After reading the top students with more than 700 points in the college entrance examination, I threw my son's summer schedule into the trash
Children are the epitome of the family, and education is to fight daddy and mom.
But this "fight" is about habit cultivation, the quality of companionship, and vision planning.
Author | Coke Mama
This year, my son took the high school entrance examination.
The results came out two days ago, and the score was not bad, twenty points more than he expected.
After the friends around them learned about it, they all said: "This score should be stable, and you can finally breathe a little." ”
After I listened, although I smiled and nodded on the surface, my heart was not relaxed at all.
After all, after the middle school entrance examination, there is also the college entrance examination, that is the real watershed in life.
When I think about it, I can't stop being anxious.
To this end, I spent a few days studying various learning strategies on the Internet in detail, and also consulted many teachers from key high schools, and worked out a detailed summer study schedule for my son overnight:
According to my plan, after one summer vacation, my son's progress will be a full semester ahead of other children.
Unexpectedly, when my son saw this schedule, he instantly exploded:
"Why do I finish all the exams and start studying at 7 o'clock every day?"
"You arrange so many tasks for me every day, how can I have time to hang out with my classmates, we all made an appointment in advance!"
But no matter what my son said, I refused to back down.
In my opinion, where the holidays are used for relaxation, it is for overtaking in corners.
But it wasn't until recently, when the college entrance examination scores in various provinces came out one after another, that when I watched the interview of Wu Math Master, I realized how wrong I was - it turned out that none of the parents of those top students were like me who stumbled every day.
What they do is actually to plug in wings for children and help them fly to a wider world.
Develop habits
It is the key to opening up the gap between children
After the college entrance examination was released this year, a child named Yang Yiming left a deep impression on countless people.
The reason is also very simple, with a full score of 750 in the college entrance examination, he scored 726 points.
Among them, 132 points in Chinese, 144 points in English, and full marks in mathematics and comprehensive science, which is simply as "blockbuster" as his name.
As soon as the results came out, someone exposed his family background:
Yang Yiming's mother is a teacher at Jiangxi University of Finance and Economics who spends her spare time in the library.
Subtly, Yiming developed a good habit of loving reading at a very young age.
In addition, mothers attach great importance to cultivating the habit of careful attention in their sons.
It is precisely because of this that Yiming's foundation will be particularly solid, both arts and science, and has maintained a stable high level of performance in the three-year high school exam.
In fact, when many parents of top students talk about their educational experience, they can't do without one word:
Study habits.
As the philosopher Bacon said:
"Habit is a tenacious and tremendous force that can dominate a person's life."
Remember the Yang Chenyu who broke the record for the highest score in the college entrance examination in Guangxi Province?
He not only excelled in his studies, but also proficient in various talents, such as football and badminton, and could write calligraphy.
At first, many people thought that Yang Chenyu was a rare genius.
It wasn't until Mother Yang's understatement that the truth was revealed:
"Be sure to supervise the habit when the child does not have the ability to think for himself.
The process of supervision is painful, you have to supervise him all the time, keep an eye on him, but after the stereotype, the rest of the road is easy. ”
Those glittering children are the sum of a series of good habits.
When habits are dissolved in blood and melted in the heart, even without the persuasion of parents and the strict watchful eye of teachers, children will spontaneously move towards excellence.
And the gap between children and children has widened.
Be attentive to your heart
Let your child move forward without distractions
The University of Michigan once did a survey that came as a surprise:
The key to determining a child's proper behavior and top exams is neither the amount of homework nor the degree to which parents supervise their children, but the frequency and length of family meals.
Every child who seems to be conscious and motivated is actually imbued with the high-quality companionship of his parents.
Previously, there was a pair of twin students in the rural area of Sanguan Temple in Cili County, Zhangjiajie City, Hunan Province.
One of the brothers went to Tsinghua and the other to Peking University.
When they received their acceptance letters, they all talked about the influence of their farmer father on themselves:
"My father's company has been our driving force for the past three years.
Although my father cannot give any guidance in learning, no matter what difficulties and bottlenecks he encounters, as long as his father is there, he feels that he has something to rely on. ”
They said that during the three years of high school, every weekend, my father would rush from his rural hometown to the county seat.
Just to meet with the two children and ask them if they have any needs in life.
Many times, the influence of parents on their children is not about how much money they earn or how many things they buy for their children.
Only in the early stages of the child's life, whether parents have left love and companionship in the details of daily life such as eating, talking, and studying.
It is these seemingly inconspicuous moments that make children more and more convinced that they are seen and accepted, so as to give birth to the confidence to move forward.
Yuan Shuai, a 711-point student from Sichuan, his mother is also a parent who values companionship.
When the parents of other students only know to urge their children to read books and do problems, Yuan Shuai's mother will accompany her son to play a game as a friend.
Later, Yuan Shuai also admitted in an interview that the key to his success was his mother's company and support.
People's Daily once published an article reminding parents:
"Educating children well is the most important career in a parent's life.
No matter how much money parents earn or how much honor they achieve, it is not as good as the glory of educating their own children. ”
With the escort of parents who are not absent, children can explore freely and soar into the sky under the loving eyes of their parents.
Learn to plan
Give your child a key to self-enhancement
Have you heard of Wang Jinzhan, the "God of War in the College Entrance Examination"?
He once led a class of 55 students, of which 37 were admitted to Tsinghua University and Peking University, and 10 were admitted to world-renowned universities such as Oxford and Yale.
In his view, the difference between children is not so much the score, but the planning ability.
Therefore, when he faced his daughter who failed the high school entrance examination, the first thing he considered was how to make a plan for his daughter.
After a period of observation, Wang Jinzhan found:
Her daughter's intelligence is ordinary, and wanting to enter Peking University at such a level is tantamount to dreaming.
