#头条文章养成计划 #
A writer once said that everyone will live from a gregarious appearance to an unsocial appearance, and loneliness is the inevitable destination of all mankind.
When we are young, we especially hate being lonely, and would rather please others and be gregarious than go alone. At that time, it seemed to us that loners were outliers.
Therefore, we will integrate into the group, we will not have our own opinions on everything, and we will do what others say to do, and the more we live, the more like a puppet controlled by others. Soulless.
As experience increases, our mood changes, and we hate groups and do not want to be controlled or influenced by others. Slowly, we will break away from the group and choose to live alone.
In the eyes of those around us, we have all become outliers. But the actual situation is only clear to us, and if we do not live for ourselves, we can only become puppets for a lifetime.
A person, who has no popularity, and likes to be alone, then he probably has these 4 pursuits.
1. Pursue a free, dashing and brisk life.
The famous philosopher Schopenhauer said that the most special weakness of human nature is to care about how others see them.
Caring about the eyes of others is one of the key reasons why countless people live miserable lives. In particular, people who are influenced by the "concept of gregariousness" always believe that if people live, they cannot be unsociable.
Being gregarious is inevitable, but there is a premise, that is, it cannot affect your own life and choices. Do what you want, you should do, and you should not be bound by the circle.
In the workplace, others eat together, fish together, go to the toilet together, and do everything together. At this time, how will you choose? If you choose to be gregarious, you are in control of your life.
There is no need to care too much about other people's actions, and there is no need to pay too much attention to other people's opinions. Others think it's good to be gregarious, and that's their own choice. If you think that being alone is free, then live alone.
People live a lifetime, as long as they live freely, dashingly, and lightly, it is enough, what else is required?
Second, listen to your heart and no longer follow the trend.
There is a sentence in "Brave New World": "Life is only a few decades, the most important thing is to satisfy yourself, not to please others." ”
How to do it to truly satisfy yourself? Just the four-word principle – listen to your heart. What we have in our hearts, we will live how to live, without thinking too much.
People, if they think too much, they will be cranky and led by the nose. If you don't listen to your heart, you will go with the flow, and what others say, we will do, and we will not be happy at all.
A group of people has a group of people's loneliness, a person has a person's carnival. Sometimes, the greatest joy is to do whatever a person wants.
If you want to read a few good books, go for them. If you want to travel, take your family all over the mountains. If you want to swipe your phone, if you don't want to roll it, then swipe your phone. I believe that your happiness index will be particularly high.
From the perspective of human psychology, doing things according to personal ideas, the happiness index is the highest. In this case, why should we humiliate ourselves and follow the flow to be human?
Third, I have been hurt by others and gradually understood human nature.
If you have not been exposed to darkness, you will not yearn for light. If you have not suffered the bitterness of life, you will not cherish the sweetness of the moment. If you have not been hurt, you will not see through human nature.
In the past, we always thought that human nature is inherently good, so we brazenly interacted with people we didn't like, thinking that by doing so, we could move others and exchange them for sincere good friends to us.
In fact, we are all wrong, the result of wishful thinking is just to be let down and taken advantage of. The so-called "people are good and deceived by others, and horses are ridden by others" is this truth.
Your goodness will not be exchanged for the respect of others, but only for the bullying of others. After experiencing these things, your heart will absolutely be rock solid and there will be no fluctuations.
To be a person, there is no need to be cheeky to please others, there is no need to kneel and lick others, and there is no need to degrade yourself. Everyone is equal, so just get along equally.
People who see through human nature are actually very indifferent, but their hearts are very thorough and know what to do and what not to do. This is the greatest maturity of ordinary people.
Fourth, disgust for hypocrisy and gradually yearn for truth.
In your opinion, people, can they really be hypocritical for a lifetime? The vast majority of people can't do it, and they will give up the hypocritical way of living halfway and live as they really are.
When I was in my twenties and thirties, I would wear a mask for entertainment and business talks, play with others, and think that I had made a lot of contacts and friends. When you encounter a problem, you find that others don't know you at all.
When I was forty or fifty years old, I rarely went to socialize, and even the so-called class reunions rarely went. Instead of wearing a mask and playing with others, it is better to live in real life and how to be comfortable.
This is what Lao Tzu talked about as "returning to basics". People will go through such a circular process: simple - complex - simple. Going around in circles for decades, or simply living is the purest.
There are not so many deceits, there are not so many you and me, there are not so many people's evil hearts, some are just real and unpretentious lives, simple and happy.
Getting rid of hypocrisy and living more and more real is not a bad thing, it is precisely the beauty of "after half a life, you are still a teenager when you return".
Text/Shushan has deer