The Zengguangxian text writes:
"Good words are warm in winter, and evil words hurt people in June."
A warm word can make people feel the warmth of spring, and a hurtful word can make people's hearts tremble like a knife.
In the face of the rejection and indifference of strangers, it may not take long for your heart to stop, after all, it has little to do with yourself, and as time goes on, it will slowly fade.
There is nothing more terrifying than verbal violence that comes from the most familiar, intimate, and caring people.
Even if the other party is only a temporary emotional catharsis, the words spoken can make a person frustrated, or even pessimistic about their own life.
Remember, the more we care about how deeply the other person is, how deeply a wrong word from the other person can hurt us.
In this world, the deepest way to hurt people often comes from people who are familiar with each other, never rejection and indifference, but the following 3 words, hurting people invisibly.
1 Say to your parents often: You don't understand
The song "Where Does Time Go" reads:
"Before I feel young, I am old, I have children and adopted daughters for a lifetime, and my mind is full of children crying and laughing."
The time when children thrive day by day is the process of parents getting older day by day.
When I was a child, I always felt that my parents could do everything; When I grew up, I always thought that my parents were outdated in all aspects.
Even if your parents give them some care, it will seem very redundant to themselves.
If parents ask more, they will immediately put on an impatient look and directly throw a sentence: Don't care, you don't understand what you said.
At that moment, the parents' voices stopped abruptly, and although they didn't say anything, their hearts were extremely hurt.
For parents, the most fearful thing in front of their children is to make them feel useless, and the older they get, the stronger this mentality is.
When children say to themselves again and again, "You don't understand", it seems to them to be full of disgust, a sign that the children do not need themselves at all.
The more so, the more parents will blame themselves, thinking that they are worthless, not only can not help their children, but also become a burden on their life path, making themselves sad and sighing.
Therefore, no matter what he wanted to say in his heart, he did not dare to speak to his children, for fear of arousing their disgust and disgusting them.
The relationship between parents and children will become more and more tense, and then on the verge of falling apart.
Please don't just say the three words "you don't understand" to your parents, this is the way to hurt them the most, and to make them feel needed is the greatest filial piety to parents.
2 Say to your lover frequently: You are casual
The best way to get along with your lover is to discuss with each other, face it together, resist the ups and downs on the road of life together, and witness the most beautiful scenery in the world together.
No matter how big or small, it can never be just one person's unlimited dedication, but rely on each other's joint participation.
The more they discuss with each other, the more long-lasting and happy the relationship between the two people will be.
On the contrary, if two people are together, no matter what they say, one person will always frequently say to the other: you can think as much as you like, you can do whatever you want...
Such passive resistance, or an indifferent attitude, always hurts people, instantly leaves the other party speechless, and has mixed tastes in the heart.
When a person says the three words "you are casual", the implication is that your affairs have nothing to do with me, I don't care, I don't care, and I won't care.
Even if two people argue with each other about a small matter, it is much better than this attitude of suddenly closing communication and suddenly rejecting people thousands of miles away.
Such words make the other party not know what to continue to say, no matter how much he says there is no response, and slowly his heart will be completely cold.
In my opinion, the most feared thing in the relationship is not disputes, there are problems to say problems, there are differences to resolve differences, the most afraid is that one person wants to say, the other person does not listen, resulting in each other's speechless.
Eventually, no matter how intimate the relationship is, it will come to an abrupt end and lead to separation.
3 Get used to saying to your child: No work
In the eyes of children, being able to be affirmed and recognized by parents is the most beautiful language in the world.
Parents' encouragement or positive encouragement to their children often makes them confident, more motivated, and courageous to do what they want to do.
Most importantly, confident children tend to be more successful in life.
On the contrary, if you suppress and deny your children everywhere, and get used to saying "no interest" to them, it will have a negative impact on their lives.
I saw a documentary that recorded the growth of some children from childhood to adulthood.
Among them, those children who often receive encouragement and praise from their parents are often very productive and can live their lives well.
On the contrary, children who have been denied by their parents since childhood are also very prone to low self-esteem when they grow up, and they are not confident in everything, even if they perform well, they are afraid and forward-looking.
When you casually say to your child, it is to deny the growth of a child, and it is also the deepest way for them.
If you want your children to have a chance, you must not be too negative and suppressed, but give more encouragement and praise, and don't say the three words "no interest".
Life is a practice.
Along the way, you must not only learn how to get along with strangers, but more importantly, learn how to be kind to those closest to you.
No matter when, don't easily say these hurtful words, the words spoken are like splashed water, often the damage to a person will be irreparable.
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Image source: Photogram