Why are children always easily seduced? I can't help but eat small cookies when I see them, I can't help but buy them when I see toys, and I can't help but play when I see games;
Some children are able to control their impulses well, such as being able to wait for a better dessert, saving for a better toy, and studying for higher grades
Do you think this is a child's intelligence problem? Or is it a personality issue? In fact, the difference between these two types of children may lie in their way of thinking.
The content of today's article is not to teach you mechanical education methods, but to let you understand how children's brains, and the brains of each of us, operate in the face of problems, as long as you master the principles, you can educate your children more flexibly. The content of this issue may be a little brain-burning, and it is recommended to watch it repeatedly after collecting.
First of all, we need to know the basic fact that when our brain thinks about problems, there are actually "two systems" at work.
System 1 is a fast, intuitive, emotional, and subconscious way of thinking that is responsible for most of the things we do in our daily lives, such as recognizing faces, doing simple calculations, making common sense judgments, and so on.
System 2 is a slow, logical, rational, and conscious way of thinking that deals with the complex, difficult, and novel things we encounter, such as solving math problems, making decisions, planning, and so on
Because of the nature of System 1, it is always on and cannot be turned off, but in your life, when you encounter problems such as "73 times 12", the brain's System 2 will start.
Now that we understand how the brain works, let's look at an interesting psychological experiment that puts some 4-year-olds in a cruel dilemma. These children can choose whether to get a small reward (a cookie) at any time or wait 15 minutes in a trial environment and then get a bigger reward (a beautiful dessert). Each child had to be in a separate room with a table in front of them with two things: a cookie and a bell. The child can ring the bell at any time to notify the researchers and receive a cookie, or wait 15 minutes, the researchers will send tempting desserts, the results of the experiment naturally divided into two camps, some children are not willing to wait to keep pulling the bell, and some children try to divert their attention, and finally insist on 15 minutes to get dessert
This experiment seems simple, but it actually contains profound meaning. Because the researchers didn't end there, they also followed the children for decades and found some startling facts. It turns out that children who can delay gratification show higher self-esteem, self-confidence, social skills, and learning ability as they grow, and they are also more likely to achieve better grades, higher incomes, healthier bodies, and happier lives. Children who are not able to delay gratification often encounter more problems, such as emotional instability, lack of concentration, excessive stress, poor grades, low income, and so on. These results suggest that the ability to delay gratification is a very important psychological quality that can predict a person's future success and happiness.
The results also illustrate that children who are not willing to wait have no problem with their intelligence, but that their system2 is not active enough to resist the temptation of instant gratification, and finally manifests itself in control and intelligence as they grow up over time.
Superficial or inert thinking is undoubtedly a thinking defect, so how can you help your child avoid this trap today?
My suggestion is this:
1. Give your child some positive and effective feedback. For example, you can praise and reward your child in time for the characteristics of System 2 in thinking and acting, such as rationality, calmness, efficiency, etc
2. You can objectively evaluate and guide children in thinking and acting in the problems of System 1, such as prejudice, interference, mistakes, etc
3. The Schulte square training method can effectively train and cultivate children's attention, and the improvement of attention will effectively improve the participation of System 2 in the problem
That's all I want to share with you today and suggest it to you and your child. If you have any questions, please leave a message in the comment area
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