between parents and children. Chapter 1 makes us think about whether parents should respect their children's wishes while passing on education and values. Next, we will explore the animated short film "The Inheritor" produced by Thai university students, which reflects this issue more deeply.
The profound meaning of the animated short "The Inheritor"
The animated short film "The Inheritor" produced by Thai university students is a thought-provoking work, although it does not have a single line, but it vividly shows the real problems in the family. Through a child's growing story, this short film explores the theme of excessive parental control and manipulation of their children's lives.
In the storyline, parents constantly deprive their children of their autonomy. They take away children's toys, replace children's interests and hobbies with various medals and certificates, and eventually even ruthlessly destroy children's dreams. The child's life is completely controlled by the parents, they become the child's "manipulators", and the child loses his independence and independent choice.
However, the most shocking scene is that the parents themselves are controlled by an invisible force, and their lives have lost autonomy, generation after generation, without end. This picture makes people ponder, will the parents' desire for control become a vicious circle from generation to generation?
This short film inspires two key points that can provoke deep thinking about parenting.
Tip 1: Cultivate your child's personal boundaries
First, from a child's perspective, they need to learn to set personal boundaries. Personal boundaries are self-created norms and limits that should be reflected when others cross them. This means that children need to be clear about their preferences, needs and boundaries, and have the courage to express them, whether in dietary choices, hobbies, or everyday life.
Under the guidance of parents, children can gradually learn how to stand by their boundaries while respecting others. This is essential for developing your child's independence and self-confidence. Children need to understand that they are independent individuals and have the right to make their own choices without being bound by the expectations of their parents or others.
This type of education helps children build their identity as they grow up and avoid becoming puppets controlled by their parents. In parent-child relationships, mutual respect and understanding of each other's boundaries are the basis for the healthy development of the relationship.
Tip 2: Promote children's independence at an early age
Second, from the perspective of parents, they need to promote their children's independence as early as possible. A University of London study showed that parental control behaviour is associated with future mental health problems in children. Overly controlling parents can lead to children growing up less independent, overly dependent, and even reduced well-being.
Therefore, parents need to understand that the cultivation of independence is equally important in the growth of their children. This is not only in terms of diet, but also life skills, decision-making ability, interpersonal relationships, and so on. Here are some of the things that promote your child's independent growth
Key takeaways:
- Respect children's independence: Parents should respect their children's personal choices and decisions, giving them autonomy within a certain range. This can start with small things like letting children pick their own food, manage their own schedules, etc. Gradually improve their sense of responsibility and decision-making ability.
- Encourage active learning: Parents can encourage their children to learn actively and develop their problem-solving skills. This includes encouraging hobbies outside the school curriculum, providing resources and support for children to explore and learn on their own.
- Building bridges: Maintaining open, honest and respectful communication is key to nurturing your child's independence. Parents should listen to their children's needs and concerns, while also being able to share their experiences and suggestions, but not by force.
- Tolerance for failure and setbacks: Children may face failures and setbacks as they grow up. The role of parents is to encourage them to face challenges and learn to learn from failures, rather than solving problems for them. This helps develop your child's resilience and adaptability.
- Lead by example: Above all, parents need to be role models for their children's independence. If parents themselves are overly dependent on their children or manipulated by others, it is difficult for children to learn independence. Therefore, parents should embody the value of independent choice and independent decision-making in their own lives.
Take control of the balance of desire and love
Finally, let's go back to the beginning and think about the balance between control and love. Parents often love their children deeply, but sometimes, this love can be misinterpreted as control. We must recognize that love is free and should not come at the cost of controlling, manipulating, and depriving individuals of their rights.
Parents should maintain a balance in nurturing their children by providing love and guidance while respecting their independence and needs. This requires sensitive observation, listening and understanding. When children are able to make their own decisions and establish their own boundaries, they are better positioned to move towards independent adulthood.
Summary: Picky eating and parental intervention and the Inheritance animated short film raise profound questions about parenting practices. In the process of nurturing children, we must find a balance between control and love, encourage children to set personal boundaries, and promote their independence at an early stage. These perspectives remind us that parent-child relationships need to be based on mutual respect and understanding to help children realize their potential as they grow.