So, after studying the admissions policies of major prestigious schools, he found that he could let his children take the path of special students, and through multiple comparisons, he chose a suitable musical instrument for his daughter.
Under his influence, her daughter also learned to make and execute a plan, and finally successfully entered Peking University.
Life is like chess, heaven and earth are the board.
Only by being good at planning and real-time adjustment can children's lives continue to break, but many parents ignore this.
Before, I saw a video taken by a Tsinghua boy.
The boy came from a fifth-tier city, and after attending Tsinghua, he met a "second-generation official" friend whose father was the dean of the university.
In the beginning, the two often played music and talked about physics together.
But gradually, the gap between boys and friends grows:
The boys went to class step by step, completed the basic homework, felt that everything was fine, and lived an ordinary life;
But my friend changed departments, not only went to Berkeley for exchange, but also published three papers in top journals during college, and finally went to a top four university in the world to study for a PhD.
After graduation, the boy found out in the review that the gap between the two came from the gap in family education.
The boy's parents didn't give him any advice on short-term goals and long-term planning, so after college, the boy never knew where to go until his senior year.
But his friend's father made him understand early on that everyone is the designer of their own life.
It has to be said that the parents of top students are often quite far-sighted.
The planning ability they give children is like a beacon, so that children can not get lost in the vast sea, not be dazed, and have the ability to continue to grow and improve.
Take your kids to do these things during the summer vacation
100 times stronger than chicken dolls
When I saw the growth experience of Wu Math Master, I decided to throw away the summer planner I had at hand.
Take advantage of the holidays to take your son to do the following things:
Take your child to read a few good books
The father of a schoolboy girl was interviewed, and when asked how he usually raised his children, the father replied:
"Not cultivated at all!"
But in fact, the "don't care" in Dad's mouth is not really a two-handed mess.
Instead, in a subtle way, cultivate children's good habits.
When my daughter was about one year old, my father ordered a lot of children's pictorial magazines and picture books.
"When she was a child, she couldn't read, so we told her that she mainly looked at pictures. Slowly, she read it herself and told us the story. ”
In this way, her daughter gradually fell in love with reading and developed a good habit of efficient reading.
Summer vacation is the golden period for cultivating good habits in children.
During the holidays, you may wish to read with your children, discuss and reminisce about the storyline in the book, and look for the sparkle in each character in the book.
Once the habit of reading is formed, children will surely benefit for life.
Supervise children to practice their words at home
As the saying goes, where a person spends his time, his achievements are there.
Not long ago, I saw the language test paper of Yang Yiming, a Jiangxi scholar, on the Internet; The roll surface is neat and handwritten, and the entire test paper has not been altered anywhere.
It is not difficult to see that he must have put a lot of effort into this.
In fact, a good hand of words can not only become a "plus" in the child's examination room, but also allow children to slowly develop the good habit of concentration and care in the process of practicing words.
In the hot summer, reading and writing with children, I believe that those anxieties and troubles will also be cut a lot unconsciously.
Take a short trip
Recently, a pair of twins Du Yilang and Du Youlang in Yunnan have been on the hot search for both applying for Tsinghua.
It is understood that the father of the brothers often takes his children out to travel on weekdays, and the world is growing in the north and south.
In 2013, my father brought his family to Beijing, and after visiting Tsinghua University, the brothers decided to study here in the future.
At that time, the two children were only in the third grade, which was the age when everything felt fresh.
My father thought it was a joke and laughed it off.
Unexpectedly, years later, the children actually got their wish.
Sometimes, a trip can not only broaden a child's horizons, but also change the course of his life.
This holiday, if you have the conditions, take your children out for a walk.
Having seen the vastness of the world and experienced the variety of human feelings, children can learn and live in a better state.
Exercise with your child for half an hour a day
The 2022 National Depression Blue Book was released and states:
In China, depression under the age of 18 accounts for 30% of the total population, 50% of depression patients are school students, and the depression rate of adolescents is as high as 15% to 20%.
As a parent, I really shudder to see such data.
I have to admit that our generation of children is facing unprecedented pressure and an incomparably heavy academic burden.
In this regard, a senior teacher gave the following advice:
Exercise with your child for half an hour a day.
Not only because exercise can help the brain secrete dopamine, eliminate fatigue, and relieve stress.
It is also because of this parent-child time of running and jumping with children that children can get love and healing from practical companionship.
Make a plan with your child
There is a word in psychology called the "Matthew effect", which says that the strong will get stronger and stronger, and the weak will get weaker and weaker.
In fact, there is also a "Matthew effect" in learning:
Children who are good at planning can always move towards the goal in an orderly manner, read books and do problems easily, and have a lot of time to develop hobbies;
Children who are not good at planning are difficult to complete the tasks assigned by the teacher every day, and after a long time, they also burn out their bodies.
To solve this problem, it is necessary to develop children's planning skills as early as possible.
When teaching your child to make and execute a plan, be sure to tell him the following principles:
Make sure you're always doing what matters most;
Learn to give up things that are beyond your ability;
Arrange your time according to your actual situation.
In the book "The Awakening of Parents", it is written:
"Every child has the potential to become an excellent person, but the parents' daily education methods give children a different life."
To become a top student, hard work and luck, struggle and talent, resources and background are very important.
But the most important thing is that parents and families can give children a soil for upward improvement and improvement, so that children can grow from seedlings to trees.
Lead by example and show them the power of habit, the warmth of companionship and the importance of planning.
In fact, there has never been anything inherently good in this world.
It's just that parents and children hold hands, open roads in mountains, build bridges when they encounter water, and in the end, witness the appearance of miracles together.
Like it, I hope that all parents can say goodbye to internal friction and anxiety, and accompany their children's growth in a more suitable way.