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Depression is looking for good people? It's just because you're missing that

author:Director of Nanchang Gao Xicui

  "Give the last piece of cake to my sister, but I actually want to eat it too."

  "I've tried to be proud of my parents."

  "I am a rotten good person at work, never refuse other people's requests, and I am overwhelmed by all kinds of work."

  "Worried that others don't like me, I always show people with a smile, follow what others mean, and always reflect on whether I will have any details that others will annoy."

Depression is looking for good people? It's just because you're missing that

  In life, there are many people who do not know how to refuse, do not know how to care about themselves, and always suppress themselves to satisfy others, but they forget to be themselves.

  And this kind of "kind" person is always tolerant of others everywhere, and whenever he considers the feelings of the other party in advance, he will break his teeth and swallow it when he encounters grievances.

  Until the end, emotions accumulate and develop into depression.

  Why is kindness found by depression?

  Mainly because the "good guys" became a defense mechanism.

  The defense mechanism is our shield to protect ourselves and protect us from or less harm in the face of danger.

  Most people use defenses to make themselves better, but the defenses used by "good people" are self-aggression and suppressed emotions.

Depression is looking for good people? It's just because you're missing that

  The heart is poked in holes, and it is not far from depression.

  Healthy selfishness reduces the risk of depression

  Although our education and social ethos call for tolerance for everyone, we should maintain "healthy selfishness" and not feel embarrassed, selfishness is not all bad.

  "Healthy selfishness" is that when we need to be with others, we should first remember to respect ourselves, stick to the bottom line, and understand that our health and happiness are more important.

  1. Learn to say no and say "no" bravely

  When someone is asking you too much and you don't want to help, wait 2 seconds to make a decision, give your brain a chance to buffer, and think about what you really want to do? Can it be done? If you don't want to, don't have time, refuse.

  Rejecting others is by no means selfish, but defending our basic rights and interests, adhering to our own principles, and being true to ourselves.

Depression is looking for good people? It's just because you're missing that

  2. Have the courage to be hated.

  The fear of being hated by others is a source of a person's suffering.

  Many times, I am always too surprised by the evaluation of others, so as to suppress my true thoughts, as if wearing a mask, the world grows, the mask cannot be taken off.

  Try to do what you want, according to your heart, because no matter how you do it, there are always people who like you and people who don't like you, so that at least we can like ourselves more.

  As long as a person has the "courage to be hated", he can get rid of the constraints of other people's opinions and get rid of the dilemma of inner doubt.

Depression is looking for good people? It's just because you're missing that

  3. Don't live in the expectations of others, face up to and cherish yourself

  "If you expect yourself to meet other people's expectations in everything, one day you will feel very miserable," Tsai said. ”

  Life is short, always try to meet other people's expectations, cater to others, please others, will make you live very tired, I hope that the rest of your life will not be bound by the eyes of the world, face yourself, cherish yourself, enrich yourself, live yourself, and become a brave person.